Calling Sarahpanda

qvcfreak · ‎03-10-2010

I'm just checking in to see how you are doing. I pray that you are doing better with each day.

Don't rush and remember that everyone mourns in their own way.

Sending you hugs and continued prayers.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@sarahpanda. I think many of us have been concerned about you and hope you're feeling better.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

sarahpanda · ‎03-11-2010

@Kachina624 ...Well, ''you'' checking up on me helped to make me feel better, thank you for your concern. It's a day to day struggle, for sure - but I'm keeping very busy because of downsizing and moving to a smaller house, something that was planned and purchased over a year ago in anticipation of DH's death. If I didn't have that to occupy my mind, I think I'd be in a heapa trouble. I've had a lot of support from family and friends and that is heaven sent, for sure. It amazes me more every day to look around and see all the love that DH had for me, to provide for me after his demise...some days I have to 'pull myself up by my own bootstraps' to even get out of bed, the heartbreak is - is -....well, no word for the heartbreak. I just pray that I will be able to see him again one day and unload all of this bottled up love that has no where to go now...meanwhile, I'm going to make him proud. Thank you for asking.

sarahpanda · ‎03-11-2010

@qvcfreak Thank you so much for thinking of me. I'm struggling along,, day by day..keeping busy with ''life'' so as to not have time to focus on ''what isn't'' anymore. I hear people tell me most every day how special DH was, I always knew it but I didn't realize that he'd touched ''so many lives'', HE WAS TRULY A VERY SPECIAL MAN. I'm still 'lost', probably will be for the rest of my life but somehow, I manage to get my head off of the pillow in the mornings and face another day. It's mighty quiet though, nobody to 'see about' anymore, big void. ...but shoutout to 'GOD', because I am 100% sure that if I didn't have Him to give me peace and comfort, I wouldn't make it. Amen.

PJinIA · ‎03-21-2010

@sarahpanda Shortly after my husband passed away I felt like you are. It was a struggle to get up and face every new day without him. I looked around and everyone else was carrying on around me like nothing had happened. I was sure the world would stop turning after he died but it kept on spinning. I kept very busy too. I lived on an acreage and I spent all my time trimming and cutting down trees. No kidding, I had never used a chainsaw in my life but I got quite good at it by the end of the summer! I would break down often in tears but I knew if I didn't get back up that blackhole of depression would swallow me up. The other thing that kept me going was remembering just how hard my husband fought to beat cancer and live and he did for 3 years. I just felt it would be disrectful to him and everyone who had fought so hard to live to waste my life feeling sorry for myself. I too tried to make him proud by staying strong.

It will get better in time, I promise!

sarahpanda · ‎03-11-2010

@PJinIA Thank you so much for your message, that's exactly how I feel right now, got to keep busy..(whew)..Also, my DH fought for 4 years after his diagnosis so I know how you feel. Thank you again for your comforting words.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@sarahpanda. I'm so glad to hear you're keeping busy and feeling better. Now is the time to plan for new activities for after the new place is decorated and done.

If you get lonesome and don't have one, consider a four-legged companion. I couldn't survive without mine.

What personal satisfaction it must have given your husband to have helped plan your future without him. Such a loving, generous gesture.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

Have been thinking about you. I'm so glad to hear your keeping busy...that's a good thing.

Also, that you trust God to help you. That has gotten me through so much and I believe it will you too.

qvcfreak · ‎03-10-2010

@sarahpanda wrote:
@qvcfreak Thank you so much for thinking of me. I'm struggling along,, day by day..keeping busy with ''life'' so as to not have time to focus on ''what isn't'' anymore. I hear people tell me most every day how special DH was, I always knew it but I didn't realize that he'd touched ''so many lives'', HE WAS TRULY A VERY SPECIAL MAN. I'm still 'lost', probably will be for the rest of my life but somehow, I manage to get my head off of the pillow in the mornings and face another day. It's mighty quiet though, nobody to 'see about' anymore, big void. ...but shoutout to 'GOD', because I am 100% sure that if I didn't have Him to give me peace and comfort, I wouldn't make it. Amen.

Amen and just reading your posts, I can see how special he was. God is ever present.

Remember, even though we've never meant I am here for you, we are all here for you. Hugs

sarahpanda · ‎03-11-2010

@Kachina624 ..Generous is an understatement regarding my DH. He always 'did for others', asking and wanting nothing for himself...He 'worked' at getting things as straight as he could for so many people in anticipation of his death, it was a day to day struggle but he literally could not rest at night knowing so much needed to be completed and finalized. I've never known anyone else like him - and I doubt I ever will again.