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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,253
Registered: ‎06-21-2011

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@chrystaltree wrote:
You are really obsessed with money and terrified that your husband might reconnect with his family. It's your husbands decision, not yours. If he wants to know why the brother is calling, he should act like an adult and return the call. If he doesn't care, he should still return the call and tell his brother that he wants no contact with any of them so please do not call again. If he hasn't spoken to them in 30 years, it's highly unlikely they want money. Perhaps the sister is hospitalized or terminally ill.



That's certainly a thought......

Respected Contributor
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Registered: ‎06-21-2011

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@LizzieInSRQ wrote:

The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference


Yes, what you said IS, IS, IS true.  I found this out in my life.  It was a cold, hard slap in the face.

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Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@hckynutjohn wrote:

@Meowingkitty wrote:

My husbands brother has been trying to contact him regarding his sister. My husband has had no contact with either his sister or brother in probably 25-30 years. He left us a message and sent us a letter but neither one gave us any indication as to what he might want. Just "call me it's about our sister" Considering his past record the only time this guy calls is to try to get money from us so we’re pretty sure he wants money for something. All we know it’s regarding his sister. She’s quite a bit older so it might be money for health care nurses, heck, he might even think she could move in here with us so we could take care of her. That is a H*** No.  What would you do? My husband is in no hurry to call him because we know he wants something and it’s never good. He is getting ready to retire next year or sooner if he gets irritated enough and we know if we give him money we’ll never see a dime of it again. My husband has really had nothing to do with his family for over 40 years other than a very occasional card at Christmas and even those stopped years ago.

 

 

 

 

@Meowingkitty 

 

Myself I don't follow the avoidance thing. Like I have done in everything else in my adult life, and prior! 

 

Hear what he wants to talk about and if it is something you want no part of being involved? In no uncertain terms or words, give him your answer.

 

Why people are so hesitant to tell anyone face to face, or via any other communication available, exactly how they feel?  There are straight forward and tactful ways to say no. And to someone, family or friend, that has no interest in connecting for 25-30 years? Would be that much easier for many.

 

Speak up!

 

 

hckynut 🇺🇸


 


Well, I can answer that.  While I'm waiting for the hot water...because NO ONE wants to be the "BAD GUY"...... dats why... Smiley Happy

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Registered: ‎06-21-2011

Re: Brother-in-law wants something and it’s usually money. What would you do?


@50Mickey wrote:

I find all of this fighting and bitterness towards one's siblings very sad. The OP said nothing about the sister to indicate that she is a bad person. She said the sister is quite a bid older. Maybe she is dying and wants to speak to her brother one last time.How cold hearted to refuse to even ask what is going on with the sister. Why assume that the sister needs money for health care or wants to move in?

I have said this before. I had ony one sibling ,a sister. She died at age 61. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her and miss her. I would give all my worldly goods to have her back. I understand that not all siblings are close but what I can't understand is the idea that one would not even make a phone call to ask about the sister because of a fear that she needs money. 


Well, yes, you are right.  We ALL should not be cold hearted and I believe this is good in everyone.  It's just that no one wants to be used as a door mat.  Many take kindness for weakness.  I have two sisters who were thick as thieves but booted me out of their lives.  I mean, at least TELL ME why you are treating me like a leper.  I did nothing to them.  NEVER asked for anything.  Just wanted to be friends.  Now, after decades, the one wants to talk about our imaginary friendship.  I spoke with her.  She was VERY guilty and admitted how lousy I was treated and I told her I forgave her but it's just that now, I don't feel comfortable talking to her.  There's nothing there to talk about.  She wants to be buddy buddy and take up a lot of time that I just haven't got.  She should have done that years ago.....I did forgive her though.  Now, I'm on her you know what list so, well so be it.  I'll email her if she doesn't answer well....that's the way it goes.