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09-09-2021 06:43 PM
@mom2four0418 , You should bring a gift to the bridal shower. And when you go to the wedding, you bring a wedding card with a check in the card to cover the meal cost for you and your guest. This has been standard for a long time here in New York.
09-09-2021 07:13 PM
My understanding is that onr may invite people to the bridal shower who may not be receiving an invitation to their wedding as there are many who for financial reasons put a cap on how many they can accommodate. Having both registries , help the couple receive many more gifts . If I have been invited to the wedding , than I have given a gift from their registery or I have given cash. If I am also invited to the bridal shower than I have bought a smaller less expensive gift or cash .
09-09-2021 07:17 PM
@skatting44 wrote:My understanding is that onr may invite people to the bridal shower who may not be receiving an invitation to their wedding as there are many who for financial reasons put a cap on how many they can accommodate. Having both registries , help the couple receive many more gifts . If I have been invited to the wedding , than I have given a gift from their registery or I have given cash. If I am also invited to the bridal shower than I have bought a smaller less expensive gift or cash .
If you aren't being to the wedding then an invite to the shower is a no-no. That really is a gift grab to do something like that.
09-09-2021 07:38 PM
@mom2four0418 wrote:
@Meowingkitty wrote:Probably just another money or gift grab.
So you don't bring a present to the bridal shower?
Haven't been to a baby or bridal shower in decades. But when I did, yes I brought a gift.
09-09-2021 09:16 PM - edited 09-09-2021 09:17 PM
@skatting44 wrote:My understanding is that onr may invite people to the bridal shower who may not be receiving an invitation to their wedding as there are many who for financial reasons put a cap on how many they can accommodate. Having both registries , help the couple receive many more gifts . If I have been invited to the wedding , than I have given a gift from their registery or I have given cash. If I am also invited to the bridal shower than I have bought a smaller less expensive gift or cash .
It's customary in our family/circle of friends that if you are not being invited to the wedding, you are not invited to the shower.
I have received invitations to weddings where I was not invited to the shower for whatever reason.
09-09-2021 10:13 PM
I am not familiar with having a specific shower registry. The term bridal or wedding registry is what I see. I use wedding registry to select shower and wedding gifts. They are both gifts for the couple.
09-10-2021 01:12 AM
The times that I was invited to a bridal shower but not the wedding has been when it was someone that I worked with . There are many times that people who work with someone may be invited to a bridal shower along with the bride to be's family but are not invited to a wedding . Not everyone is so rich that they can invite everyone to a wedding that may cost $100-$200 per plate for a wedding reception that they consider a friend or a colleague.
09-10-2021 08:29 AM
@withaK Thank you for posting this. Great ideas. I can see why this lovely gesture gave you so much pleasure. Maybe I could slip something into my gift like this. I'm thinking of a small photo album of my grandson growing up. I have some really cute pictures that I think would bring smiles to her face.
09-10-2021 08:33 AM
@CelticCrafter wrote:
@jubilant wrote:From everyone's posts, I'm thinking it depends on where you live or family traditions. I had no idea there were so many! We have always shown up at showers with a gift but I have never received a bridal shower invitation with a registry mentioned....until now. It was just a known thing that you would take a gift. It has always been a fun part of the shower to watch the "bride to be" open her gifts. At least where I live that's the way it has always been seen.
For weddings we do appreciate the registry. It sure does simplify things. As I said before, if it's a grandchild getting married we figure they will need the money. Around my neck of the woods, they don't open gifts at the reception like we did in our day. That was 52 yrs. ago in our case. Things seemed less complicated in those days. Still, I guess I need to get with the program. Some changes are good and maybe even necessary these days.
@jubilant check the invite, somewhere in small print it may say "Be a Dear and wrap in clear".
The last two I was invited to said that. All they want to do is open the card and say "oh so and so gave me....."
@CelticCrafter That's a great idea!
09-10-2021 09:08 AM
I know my post was about bridal registry but I thought I would mention that, one of the positives of bridal showers, at least for me, was getting to know his family a little better. We eventually bought a home in the little town DH was from. Most of his relatives at the shower lived in that town or the surrounding area. While my grandparents had a farm outside of that town, it was nice to see other faces that I recognized.
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