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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,449
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

I would call my sister directly and find out what is going on. I don't like 3rd party involvement...especially when it comes to family.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,313
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

@hckynutjohn Where I am going with this is simple.  If you get calls with no message, no indication of what's going on it is bait, a lure.  Whatever it is it is not an honest attempt to communicate--if it were, they would communicate.

 

I have been victimized way too much in younger life by people who bully, guilt you, try to intimidate you, and play on your kind nature for a pass they do not deserve.

 

If someone wants to reach out, they will reach.  If it's a trap, they put out bait so you come to them and fall in.  And I'm over taking the bait from people like this.  Find another person to victimize and call you back to engage in your plan.  Ain't gonna be me or husband.  We learned the hard way from a number of folks!  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,775
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

@Meowingkitty 

 

This is your Husband’s brother, and his sister.  

You stated that your husband was in no hurry to make contact.

 

No harm intended, but to me this your husband’s decision, I don’t see that you need to do anything.

 

If you are concerned about money going out of your home,

 never to be seen again, why not talk with your about husband your fears, and move on?

 

hope it all works out 

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,313
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@CalminHeart wrote:

Your husband should call his brother. Listen. Just say no if asked for money. 


@CalminHeart To those who think this being cold or not responding, just consider this.  Why didn't the guy leave a message on the phone? Is that reaching out?  No it isn't.  It is telling.  Call me is not a message.  It is a demand.  It is one-uping the called person.  It is teasing.  It is not reaching out.  It is giving an order and putting it on the called person to "reach out."

 

I have an aunt who says "Don't pick up a snake."  Good advice.  

Valued Contributor
Posts: 580
Registered: ‎12-17-2021

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@Love my grandkids wrote:

@Meowingkitty Oh my goodness what does your husband have to lose by calling? Maybe 5 minutes of his time? It may be about their sister, it may not. But he will never know if he doesn't call. And like them or not, he will wonder for years what happened.

 

If it's about money, he can just say no. And it just MAY be something your husband should know. It won't kill him to make a call. Right now it's all just speculation.


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,266
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@Sooner wrote:

@CalminHeart wrote:

Your husband should call his brother. Listen. Just say no if asked for money. 


@CalminHeart To those who think this being cold or not responding, just consider this.  Why didn't the guy leave a message on the phone? Is that reaching out?  No it isn't.  It is telling.  Call me is not a message.  It is a demand.  It is one-uping the called person.  It is teasing.  It is not reaching out.  It is giving an order and putting it on the called person to "reach out."

 

I have an aunt who says "Don't pick up a snake."  Good advice.  


 

OP said they haven't heard from the sister or brother in 25 years. Why now? Perhaps their sister died and he just wants to tell them. If they don't want to know of family deaths, so be it. Or maybe he wants money. I really don't care. I know how to say no.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,543
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

write back and say what do you want? nothing else.

 

wish we could get an update on this. just curious.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,661
Registered: ‎06-07-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

If he can't tell you the reason, I'd wouldn't call him back.  Sounds lilke a ploy to me.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,751
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?

@Meowingkitty   25 to 30 yrs. is a very long time. People do change sometimes given so many years. For me personally, I would not want to go to my grave never knowing whether somebody in my family had gotten their life together or not.  There is so much we don't know after that many years of no contact. I would want to put my mind at ease so I would  return the call and take it from there. If you sense it's all wrong you are not obligated in any way.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,313
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@jubilant wrote:

@Meowingkitty   25 to 30 yrs. is a very long time. People do change sometimes given so many years. For me personally, I would not want to go to my grave never knowing whether somebody in my family had gotten their life together or not.  There is so much we don't know after that many years of no contact. I would want to put my mind at ease so I would  return the call and take it from there. If you sense it's all wrong you are not obligated in any way.  


@jubilant There's relatives, there's DNA, and there is family.  They aren't all the same and they aren't the same for everyone. Some people have heartbreaking families.  

 

It breaks my heart some of the stories I read here. . .