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06-27-2020 07:36 AM
I sure don't like innocent people being accused of anything.
Being a victim of domestic abuse and rape and working with survivors, my first instinct is to believe the victim. Over the decades, I've found that 99.9% are true.
06-27-2020 12:45 PM - edited 06-27-2020 12:46 PM
@CalminHeart ...... The numbers may be low for those falsely accused (though I don't believe as low as you predict) it is still
important that people are aware that those rare instances happen.
I sympathize with the anguish you suffered from in your life but your comment only justified my strong believe in hearing both sides. Because of your situation it is understandable why you would automatically feel and side with another victim. However, that does not make it right.
06-27-2020 12:57 PM
06-28-2020 07:02 AM - edited 06-28-2020 07:03 AM
@Swedishmiss wrote:
@CalminHeart
Understand your passion, but your statistics of 99.9% are simply not true. Unfortunately, some people do lie about abuse, which makes it all the harder for real victims.
My personal experience is 99.9%. I didn't say 100% because one victim didn't fully make sense but I still treated her as if the abuse was real.
I did a little research and stats show that 2% or more are false. The question in everything I read is that people can't define "false" allegation. Is it the victim afraid and bails out the abuser? Is it a revised story of what happened because the victim 'loves' the abuser? Does the victim need the abuser for financial reasons? There are a million reasons victims can give to get their abusers off.
I would rather believe all women and take a hit for believing the occasional false allegation than to not believe a woman who was abused.
06-28-2020 07:05 AM
@Sheila P-Burg wrote:
@CalminHeart ...... The numbers may be low for those falsely accused (though I don't believe as low as you predict) it is still
important that people are aware that those rare instances happen.
I sympathize with the anguish you suffered from in your life but your comment only justified my strong believe in hearing both sides. Because of your situation it is understandable why you would automatically feel and side with another victim. However, that does not make it right.
It doesn't make it wrong either.
Like I told someone else, I'd rather believe all women and take an occasional hit for believing a false allegation than not believe even one women whose abuse was real.
06-28-2020 09:50 AM
@CalminHeart wrote:
@Sheila P-Burg wrote:
@CalminHeart ...... The numbers may be low for those falsely accused (though I don't believe as low as you predict) it is still
important that people are aware that those rare instances happen.
I sympathize with the anguish you suffered from in your life but your comment only justified my strong believe in hearing both sides. Because of your situation it is understandable why you would automatically feel and side with another victim. However, that does not make it right.
It doesn't make it wrong either.
Like I told someone else, I'd rather believe all women and take an occasional hit for believing a false allegation than not believe even one women whose abuse was real.
@CalminHeart, YOU are not the one that would "take an occasional hit" it is the one against whom the false allegation is made that takes the hit.
The reasonable approach is to listen, empathize, console, provide whatever support you can to the claimant, proceed as if the claim is factual while deeply investigating the allegations before substantiating the claim.
Anything less is doing a disservice to the alleged abuser, the client and the community. An innocent man or women wrongly accused can suffer the consequences of a false allegation in life long devastating ways, as well as, quite often, their family.
06-28-2020 10:54 AM
@CalminHeart ..... I understand your reason and your compassion for being an advocate against domestic abuse.
I have seen cases of both those that were abused and those that were wrongly accused.
I sympathize with those abused. I also sympathize with those wrongly accused. The damage to the person in either case is irreversible.
Having not been in your situation and having seen what happens to those wrongly accused I am able to step back and calmly see and hear what needs to be seen and heard.
Thankfully that is why juries are chosen. So that they can be open minded, listen, see and hear the facts and hopefully make the right decision.
Sadly once we are affected by something that leaves an everlasting memory or pain with us it is hard not stand against that cause if able. Is it wrong? In my opinion. Not as long as the proof is solid.
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