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Regular Contributor
Posts: 237
Registered: ‎07-07-2013

@mom2four0418 ,  You should bring a gift to the bridal shower.  And when you go to the wedding, you bring a wedding card with a check in the card to cover the meal cost for you and your guest.  This has been standard for a long time here in New York.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,520
Registered: ‎07-26-2019

My understanding is that onr may invite people to the bridal shower who may not be receiving an invitation to their wedding  as there are many who for financial reasons put a cap on how many they can accommodate.  Having both registries , help the couple receive many more gifts .  If I have been invited to the wedding , than I have given a gift from their registery or I have given  cash.  If I am also invited to the bridal shower than I have bought a smaller less expensive  gift  or cash .

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@Skatting 22 wrote:

My understanding is that onr may invite people to the bridal shower who may not be receiving an invitation to their wedding  as there are many who for financial reasons put a cap on how many they can accommodate.  Having both registries , help the couple receive many more gifts .  If I have been invited to the wedding , than I have given a gift from their registery or I have given  cash.  If I am also invited to the bridal shower than I have bought a smaller less expensive  gift  or cash .


If you aren't being to the wedding then an invite to the shower is a no-no.  That really is a gift grab to do something like that.

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Registered: ‎06-19-2010

@mom2four0418 wrote:

@Meowingkitty wrote:

Probably just another money or gift grab.

 

 

So you don't bring a present to the bridal shower?


Haven't been to a baby or bridal shower in decades. But when I did, yes I brought a gift.

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Posts: 12,578
Registered: ‎11-03-2018

Re: Bridal Shower Registry

[ Edited ]

@Skatting 22 wrote:

My understanding is that onr may invite people to the bridal shower who may not be receiving an invitation to their wedding  as there are many who for financial reasons put a cap on how many they can accommodate.  Having both registries , help the couple receive many more gifts .  If I have been invited to the wedding , than I have given a gift from their registery or I have given  cash.  If I am also invited to the bridal shower than I have bought a smaller less expensive  gift  or cash .


It's customary in our family/circle of friends that if you are not being invited to the wedding, you are not invited to the shower.

 

I have received invitations to weddings where I was not invited to the shower for whatever reason.  

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Registered: ‎04-03-2016

I am not familiar with having a specific shower registry.  The term bridal or wedding registry is what I see.  I use wedding registry to select shower and wedding gifts.  They are both gifts for the couple.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,520
Registered: ‎07-26-2019

The times that I was invited to a bridal shower but not the wedding has been when it was someone that I worked with . There are many times that people who work with someone may be invited to a bridal shower along with the bride to be's family but are not  invited to a wedding . Not everyone is so rich that they can invite everyone to a wedding that may cost $100-$200   per plate  for a wedding reception  that  they consider a friend or a colleague.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,660
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

@withaK   Thank you for posting this. Great ideas. I can see why this lovely gesture gave you so much pleasure. Maybe I could slip something into my gift like this.  I'm thinking of a small photo album of my grandson growing up.  I have some really cute pictures that I think would bring smiles to her face.

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

@jubilant wrote:

From everyone's posts, I'm thinking it depends on where you live or family traditions.  I had no idea there were so many!  We have always shown up at showers with a gift but I have never received a bridal shower invitation with a registry mentioned....until now.   It was just a known thing that you would take a gift.  It has always been a fun part of the shower to watch the "bride to be" open her gifts. At least where I live that's the way it has always been seen.

 

 For weddings we do appreciate the registry.  It sure does simplify things.   As I said before, if it's a grandchild getting married we figure they will need the money.   Around my neck of the woods, they don't open gifts at the reception like we did in our day.  That was 52 yrs. ago in our case.  Things seemed less complicated in those days.  Still, I guess I need to get with the program.  Some changes are good and maybe even necessary these days.  


@jubilant check the invite, somewhere in small print it may say "Be a Dear and wrap in clear".  

The last two I was invited to said that.  All they want to do is open the card and say "oh so and so gave me....."

 


@CelticCrafter  That's a great idea!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,660
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

I know my post was about bridal registry but I thought I would mention that, one of the positives of bridal showers, at least for me, was getting to know his family a little better.   We eventually bought a home in the little town DH was from. Most of his relatives at the shower lived in that town or the surrounding area. While my grandparents had a farm outside of that town, it was nice to see other faces  that I recognized.