Among Friends

[Bird mama]

@mousiegirl  for years when I was on my own with birds no rehabbers or vets valued I felt so alone and scared.  This has been the worse veterinarian experience in my lifetime and I can't blame it on pandemic protocols.  If I could turn back time to August 20th I would have said, well I think we need to take a break and if I think Francis needs to see you I will call you.  I have so much regret I can't even describe it.  

When he went for follow up testing the tech said he would need antibiotics before and after surgery.  I told her that I was almost out of the antibiotics they gave me on July 22nd.  I said I would bring the bottle and could see.  She said you were given 6 weeks of doses - it was carefully measured.  I said I know and if I was as proficient as you are with dosing birds orally maybe I could have made it last.  I admit doses got wasted when I was getting the hang of the syringe.  She says bring the bottle.  We're having this discussion in an effin parking lot and I hand her the bottle (my sister was in the car).  She refuses to look at the bottle and says you were given 6 weeks of antibiotic I can't give you more.

So I bought liquid enrofloxican.  Because it's bitter I bought a bottle of cherry compounding syrup.  I wanted it on hand in case they held back medication. The vet did give me more.  They told me to irrigate with saline and didn't sell me the irrigation solution so I bought cans of NeilMed wounwash which one can covered two treatments.  I sprayed it in a glass bowl and then used a syringe.  When they gave me the tiny tube os silver sulfadiazine I thought this is not going to be enough for the large wound, how can't they see that.

I found the prescription strength silver sulfadiazine online where I didn't need an RX.  I was so panicked I wouldn't have what I needed.  The 50 gram jar of silver sulfadiazine was delivered today.  I tried to cancel the cases of USP .9% sodium chloride irrigation solution and additional syringes that I ordered on Sunday.  I think they missed the cancellation request I sent on Monday.

My bird is dead and all of the supplies are piling up.  It would be funny if it wasn't so flippin sad.  I was better off with veterinarian help all those years and I have the old birds to prove it.  Peewee my female sparrow died at 9 years 9 days old - too young in my opinion.  Her brother Poppi died a couple of weeks short of his 13th birthday.  Grayson is 12, Presto is 8 and Finley is 5.  

[mousiegirl]

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@Bird mama wrote:

@mousiegirl  for years when I was on my own with birds no rehabbers or vets valued I felt so alone and scared.  This has been the worse veterinarian experience in my lifetime and I can't blame it on pandemic protocols.  If I could turn back time to August 20th I would have said, well I think we need to take a break and if I think Francis needs to see you I will call you.  I have so much regret I can't even describe it.  

When he went for follow up testing the tech said he would need antibiotics before and after surgery.  I told her that I was almost out of the antibiotics they gave me on July 22nd.  I said I would bring the bottle and could see.  She said you were given 6 weeks of doses - it was carefully measured.  I said I know and if I was as proficient as you are with dosing birds orally maybe I could have made it last.  I admit doses got wasted when I was getting the hang of the syringe.  She says bring the bottle.  We're having this discussion in an effin parking lot and I hand her the bottle (my sister was in the car).  She refuses to look at the bottle and says you were given 6 weeks of antibiotic I can't give you more.

So I bought liquid enrofloxican.  Because it's bitter I bought a bottle of cherry compounding syrup.  I wanted it on hand in case they held back medication. The vet did give me more.  They told me to irrigate with saline and didn't sell me the irrigation solution so I bought cans of NeilMed wounwash which one can covered two treatments.  I sprayed it in a glass bowl and then used a syringe.  When they gave me the tiny tube os silver sulfadiazine I thought this is not going to be enough for the large wound, how can't they see that.

I found the prescription strength silver sulfadiazine online where I didn't need an RX.  I was so panicked I wouldn't have what I needed.  The 50 gram jar of silver sulfadiazine was delivered today.  I tried to cancel the cases of USP .9% sodium chloride irrigation solution and additional syringes that I ordered on Sunday.  I think they missed the cancellation request I sent on Monday.

My bird is dead and all of the supplies are piling up.  It would be funny if it wasn't so flippin sad.  I was better off with veterinarian help all those years and I have the old birds to prove it.  Peewee my female sparrow died at 9 years 9 days old - too young in my opinion.  Her brother Poppi died a couple of weeks short of his 13th birthday.  Grayson is 12, Presto is 8 and Finley is 5.  

