Among Friends

[jeanlake]

Our sermon this morning regarded the plates we spin in the air and evaluating our busy lives. For the first time in decades I've been balanced, somewhere in the middle with the plate spins, but I remember those krazy, busy, earlier years. So grateful now, but I had to wait until empty nester to get to this place. Question - Are you keeping your plates spinning in the air without losing your marbles? 

[phoenixbrd]

I always aim for the balance in the middle, I am more successful today than in the past due to my lifestyle. Today I have tools and strategies for living a balanced life.  This is a good topic for reflection in our lives.

[jeanlake]

I left the sermon thinking, hey, life is more peaceful now and I'm going to resist needlessly spinning more plates just to fill the gaps. I actually like the gaps and am learning to say, 'No thank you.' Peace is priceless.   

[Carmie]

I think for the most part my life has been balanced.  Not much upsets me enough to cause me to become unbalanced.

Sure, I get upset...mostly at things that happen in the world that I have no power over and can't control.  Evil, hateful things.  I just don't understand it.

 I Like to to be in control of myself and my feelings....that's the reason I don't drink alcohol.

Life was more hectic when my kids were younger, but sometimes I miss that.  Time went so fast when I was so busy. I was having fun but didn't realize it at the time.

i do enjoy my slower life now and try not to live in the past.  The future is before me.

I don't feel so invincible now.  I know my days are numbered and I am more than aware of it.  I try to be a better person now, I feel I have no excuses not to be.

I have been fortunate and blessed.  I try to remember to thank God for giving me not a perfect life, but a good one.

Every once in a while, a plate does drop and break, but there are more more plates ahead.

Sometimes I have to TRY to keep busy.

[sidsmom]

This is one of my favorite sayings.

As a late Baby Boomer, we entered the work force in the 80s

where everything was multi-tasking, day planners &

copious amounts of work hours to qualify our Life worth.  

Even some of the Early Gen X’rs have that same mantra,

which is passed down to their kids, who are in their 20-30’s.

Since I retired in my early 50’s, I see my older siblings 

s.t.i.l.l. using the breathless ‘I’m SOOOO busy’ when I ask

them ‘how are you?’ (and don’t even start me on their

Christmas form letter that goes out each year...ridiculous content). 

It’s such a choice. But that’s how they value their self-worth.

I’m so thankful I found peace & balance in my life...

even BEFORE retiring. 

🌼💛

[dooBdoo]

          Amen to your quote, @sidsmom!    A friend shared this with me several years ago and we still send it back and forth sometimes as a reminder:

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Stop the habitual glorification of busy.

This is a serious issue in our culture.   We have taken the concept of being busy and elevated it with new meanings. 

Busy simply means that – busy. In the process of elevating the meaning of busy to something bigger, and more important, than it really is we now look at someone who is busy as somehow more effective in life than someone who is not.

What we should be shooting for is to be less busy, to have fewer tasks, each with more significance.   I personally struggled with this for years, and at times still fall back into ‘busy’ mode. I fell into the trap that I had to be doing, all the time, in order to be a good spouse, good parent, good employee, and so on.

The reality is that all those times of ‘busy’ are now times I look back on and feel sorrow.   I missed so much, and there was really no need to do so – I had placed that burden of busy on my own shoulders. 

So stop it.   Stop glorifying busy.   

The fact that you are busy is not something you should wear as a badge of honor – instead reflect on this and changes you can make in order to become less busy.   

Then you will start to enjoy the life around you and see all that you just might be missing." (source undetermined)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Also, there's a popular glorification of and pride in multitasking.   The brain doesn't actually multitask -- technically the brain is task switching  -- and repeatedly over the years studies have found that it's not the most effective way to operate.   We often looked at this in my workplace(s) and realized the pressure to multitask was not a winning choice.   Productivity and quality often can suffer when we do many things at once...  but, of course, we don't always have an option.   Great thread, @jeanlake!

[blueroses47]

---

@sidsmom wrote:

This is one of my favorite sayings.

As a late Baby Boomer, we entered the work force in the 80s

where everything was multi-tasking, day planners &

copious amounts of work hours to qualify our Life worth.  

Even some of the Early Gen X’rs have that same mantra,

which is passed down to their kids, who are in their 20-30’s.

