Re: Baffled by friend

BlueFinch · ‎08-31-2019

With the second late night text, I think I would have wanted to solicit more information from her, since this is a very unusual event. Why the sudden change? What was going on with her so late at night that she needed to reach out?

It's clearly peculiar behavior. She might be in trouble somehow. Being a long term friend, maybe you can sort it out.

I don't think anyone needs to apologize, you just need to come to an acceptable understanding for respecting each other's time.

I wouldn't give up on the friendship just yet. There's nothing like old friends. But, sometimes old friends can start to believe they can do no wrong. Then when redirected, rejection sets in and it threatens the security of the relationship.

Travone · ‎10-14-2016

@RedTop God Bless you.....you sound like a great friend.

NYCLatinaMe · ‎01-14-2017

@TX-starlight your friend of 60 years does not owe you an apology for sending you 2 texts in the middle of the night.

I don't like texting in the middle of the night either. So I don't. If I get a text in the middle of the night, I might look at it in case it's an emergency, and, if it's not, I respond the next day. One of the great benefits of texting is that, if I don't delete it, it will keep until I am up to responding.

I would not let a friendship of 60 years go to waste because she inconvenienced you 2 nights.

If I were you I also would wonder whether she is OK, and make arrangements to meet her. I hope nothing has happened to her.

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

I don't feel I owe her an apology at all. I know she is ok, since she has posted on FB, & her husband would have contacted me, if anything was wrong with her. Her 2nd response was to a text I had sent her earlier in the day (much earlier, lol).

I guess I just needed someone to rant to (reason for my post here, lol). Although, I truly believe she owes me an apology! Tks ladies for listening.

River Song · ‎03-15-2010

@TX-starlight ,

Frankly, if you were my friend of 60 years and received your two snippy texts, I would be hurt, regard them as rejection and ghost you, too!

You need to get over yourself, get off your high horse and reach out to your friend and make amends. Yes, you.

tessam · ‎04-30-2010

I have friends who constantly forget time zones and I often get late night texts. I can't turn off phone as we have elderly parents and need to be accessible. It's frustrating but in the end for me no big deal.. sometimes I ignore the fact at its 3 am...sometimes I'll respond with a "i'll get back to you when i'm awake lol, sometimes "i need my @#$!@ beauty sleep lol" and sometimes i'll say "it's 2 am...'.

Why not just simply call her and say. "Haven't heard from you in a while. All good?" Then take it from there

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

Although this may sound a bit harsh - maybe your responses to her texts confirmed that you're really not that great of a friend after all and has sought better ones elsewhere.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@mom2four0418 wrote:
@TX-starlight wrote:
I haven't watched QVC in a very long time, nor have I posted here, but..... I am truly baffled by a friend & wondered what y'all think of this.

I have a friend of 60+yrs & we have been close for most of those years, especially the later yrs. We have/HAD lunch about once a month & text almost daily. Awhile ago, she sent a text @2am!! Not normal for her, nor me. It wasn't anything important. I do not call or text anyone after 9-10pm. She knows I stay up late, but I was still a bit annoyed. My only response was "you know it's 2am". She responded the next day that she figured I was up. So we on as normal, for another week, then she texts me at midnight. So I politely responded "please don't text this late". That has been over 2 months ago, & I have not heard from her since.

I don't feel it's my place to respond & I feel she owes my an apology. I honestly don't know what to think, lol.

What are y'all's thoughts?

Is there more to the story? I can't imagine making such a fuss over two late night text messages, and possibly ending a 60 year friendship.

I have to agree....losing or just cooling a friendship over two late night texts is a bit over the top.

I also have a friendship that goes back 57 years. I stopped talking to her but will text occasionally. I just couldn't stand her negative attitude towards me. Beause our friendship goes back to childhood I will stay in touch and will send her birthday wishes next month.

She was constantly criticizing and it had been going on for years. I believe the issue was that she had to work long full time hours for many years while raising her kids and I could be a stay at home mom. She was always talking about how she just didn't understand how we could be comfortable on one income while she & her DH had to bring in two incomes....it got to be so tiring and negative.....even though our "kids" are all in their 30s now she would still bring it up!

I never tried to make her feel less than just because she had to work and was always very conscious of not saying anything hurtful...wish it had gone both ways!

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@Kachina624 wrote:
Unless you keep the lines of communication open, this is going to be the end of a long friendship. Are you willing to let that go?

I don't do much texting but can't you just ignore a text that arrives at an inconvenient time? I don't understand why you're in such a big huff. I sure don't think sending a late night text rises to the need for an apology. Answer it the next day.

Agreed! I also happen to put my phone overnight in another room to be charged.

itsmagic · ‎08-08-2011

I think you should give your friend the benefit of the doubt and not expect an apology. Since you said she was responding the second time to a text you had sent much earlier in the day, maybe she had forgotten to reply to your earlier text and realized it later that night hence her late reply. She might have thought it would then be there for you to read in the morning.