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Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,415
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

@hondagirl

You've received some brilliant advice here from many wise posters.  All I can add to that is, if you understand the value of a Honda, then you know you're smart and a thinking person.

You can decide to be as stalwart and reliable and low maintenance and desirable and all-around cute as Hondas are known to be.

You're on your way.  Let go of what isn't working and move forward to what is.  Be the Honda.  (I do not mean that to be flippant.  I know what a good thing a Honda is.)

[was Homegirl] Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,629
Registered: ‎06-14-2016

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

I'm sending you a big HUG!!! you are a survivor, you made it.

 

FEEL PROUD of yourself.  Many people have not survived breakups, just watch some of the hoarders or investigation discovery shows. 

 

YOU DID IT!!!

 

And the BEST REVENGE... is living a GOOD LIFE.

 

I learned that early in my life, when "MEN" have broken my heart, hurt my feelings I had to "TALK TO MYSELF", encourage myself and say.....

 

Make sure you create a good life for yourself.

 

The best revenge is to have a good job, live well, travel and  be HAPPY!!!

Happiness is ALWAYS an inside job,
Don't assign anyone else that much POWER
in your life!!!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,512
Registered: ‎09-16-2010

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

@ScarletDove: Life took me down your road with the same thoughts and feelings and same results. Merry Christmas. Southern Bee 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,232
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life


@SouthernBee wrote:

@ScarletDove: Life took me down your road with the same thoughts and feelings and same results. Merry Christmas. Southern Bee 


@SouthernBee  Congratulations to you and Merry Christmas!  Looks like a bunch of us are in the same club!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,890
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

FORGET THE HOLIDAYS.  Your old mate has moved on and WILL NOT be back.  IF you cannot be happy with the holidays then FORGET THEM and go on living with your NEW MATE.  Spend your days during this time planning a trip for later. Go to the movies there are plenty of non-holiday themed movies out there.  Go to the theater. Talk to your new honey and see if offering your time to a shelter or kitchen would be a good idea.  MAKE IT ABOUT OTHERS. 

The Loser who left you will Never stop hurting you if you don't stop letting  him. DON"T LET HIM WIN.  YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

like the Eagles song says  "So many times we live our life in chains and we don't even know we have the key."

 

Regular Contributor
Posts: 186
Registered: ‎11-18-2018

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

My first husband was the love of my life and I still love my memories of him. However, he died very young and I had no choice but to go on. I have been married to my second husband for 36 years now. I would not have remarried if I was not ready to accept that #1 was completely gone and I could give my life totally to this new man. 

Perhaps you still need more therapy, because you are still dwelling on loving the man you can't have instead of giving your love to the guy you do have.In the meantime you should probably let him go to find a woman who is capable of giving him her love, while you get yourself straightened out.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,941
Registered: ‎03-30-2010

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

You don't have to participate in the circus Christmas has become.  If you are a Christian, meditate on the real reason we celebrate.  Give of yourself.  If you are able, help out at a church or community kitchen to feed the needy or make a donation instead of buying gifts.   If you have another belief,  spend time reading the origins and book, such as the Old Testament, the Koran, Buddhism's doctrines, etc. 

 

Wishing you peace. 

Regular Contributor
Posts: 186
Registered: ‎11-18-2018

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

[ Edited ]

My Mom would tell you that the more you give of yourself to others the more Christmas spirit you'll get back in return.Perhaps you need to get out there and give to your community. Ring bells for the Salvation army or hand out toys at a foodbank , shop for toys for Toys for tots. Do something to get out of your own head and think of others instead.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,168
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

rejection is the most painful emotion of all....many of us have been through similar experiences
have you thought about volunteering somewhere on Christmas to help those who have nothing at all? Sometimes as low as we feel, we need to be reminded that there are others even less fortunate than we are. Or try going away for the holidays..someplace tropical or very non-Christmas-y. It sounds like you didn't lose anything but negatives when he left, so count your blessings.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,630
Registered: ‎08-19-2014

Re: Can't get Xmas back in my life

@hondagirl  I’m so very sorry you’re hurting.I can’t imagine what you’re going through.Please realize that the man that you’re in love with doesn’t exist .He died the day he left you. You let him take your power when he left. 

  You need to take your power back.You are in charge of your own happiness.Consider going for therapy to hash it all out.

  Are you in love with the man in your life? If you’re not let him go.You need to heal. Surround yourself with family & friends who love you.Lean on them.Let them carry you through the holidays.

 They say living well is the best revenge.I’m sure your ex feels empowered by you being stuck in the past.Please move on & live your best life!! 💐 He doesn’t deserve your love.You deserve to be loved!!