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Valued Contributor
Posts: 977
Registered: ‎07-13-2021

I think it's a gracious and beautiful thing that the OP plans to eat something before she goes to the hotel, not complain, and keep the peace. ♥

 

I had a dear friend who would offer to cook dinner for me and my BF, and after we arrived, she would say, "I'll be back, I have to run to the grocery store" - Almost EVERY time.

 

Drove me bonkers!!!

 

However, besides that little quirk of hers, we loved hanging out with this couple and did so almost every weekend for years.

 

Boyfriend and I learned early on to either bring or grab a snack before we got to their house, so we wouldn't be "Hangry" while waiting for her to prepare a meal. Smiley Wink

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,131
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

People who have family are darned lucky to have them.  Is it REALLY worth  being upset because dinner is late?  Take some food and eat and have a good time.

 

I'm never irritated by what my family does because they are all gone.  I won't have the privilege again, unfortunately.  Just saying, don't forget what is really important in life.  And what are really blessings.  Relax and enjoy life--make wonderful memories with the kids and they remember you as the happy and loving person you are.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,612
Registered: ‎10-19-2012

@Sooner wrote:

People who have family are darned lucky to have them.  Is it REALLY worth  being upset because dinner is late?  Take some food and eat and have a good time.

 

I'm never irritated by what my family does because they are all gone.  I won't have the privilege again, unfortunately.  Just saying, don't forget what is really important in life.  And what are really blessings.  Relax and enjoy life--make wonderful memories with the kids and they remember you as the happy and loving person you are.  


 

 

I agree with you.  Some people are just looking for any excuse to cut themselves off from family.  The stepdaughter sounds like she is one of those people.  If the OP doesn't see her that often she should just keep the peace and go along with the stepdaughter.  In the long run it is not worth getting stressed over the situation.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,551
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@BoopOMatic    I wish it was that easy.  I have been in a similar situation with my step daughter, who I like but does things differently than I/we do at home.

 

I feel when we are vising step daughters family that I want my husband to enjoy his daughter (he rarely sees her) so I just do my best to go with the flo.  I sure don't want to argue about the visit one we are back home.

 

I encourage him to visit without me, he has a couple of times but he is older now and would not feel comfortable traveling alone, and even the plane trip now would be a lot of sitting for him.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,217
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

@Desert Lily wrote:

I don't understand the anger over her working & getting dinner later. Yikes.

 

I don't understand it either.  I had to read her original post twice and I still didn't see a problem.  I think she just doesn't care much for her husband's daughter.  When I visit my own daughter, I always take snacks and munchies with me because I like things she won't have.  


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,584
Registered: ‎05-18-2017

Re: Bit of a family issue

[ Edited ]

@KittySoftPaws wrote:

@fairydogmother  No offense, but you are way too nice. This would have only happened once with me, and that would be the last time. You obviously see the problem, your hubby does not. This is a problem of his daughter's and I would not be party to it again and if he chooses too then he would eat without me there. That sends a loud and clear message without confrontation if that is how you choose to do it. You teach people how to treat you and this is not good or respectful treatment. I personally would tell her in a direct and diplomatic way that this is not how we do things and I won't be waiting. You can meet in the middle if you choose also, but don't enable this behaviour or accept it, because by doing so you are disrespcting yourself. Trust me, you will feel better about yourself and both she and your husband will respect you for it.  Otherwise, you are just setting yourself up for more of the same, that complaining about on here won't fix.


I don't agree with this post especially "this is not how we do things and I won't be waiting".  Wow-  what an attitude.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,861
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

we went, had a good time and are now home. My stepdaughter had decided not to work today so she made a nice dinner which we ate around 6:30. Earlier in the afternoon we went down to the bar, had appetizers then we went to the arcade. 
All is well. 


Harmonize the World
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,861
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Bit of a family issue

[ Edited ]

@Sooner wrote:

People who have family are darned lucky to have them.  Is it REALLY worth  being upset because dinner is late?  Take some food and eat and have a good time.

 

I'm never irritated by what my family does because they are all gone.  I won't have the privilege again, unfortunately.  Just saying, don't forget what is really important in life.  And what are really blessings.  Relax and enjoy life--make wonderful memories with the kids and they remember you as the happy and loving person you are.  

 


I have my husband, my daughter who I see once a year because she lives abroad, my grandson (my late son's boy) who lives 1200 miles away, and two cousins. That's it. My son, my only sibling and both parents died untimely deaths. So I am well aware of what's important in life. 
Actually today is the anniversary of my sister's death. 


Harmonize the World
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,250
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@fairydogmother Glad it worked out well.  I had to laugh because I've had similar experiences where I have to be somewhere and I'm thinking oh, no, that doesn't work for me and then after all the thought I put into how to handle it, it turns out perfectly! 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 993
Registered: ‎06-14-2018
@fairydogmother - Nothing wrong with how you feel. Your feelings are your feelings. Everyone gets frustrated with family at times. I think it’s very normal to be anxious about certain situations and often times they end up working out just fine, as I’m glad yours did.