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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,756
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

Turn your phone off at night.  Review your messages the next day or whenever it is convenient.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 69,806
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Unless you keep the lines of communication open, this is going to be the end of a long friendship.  Are you willing to let that go? 

 

I don't do much texting but can't you just ignore a text that arrives at an inconvenient time?  I don't understand why you're in such a big huff.  I sure don't think sending a late night text rises to the need for an apology.  Answer it the next day. 

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,042
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

I don't answer texts after midnight whether I am up or not.  If it's an emergency, they'll call me.   She's mad because you responded to her text in what she thinks was a snippy or insulting matter.   I'd have called her the next day to sort it out since she's a friend.  Seems odd that you waited 2 months over something so trivial.  If you want her back as a friend, call her.

Super Contributor
Posts: 405
Registered: ‎07-17-2020
I stay up late every night. Sometimes just to have alone time after my husband goes to bed or I play computer games. I have my phone beside me when I am up. When I go to bed I leave it in the living room. All my kids are grown and married. Once in a great while one of them will text me or call. They know I am up late. I treasure the interaction with them so it is always welcome to me. Your friend knows you are up late and just may want some interaction with someone. Is she alone, lonely, having health issues? I think ur messages back to her were a bit harsh and since you responded immediately after she knows you were up. I would not risk losing such a great friend over something so frivilous. If you want to keep her I urge you let go of the pride call her and explain that you stay up late and it is your alone time or whatever. But don't be stubborn and lose her. I think her feelings may have been hurt!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,486
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

I would have just ignored her late night texts until it was a more convenient time to respond.  I don't get this fixation of having to respond immediately.   Would definitely not end a 60+ year friendship over this trivia.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,837
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Baffled by friend

[ Edited ]

I have my settings set so that my phone doesn't ring between 9 pm and 8 am.  I have my family members set as emergency contacts, and my phone will ring if they call between those times.  If they text me, however, my phone will not ding.  That is what I would suggest you do.

 

I also would go ahead and call her.  If she was a good friend for 60 years I wouldn't think you'd want to lose her friendship.


The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau





Contributor
Posts: 28
Registered: ‎12-18-2010

As a couple others have mentioned, I'd be more concerned/wondering why she contacted you in the first place, not why at that hour. She said she thought you were up, but why did she really contact you? Maybe her issue was more than the "superficial" topic of the text. Was she alone/lonely/concerned about something? Was she possibly having physical or mental health issues? Could that be why she hasn't been in touch with you in two months. Do you know what's going on in her life right now? I would reach out.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,758
Registered: ‎01-18-2012

For me a couple of late night messages not worth losing a friendship of so many years.  Also maybe the person sending just 'lonely' or 'off' and having such a long friendship feel they can reach out to you.

 

I have 2 very long time friends they can call me any time - anywhere and I feel I can do the same.

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@KingstonsMom wrote:

@TX-starlight 

 

IMO, you told her twice that you don't appreciate late night contact/texts, but she chose to ignore your request.

 

If her feelings are hurt over this, it's on her, not you.


 

ITA with all of this.

 

I wonder why she has suddenly become so thoughtless of your feelings and disrespectful of your requests, unless there have always been ways she acted like this over the years.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,605
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

My thoughts are that during the time frame of those texts, your friend needed someone to reach out to, and a friend of 60 years came to her mind.   

 

I feel this way because I have friends who are truly struggling to get thru each day right now.  

 

One of my work friends seems to be functioning only because of her work routine.  The clock at home tells her when to go to work, the time clock at work tells her when to go home.  When she's home, she sleeps.   Interacting with her is difficult, because she doesn't want to talk, and she doesn't answer texts.   But I still send texts and say I'm here, if you want to talk, and would welcome her call, or text, at any time of the night.