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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Try not to take it personally. 5 emotional stages of grief and your friend was desperate. I had a ruined beach vacation when I offered to distract a friend from her grief and invite her to change her environment. I think you made the right decision. Often, being too helpful is not always the answer. 

  • denial.
  • anger.
  • bargaining.
  • depression.
  • acceptance.

  

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,481
Registered: ‎05-08-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:

I just want to thank all of you ladies and gent for your kind words.  I agree that the trio of women are acting like mean high school girls rather than mature women . 

I have decided that when I come in contact with any of them I will be cordial, but the friendships have terminated in my book. I do not need the drama or people like this in my life.   

This woman still lives in her teens. two years ago she invited about 10 women over to announce an important occasion. Well, when we all got there she left the room for a few minutes and when she returned she was naked from the waist up! Her announcement was to show us her boob job LOL. Glad she did not have a butt tuck !

Time to move on, I have other friendships!



@Calcgirl wrote:

I just want to thank all of you ladies and gent for your kind words.  I agree that the trio of women are acting like mean high school girls rather than mature women . 

I have decided that when I come in contact with any of them I will be cordial, but the friendships have terminated in my book. I do not need the drama or people like this in my life.   

This woman still lives in her teens. two years ago she invited about 10 women over to announce an important occasion. Well, when we all got there she left the room for a few minutes and when she returned she was naked from the waist up! Her announcement was to show us her boob job LOL. Glad she did not have a butt tuck !

Time to move on, I have other friendships!


If you had included this piece of info in your OP, @Calcgirl , I doubt most posters would've taken the time and trouble to respond.  The woman is obviously painfully immature and insecure.  Can't imagine what kind of a friendship you could've possibly had with her.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,199
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

He broke up with her...does not want her anymore..what difference does the reason make.  If she finds out it is another woman it won't change anything.  If she finds out it is another woman then she will want to know everything about her and why he chose her....As far as your friends snubbing you...they were not friends...I used to put a lot of value on friendship but I found it is usually a one way street...as long as you go the way they want you are a friend.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,417
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I think you did the right thing, sounds like your friends are acting like teens.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,726
Registered: ‎05-18-2017

He wanted her to relocate with him and she didn't.   She has no one to blame but herself.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 526
Registered: ‎03-09-2010
Generally I would say to stay out of it, but since the boyfriend is a very good friend of the OP, I see nothing wrong with her asking him what happened. However I would also tell him that she asked me to talk to him. Then I would try to talk him into explaining the complete truth to her, as to why he broke up with her. She has every right to hear the truth coming from his own mouth.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 526
Registered: ‎03-09-2010
Also, long distance relationships rarely work out. Since she refused to relocate with him, she should’ve expected this sooner or later. It’s not surprising.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,805
Registered: ‎06-13-2011

Since I don't know this woman I can only surmise that she is not really that upset about losing him as much as losing him to another woman.  She sounds terribly insecure and unable to deal with the fact that she is getting older.   Inviting friends over and showing them her recent surgical procedure is an extremely childish act.  When you are over 65 years of age and your whole focus is just to look better than any other woman that is such a pathetic person. 

 

You mentioned several times about how she seems to be overly obsessed with how her body looks.  We have all been concerned about the health troubles a former QVC host is now going through. When you compare what AN is going through to that of being so focused on your looks that you can't accept that you are no longer a young woman and just enjoy the fact that you are healthy and still alive.  That is truly the perfect example of a very shallow person.

 

Certainly we should all strive to look our best and being older isn't a reason that we should let ourselves go but sooner or later we all have to accept that we aren't 25 years of age any longer and we should feel comfortable in our own skin.  

 

Obviously this gentleman cared enough for her to encourage her to move along with him.  If she chose not to then whatever he does now is no longer a concern of hers.  

 

I have to agree with another poster who stated why would you even want to be friends with this woman.  She sounds like she just uses her friends to boost her own ego.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,478
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

@desertDi wrote:

Airline pilot mandatory retirement age is 65,     Maybe he wasn't "transferred"...........


@desertDi   My first thought, too.

 

The OP did the right thing.

 

The rest is high school drama.

""Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." -Rumi
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,478
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

@Calcgirl wrote:

I just want to thank all of you ladies and gent for your kind words.  I agree that the trio of women are acting like mean high school girls rather than mature women . 

I have decided that when I come in contact with any of them I will be cordial, but the friendships have terminated in my book. I do not need the drama or people like this in my life.   

This woman still lives in her teens. two years ago she invited about 10 women over to announce an important occasion. Well, when we all got there she left the room for a few minutes and when she returned she was naked from the waist up! Her announcement was to show us her boob job LOL. Glad she did not have a butt tuck !

Time to move on, I have other friendships!


@Calcgirl   Or a bikini/Brazilian wax. 

 

 

""Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." -Rumi