Since I retired in my early 50’s, I see my older siblings 

s.t.i.l.l. using the breathless ‘I’m SOOOO busy’ when I ask

them ‘how are you?’ (and don’t even start me on their

Christmas form letter that goes out each year...ridiculous content). 

It’s such a choice. But that’s how they value their self-worth.

I’m so thankful I found peace & balance in my life...

even BEFORE retiring. 

🌼💛

---

I love that saying too.

It must have been in the nineties at some point, that I noticed how people would constantly boast how "busy" they were, like it was a badge of honor or something.  It was just the "in" thing to say, I suppose....and I wonder just how genuinely busy some of these people were.  One of the youtubers I follow did a video about this, and about how busyiness and "hurriedness" are self-imposed.

A person can make themselves busy, but because their life is busy doesn't mean their life is full, full in a meaningful way.

I hate how busyness has become glorified, and glamorized.  (And I really hate those Christmas letters.  Usually they come across as boastful nonsense.)

[panda1234]

---

@Carmie wrote:

I think for the most part my life has been balanced.  Not much upsets me enough to cause me to become unbalanced.

Sure, I get upset...mostly at things that happen in the world that I have no power over and can't control.  Evil, hateful things.  I just don't understand it.

 I Like to to be in control of myself and my feelings....that's the reason I don't drink alcohol.

Life was more hectic when my kids were younger, but sometimes I miss that.  Time went so fast when I was so busy. I was having fun but didn't realize it at the time.

i do enjoy my slower life now and try not to live in the past.  The future is before me.

I don't feel so invincible now.  I know my days are numbered and I am more than aware of it.  I try to be a better person now, I feel I have no excuses not to be.

I have been fortunate and blessed.  I try to remember to thank God for giving me not a perfect life, but a good one.

Every once in a while, a plate does drop and break, but there are more more plates ahead.

Sometimes I have to TRY to keep busy.

---

@Carmie  Great post, very well said.

[Foolywooly11]

@Carmie wrote:

---

@Carmie wrote:

I think for the most part my life has been balanced.  Not much upsets me enough to cause me to become unbalanced.

Sure, I get upset...mostly at things that happen in the world that I have no power over and can't control.  Evil, hateful things.  I just don't understand it.

 I Like to to be in control of myself and my feelings....that's the reason I don't drink alcohol.

Life was more hectic when my kids were younger, but sometimes I miss that.  Time went so fast when I was so busy. I was having fun but didn't realize it at the time.

i do enjoy my slower life now and try not to live in the past.  The future is before me.

I don't feel so invincible now.  I know my days are numbered and I am more than aware of it.  I try to be a better person now, I feel I have no excuses not to be.

I have been fortunate and blessed.  I try to remember to thank God for giving me not a perfect life, but a good one.

Every once in a while, a plate does drop and break, but there are more more plates ahead.

Sometimes I have to TRY to keep busy.

---

Very well said....

[Shanus]

Sometimes we spin too many plates for ourselves and spin more for our kids. When mine were young, they had their share of soccer practice, ballet lessons, etc., but it was 2 afternoons a week each which left them time to play outside, read and learn to entertain themselves.

Many children now are so scheduled out, they have their own “month at a glance” calendars on the frig. My granddaughters do. Swim practice during the week, meets on weekends, etc. (sometimes out of town), scouts, ballet, gymnastics...it’s never ending. On Saturdays there’s birthday parties, extra credit work for school, soccer games (or whatever) depending on the season. Those plates keep spinning for the Girls. My son and dil who do the driving, attending/cheering and still work have their own plates wobbling in the air. 

There’s a point at which I take all MY plates down. No spinning allowed! I get overwhelmed and I see it coming in time to clear the shelf space for the stacking of plates. I see it for me as the fight or flight syndrome. I respond w/ anxiety if there’s just too much going on....within my control or not. I do much better with more peace. I’ve learned to remove myself from plate spinners or those who try to put mine back in the air. 

Oh, it isn’t easy. Staying calm in today’s world is a miracle unto itself. There’s always something to fret about. I give myself permission to grieve, worry, feel hopeless, but put a time limit on it. Sometimes I’ll say “OK, this is awful, I feel really sad, but by Wednesday, that’s it. It’s back to regular positive thinking”. 

If I did not have that important piece of the puzzle in place, I would be surrounded by broken dishes and lose all hope. Knowing that tomorrow will be better is sometimes all we can count on.