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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,865
Registered: ‎05-05-2010

I have never noticed a distinction between "wedding registry" and "wedding shower registry".  I always assumed they were interchangeable and used for either or both.  In my neck of the woods, if you were invited to the wedding shower and did not attend or give a gift, you were left off the wedding invitation list.  It is always "assumed" that you gift for both occasions.  A gift from the registry is typically purchased for the shower, and a gift of $$ is given with a card at the wedding.  Although it's a very nice/special gesture, who wants to bother shlepping wrapped gifts home from the wedding reception?

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 120
Registered: ‎10-19-2012

"In my neck of the woods, if you were invited to the wedding shower and did not attend or give a gift, you were left off the wedding invitation list. "

 

That sounds kind of harsh.  Are people aware of that rule or do they learn by surprise.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,865
Registered: ‎05-05-2010

@lg fan wrote:

"In my neck of the woods, if you were invited to the wedding shower and did not attend or give a gift, you were left off the wedding invitation list. "

 

That sounds kind of harsh.  Are people aware of that rule or do they learn by surprise.


Good question, I really don't know.  My mother explained it to me many, many years ago.  Perhaps she was misinformed, but it makes sense.  If you cannot attend the shower, you still send a gift/card.  Otherwise, the bride's family can assume that you are not interested in attending the wedding. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,781
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Bridal showers have been around for a long time, usually the maid of honor hosts the shower but now, anything goes.

 

If registered a good source is The Knot and that helps what kind of gifts to send..  Usually for a shower, I send money but for a wedding, I send a "registered" gift.

 

Some of the time for bridal showers, her closest friends get together and give a great wedding night lingerie item.  I also saw some robes that have "bride" embroidered on them that she wears while getting ready for the ceremony.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,344
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: Bridal Shower Registry

[ Edited ]

From everyone's posts, I'm thinking it depends on where you live or family traditions.  I had no idea there were so many!  We have always shown up at showers with a gift but I have never received a bridal shower invitation with a registry mentioned....until now.   It was just a known thing that you would take a gift.  It has always been a fun part of the shower to watch the "bride to be" open her gifts. At least where I live that's the way it has always been seen.

 

 For weddings we do appreciate the registry.  It sure does simplify things.   As I said before, if it's a grandchild getting married we figure they will need the money.   Around my neck of the woods, they don't open gifts at the reception like we did in our day.  That was 52 yrs. ago in our case.  Things seemed less complicated in those days.  Still, I guess I need to get with the program.  Some changes are good and maybe even necessary these days.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,344
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: Bridal Shower Registry

[ Edited ]

@Just Bling wrote:

Bridal showers have been around for a long time, usually the maid of honor hosts the shower but now, anything goes.

 

If registered a good source is The Knot and that helps what kind of gifts to send..  Usually for a shower, I send money but for a wedding, I send a "registered" gift.

 

Some of the time for bridal showers, her closest friends get together and give a great wedding night lingerie item.  I also saw some robes that have "bride" embroidered on them that she wears while getting ready for the ceremony.

 

  


Yes, that's the way it was in my family.  Usually the maid of honor, good friend, or an aunt from both sides gave a shower.  In my case, one of my  bridesmaids (who was my best friend)  gave me one, then an aunt of mine gave me another,  and an aunt of DH's yet another.  My grandmothers and mother were invited to all three.

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,706
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@jubilant wrote:

From everyone's posts, I'm thinking it depends on where you live or family traditions.  I had no idea there were so many!  We have always shown up at showers with a gift but I have never received a bridal shower invitation with a registry mentioned....until now.   It was just a known thing that you would take a gift.  It has always been a fun part of the shower to watch the "bride to be" open her gifts. At least where I live that's the way it has always been seen.

 

 For weddings we do appreciate the registry.  It sure does simplify things.   As I said before, if it's a grandchild getting married we figure they will need the money.   Around my neck of the woods, they don't open gifts at the reception like we did in our day.  That was 52 yrs. ago in our case.  Things seemed less complicated in those days.  Still, I guess I need to get with the program.  Some changes are good and maybe even necessary these days.  


@jubilant check the invite, somewhere in small print it may say "Be a Dear and wrap in clear".  

The last two I was invited to said that.  All they want to do is open the card and say "oh so and so gave me....."

 

Super Contributor
Posts: 408
Registered: ‎01-28-2016

When DH and I married 25 years ago we had a gift registry.....IIRC it was called a Bridal registry and anything on it was either a shower or wedding gift "suggestion".....I am from the east coast so money is a typical wedding gift.

 

Recently I have seen Wedding Gift Registries that are usually for big $$$ things like the honeymoon.

Super Contributor
Posts: 408
Registered: ‎01-28-2016

How lovely !!!   I am sure there is something personal you can give. DH's grandmother had made me a blanket "for your very own". (all colors I love) and gave me a framed photo of him when he was five or so as well as my "something old" an irish linen handkerchief that she tatted the lace for. It was so thought ful and heartfelt as my grandmothers died when I was a small child and my other died well before I was born

Valued Contributor
Posts: 996
Registered: ‎01-15-2017

I live in the Pittsburgh area, and around here the Bridal shower and the wedding are two separate entities. So if you go to the shower you bring a gift, if you go to the wedding you bring another gift.  Around here most people give money for the wedding. I was married 33 years ago and I had a Bridal registry. It sounds to me like it's regional how the shower/wedding thing is handled.