Baffled by friend

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

I haven't watched QVC in a very long time, nor have I posted here, but..... I am truly baffled by a friend & wondered what y'all think of this.

I have a friend of 60+yrs & we have been close for most of those years, especially the later yrs. We have/HAD lunch about once a month & text almost daily. Awhile ago, she sent a text @2am!! Not normal for her, nor me. It wasn't anything important. I do not call or text anyone after 9-10pm. She knows I stay up late, but I was still a bit annoyed. My only response was "you know it's 2am". She responded the next day that she figured I was up. So we on as normal, for another week, then she texts me at midnight. So I politely responded "please don't text this late". That has been over 2 months ago, & I have not heard from her since.

I don't feel it's my place to respond & I feel she owes my an apology. I honestly don't know what to think, lol.

What are y'all's thoughts?

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@TX-starlight

IMO, you told her twice that you don't appreciate late night contact/texts, but she chose to ignore your request.

If her feelings are hurt over this, it's on her, not you.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

Winkk · ‎03-15-2010

I just wouldn't respond until the next morning or when you feel like it. If it isn't something urgent let it go. Just because we can text doesn't mean we have to respond to every little thing right away.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I would not want anyone calling,or texting that late unless it was a emergency.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Put the dang phone in the refrigerator. You'll miss her post. If she's a friend and thought you'd be up...........no big deal. Keep your friend, don't fuss over this, not earth shaking!!!

Common sense is now so rare, having it is like having a superpower.
Dave Ramsey

Etoile308 · ‎01-04-2014

I don't sleep with a cell phone close by so late text don't phase me. I will say there are times when I have come across something late night and want to tell someone for fear that by next morning I'll have forgotten. Learned to write myself notes for the next day.

One thing I have noticed is that occasionally there's a delay ifrom when a message is sent to when it is delivered. Surprised when something comes through hours later. Doesn't happen often, but it can occur.

I would give your friend the benefit of the doubt.

Travone · ‎10-14-2016

If you treasure your friendship with her, I would send a message just checking in since you haven't heard from her in so long. Somebody needs to break the ice. Be the bigger person and do it.

Then, the next time you get together ask her not to text after a certain time because you think it is an emergency.

I wouldn't lose a 60+ year friendship over this.

Marp · ‎03-09-2010

My thoughts are based on questions. Does this friend live alone or for some reason not want to "talk" about whatever she texted about with a family member? Did she explain why she texted at 2 am?

I'm asking because when my mother began exhibiting signs of dementia they first manifested through fear. She would telephone me during the early morning hours, usually between 2 and 3 am and the conversation was usually about nothing.

It took a while to put the puzzle of why she was doing this and it eventually came to light that she was afraid and just wanted to hear my voice as a way to comfort herself.

Something to think about. She may just needed to reach out. As to why she hasn't contacted you since the second text only she knows. She may have been hurt by your response or even felt rejected.

Only a meaningful conversation with her will lead to insight about what happened and why. A 60 year friendship is too precious to simply let go.

The more I learn the more I realize how little I know.
Are you setting an example or being an example?

Suzeecat · ‎05-05-2010

I set my phone to "go to sleep" between 10pm and 8am. (There's no one who would call with an emergency who would not also have someone else to contact.) I would just tell her that you turn your phone off when you go to bed and will get back to her when your phone is active again.

mom2four0418 · ‎04-23-2010

@TX-starlight wrote:
I haven't watched QVC in a very long time, nor have I posted here, but..... I am truly baffled by a friend & wondered what y'all think of this.

I have a friend of 60+yrs & we have been close for most of those years, especially the later yrs. We have/HAD lunch about once a month & text almost daily. Awhile ago, she sent a text @2am!! Not normal for her, nor me. It wasn't anything important. I do not call or text anyone after 9-10pm. She knows I stay up late, but I was still a bit annoyed. My only response was "you know it's 2am". She responded the next day that she figured I was up. So we on as normal, for another week, then she texts me at midnight. So I politely responded "please don't text this late". That has been over 2 months ago, & I have not heard from her since.

I don't feel it's my place to respond & I feel she owes my an apology. I honestly don't know what to think, lol.

What are y'all's thoughts?

Is there more to the story? I can't imagine making such a fuss over two late night text messages, and possibly ending a 60 year friendship.

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky