Among Friends

[Mom2Dogs]

Thanks everyone...my idea is to keep it low key, her two sisters seem to want to do 'more'.

She is a lot like me...I would not want much attention paid to me and I know she is not a spa girl....maybe a pedi or manicure but not a massage.

One of them wanted to do an open house at a restaurant and I nixed that idea.... I would be a puddle on the floor and I know she would too!

My friend is staying VERY BUSY...we sort of laugh about it because we  never know which one of us she will call and want to run...she does not work, the rest of us do, but we do our best to be there for her and I think we have done a good job, but none of us know what she is going thru....way to young (early 60's) to be a widow.

[Mom2Dogs]

I found this quote....it can be laser cut into a piece of metal....

any thoughts, is it to soon for something like this, he passed the end of december.  I like the words but my first instinct was sounds like she is being pushed, that is the last thing I want to do.   Generally I go with my first instinct but thought I would ask.

Surrender to what is

Let go of what was

Have faith in what will be 

[Sooner]

First of all, PLEASE ask her what she would like and follow her wishes!  Maybe something like restaurant gift cards a meal for two from each of you for her to call you and say let's have lunch and use this! That way it is her choice when she needs a day out.

I would simply hate a spa date, slumber party, weekend or any kind of forced activity especially at this time.  Don't burden her with not disappointing her friends.

[Mom2Dogs]

@kitcat51, I am so very sorry for your loss.

[chrystaltree]

I think I wouldn't plan anything big and wild and yahoo.  Whether she shows it outwardly or not, she's still grieving and this will be her first birthday without her husband.  It will be hard for her.  I would stick with what you usually do to celebrate your birthdays.  She expects that, she'll be prepared for that.

[Mominohio]

I don't think I'd plan anything without a talk with her first. 

She may be in a whole different place this year, than she has ever been about holidays and celebrations. 

She may seem to be coping well, but may not be or at least not a certain times. 

The last thing you would want to do is make her feel obligated to participate in some 'big' thing everyone cooked up with excitement and love, when she isn't feeling it or just wants to be left low key for right now.

[Desertdi]

I would keep the tradition of the "usual lunch"

[Mom2Dogs]

@Desertdi...that is just what I told her sisters....hopefully they take my suggestion....but one of them is pretty strong willed.

[LTT1]

I vote with the ones that suggest doing “the usual.”💚💗
During the coming year, if you sense a good time when she is up to having a conversation about a “new” idea, you can discuss ...this might prepare her better for a change of venue!❤️

[kitcat51]

---

@Mom2Dogs wrote:

@kitcat51, I am so very sorry for your loss.

---

Thank you. Sending you a hug for being a caring friend & I wish your friend peace.