Dear Applehead,
I do hope & pray that you will find a way to feel less lonely and alone, especially during the Holidays, and please remember you are always in our thoughts and prayers.
I replied earlier Applehead, but feel this is the perfect thread to include what I listed below because you and I have much in common..... as far as being alone...
I have my Phillip now and am very blessed that I am no longer all alone, but I still am the sole survivor of my entire very large immediate family, and USA relatives, I feel I must comment on what a true friend really is....because Applehead..... there are "FRIENDS", and then......... they are so called friends, and no the two are not the same, but extremely different, in their demeanor, and humane compassion.
"The blunt truth is when we lose a loved one and grieve, that is really the time we find out who our friends who know we just lost a loved one really are".
There are true friends who stick with us through thick and thin....... and so called friends, who only want to share fun, and good times.
The true friends are the friends that come by to check on us often when we are grieving ,or when we become ill, to make sure we have food in the house, to make sure we eat and stay well hydrated drinking plenty of fluids.
To speak with us to find out if we have problems sleeping concentrating and eating.
To ask if we need to see our doctor for scripts to help us feel better, and also if grieving then get prescriptions to help, and to also offer to take us there, so we are not alone, because either grieivng or being ill we may not have the strength or mobility to go out alone.
True friends also to try and get us outside on clear sunny days, for some fresh air.
True friends bring groceries over, and bake something nice they know we will like.
True friends try and take us out for lunch, brunch, or dinner.
If we are ill or grieving then a true friend would come and care for us and order food, or brings some in, or even get whats needed to make us food to eat......but they would ensure we are well hydrated and that we definitely do eat when they are with us, so we do not end up hospitalized.
True friends come and do laundry and some lite housekeeping, especially if we are crying and in deep grief, and have no strength, or are just to ill to have the stamina to tidy up for ourselves.
True friends are the ones that not only come by often, but also call us daytime and night time, and email often to communicate, comfort, and talk with us.
True friends also send a condolence card from a card shop, or email a condolence card. (I do both card shop and email condolence cards, from some very nice cyber web sites).
True friends help you in any way humanly possible so you can know you are cared for and loved, and ensure that you do not fall into extreme loneliness and depression, since that also is very dangerous.
True friends always find out what your Holiday plans are ahead of time and include you in theirs if you have made none, or have not yet received any Holiday invitations.
Perhaps in grieving a person prefers not to be included during Holiday gatherings, but certainly after time has passed, and the pain is not as intense, true friends would ask if they did feel up to joining them in their Holiday family gatherings..... and also arrange to pick them up if they cannot motivate themselves to come on their own.
True friends know what it means to be a true friend, and I do not for a moment buy into excuses of this kind:
"I did not know what to say or do for you during your time of grief, so I did not communicate".
"I believed you wanted to be all alone and grieve in private".
"I did not call, come by, or email because I knew you would not want any company, or want to do anything".
Yes I have heard these, and many other lame unforgiveable excuses, each and every time I lost a loved one.
When I heard those unforgiveable ame excuses time and again I knew the people who said them were not true friends, because if they really were they would have remained in touch even more during my intense time of grief.......or illness.
So when I have real true friends I feel very blessed, and if someone does not have any real true friends, make new friends, and you will be surprised to find out in time just how many real true friends you have.
Bless you dear Applehead, and we pray you will be less alone, and uplifted very soon.
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