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@Bird mama   Don't beat yourself up, I have done that to myself thinking I should have known, etc., you did the best you could with what you had, not all vets handle birds, I imagine.  You are right, you have all of your birds to prove that you are the best bird mama ever. 

I still think about one of my dogs, and one cat, where I should have known better, and just told the vet it was time to let go, but I expected to be told that, and when I wasn't, I brought them home, the dog with instructions to feed her rice that evening, which was totally wrong of the vet to tell me.  She had a benign stomach tumor and the x-ray that day showed her stomach was full, so he should have told me right then that it was time, but because he didn't, I had hope, dumb in retrospect.  These were two different instances with the cat and dog. We rushed my dog to ER, quite a distance from home, and by the time we got there, she had died, spent a long while in the bathroom there.

I still cry over this and it has been over thirty years for the cat, and almost as many years for my dog.  

My cat died at home a day after I had taken her in, again this could have been avoided as I could have let her go in the office that day if I was told to snap me out of denial.  I never made these mistakes again.  I was on top of my pet's conditions and let go at the right time without unnecessary delay.

[possummink]

[possummink]

[possummink]

[viva923]

hey all

posted a long story on summer at the shore thread in among friends, to long to keep repeating.

not much else guys. later.

[geezerette]

@Bird mama 

I have to agree with @mousiegirl's sentiments--try not to beat yourself up over it.  But I suspect you will.  I think any of us that love and care for any animals play the "What if/If only" game.  But you had asked questions, argued, begged and pleaded.  What else were you supposed to do?  

You were in a position that required more expertise than you have.  If Francis had only had an infection, you probably could have nursed him through that by yourself.  But with a broken wing, you knew it needed amputation and that wasn't something you could do.  So you did the best you could and found someone who could help, which was a major feat in itself since veterinarians that treat birds are few and far between, let alone those that would take on a wild bird.  If you had a dog or cat you could have simply found another veterinarian that you were more comfortable with.  That wasn't possible in this situation.

The thing is, from what you've written, it sounds like (and this is just my opinion here) that they didn't really want to deal with just a backyard bird.  Oh, I suspect if Francis had been some kind of exotic and expensive parrot you would have been treated differently.  Of course you'll never know.

As a person of faith, you can hold on to the knowledge that things happen for a reason, sometimes despite everything we can do otherwise.  As a person of compassion, you know you allowed Francis a more comfortable life while you had him than what he would have experienced in the wild, which certainly wouldn't have been a good one with his injuries.

My one last thought is that you mentioned the emergency vet was a good one.  I'm wondering if he/she would be able to recommend another wild bird vet in your vicinity for future use, or if that vet would be willing to treat your other birds if necessary.

I'm sure that just like @possummink now after losing little Moose and all of us that have lost an animal, your daily routine is much different now.  It's good that your sister is there for you to share your emotions with.

💔🙏🕊❤️

[geezerette]

@viva923 

I have to say if I were in your position and my "friend" turned on me like that, I'd tell her you didn't want the furniture.  It sounds like a situation that could turn ugly.  I'm not sure it would be worth getting the furniture if she caused you problems.

Good luck!

[yock]

So sorry Birdmomma.   He was lucky to have found you and feel your love.   

[geezerette]

@possummink 

How right you are about the cats wanting to "help" with the sweeping!  Or mopping.  My older cat comes running when I get the mop out.  He flops down on it and goes for a floor ride on his back.  It's hilarious, except he's a long haired cat so I end up with long white cat hair on the floor instead of getting it cleaned!

And the kitten thinks the whisk broom I use to sweep the area around their litter pans is his own personal toy.  He jumps on it, bites it, bats it, and generally makes a mess.  I never know whether to scold him or laugh at him.  Of course, laughing normally wins out.  Which is good.

We don't grieve for those we have lost, because we know they're in a better place.  We grieve for ourselves.  I guess this is why we call it a "loss".  We've lost someone very special in our lives that can never be replaced.  All we can do is savor their memories and the simple good times, like Moose sweeping the floor.  

I believe that one day, when our time comes, we will join all those that have been lost to us over our lifetime and those simple good times will no longer have to be memories.

💔🐾❤️🙏