Among Friends

[Janey2]

Grandparents invited you....nothing wrong with that.  Cash bar...tacky

[phoenixbrd]

No, I have never been to a baby shower where I didn't know either of the parents.  My opinion is moot.  You have decided to go....so enjoy!

[Chessa35]

Why not be honest with her . If she's truly your friend she will understand . If you go out of guilt , then your not her friend .

[ECBG]

@chrystaltree 

I think the invitation was "reaching" unless the parents of the new mother's friends are close.  I would never attend anything for someone I didn't know!

[Jrzgirl]

@sunshine45        Your shower sounds lovely!

[Jrzgirl]

@chrystaltree           I have been invited to a shower where I knew neither of the baby's parents.  The parents had just moved to the area & knew very few people.  A friend of the mother gave the shower. I'm quite friendly with the mother so I went & had a good time.

I'm confused, however, by people saying "drink the pink champagne & eat the cake"

Of course, you can drink the pink champagne but you will also be paying for that because it's an open bar.  Which is fine if that's what you're expecting but it sounds like some people think that it will be provided at the shower.  Of course, I could be incorrect & if so, I apologize.

[FancyPhillyshopper]

Yes, I have been to a baby shower where I knew both the parents, but I knew NOONE else!

My younger brother's wife was expecting their first child--I knew none of her friends or family as I live in a different city, and we are in different age brackets. I basically just watched as she opened all her gifts and I really had noone to interact with.  It was a female-only event.  But, it was the thought that counted, and my presence showed I cared!

Nowadays everything seems a bit more elaborate and fancy, but I never go to a celebration and think it is a GIFT GRAB.  Young people seem to want to go all out, maybe due to social media.  IMO it is a mark of respect to be invited to a personal event. I would never ignore an invitation (rude), and I will always send a gift even if I cannot or do not want to attend.

People with limited budgets often have cash bars nowadays at events, especially because there are some guests who will drink non-stop.  It does not really bother me, as I usually just buy one soda for a few dollars.  

Go and enjoy yourself!  Your friend will appreciate your presence as a member of her generation. The mother-to-be will be so excited she will not really pay attention to all her guests, anyway.  Life is short, so we should always try to celebrate when possible. As Hollywood always says, "Party On!"

[chiclet]

I agree with the person who said all showers are gift grabs.  I always hoped this tradition would go away.  You should buy a baby or wedding gift if you feel inclined to do it.  No one should be guilted into buying a gift by a summons to a party.   I had two children and even when I was young sitting around watching someone open baby gifts and ooh and awing and playing stupid games was not my idea of a fun few hours.  I love cake but not that much. 

[CJC]

Oh absolutely I'd go if I were good friends with the grandma. Same thing for a wedding shower. Many of the guests at my bridal showers and my baby shower were friends of my parents and my in-laws. I have attended several showers where I didn't know the baby's parents or the bride and groom, but I was friends with the grandparents. Went to the weddings/receptions too. Enjoyed buying a gift and having a pleasant time. Everything complimentary for the guests.....that cash bar thing is a no.  Enjoy the shower!

[mimomof4]

Those kind of showers do sound like a gift grab to me.   Too over the top.   Personally I wouldn't go.  I don't understand inviting people who don't know the parents to the shower.  

Simply let the grandmother know that you will not attend.  You can indicate that you only attend showers for close family.  If the grandmother doesn't want to be your friend if you don't attend then its her loss.