Attention @Anonymous032819

Sheila P-Burg · ‎10-10-2019

I said in a post I would not respond any more on this topic but you had an "issue" with me wanting to hear both sides and asked "what reason could he possibly have to justify laying a hand ..... ". You have been courteous and fair in your responses to my posts and I did not feel right not at least trying to explain my reasoning for me stance.

I gave a brief explanation in Post 29 of that thread.

I worked for a law firm that represented a gentlemen that had been accused by his ex-fiance of domestic abuse. The evidence appeared to justify her accusations but certain comments/evidence became questable. Before he could go to trial to prove his innocence his supposed friends distanced themselves, his employer terminated him, he lost everything he felt mattered to him.

He was judged and found guilty based on what they heard.

The gentleman lost the strength and will power to face the battle that would be needed to continue his fight to prove his innocence so he decided he could not handle any more of what life was throwing at him and he chose what he felt was the only option he had. I will not go into further detail about this.

He was proven innocent. The evidence was proven to be self-inflicted. The reason for the accusation proven. The gentleman had an affair while engaged and when the ex-fiance discovered the affair broke off the engagement. Hurting she wanted her revenge so she accused.

I learned a lot from that case. I never take sides without hearing both sides, I "dissect" certain things that do not make sense, and I check into what evidence has been submitted and professionally documented.

I find not harm in giving helpful advise or comforting and giving support to someone that says they are in an abusive relationship. My problem is when someone automatically assumes the person accused is guilty based on what is written or said. That is what the police are for and the court system.

I hope this explains my reasoning.

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

@Sheila P-Burg wrote:

I said in a post I would not respond any more on this topic but you had an "issue" with me wanting to hear both sides and asked "what reason could he possibly have to justify laying a hand ..... ". You have been courteous and fair in your responses to my posts and I did not feel right not at least trying to explain my reasoning for me stance.

I gave a brief explanation in Post 29 of that thread.

I worked for a law firm that represented a gentlemen that had been accused by his ex-fiance of domestic abuse. The evidence appeared to justify her accusations but certain comments/evidence became questable. Before he could go to trial to prove his innocence his supposed friends distanced themselves, his employer terminated him, he lost everything he felt mattered to him.

He was judged and found guilty based on what they heard.

The gentleman lost the strength and will power to face the battle that would be needed to continue his fight to prove his innocence so he decided he could not handle any more of what life was throwing at him and he chose what he felt was the only option he had. I will not go into further detail about this.

He was proven innocent. The evidence was proven to be self-inflicted. The reason for the accusation proven. The gentleman had an affair while engaged and when the ex-fiance discovered the affair broke off the engagement. Hurting she wanted her revenge so she accused.

I learned a lot from that case. I never take sides without hearing both sides, I "dissect" certain things that do not make sense, and I check into what evidence has been submitted and professionally documented.

I find not harm in giving helpful advise or comforting and giving support to someone that says they are in an abusive relationship. My problem is when someone automatically assumes the person accused is guilty based on what is written or said. That is what the police are for and the court system.

I hope this explains my reasoning.

@Sheila P-Burg

Thank-you for taking the time to explain.

I understand better now of where you are coming from.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

@Sheila P-Burg , I witnessed the same thing once in my career. It was a real eye opener for me. I try not to assume much anymore, we really never know.

Swedishmiss · ‎04-21-2010

A cliche, but true - There are always two sides to every story.

mspatmac · ‎06-10-2015

Well put @Sheila P-Burg . There are always 2 sides and it is difficult enough when you are face to face with a person but who really knows when it's anonymous posters. (My comments are in general, not assuming anything with recent posts) I am a trusting person and tend to believe, however so many have been deceived on line, like catfished and scammed out of monies and kids being taken advantage of. It's a scary place the Internet, and it pays to be cautious.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

I'm hearting ❤ away even though I don't what this is in reference to. Basically, I have seen such good liars that they can make the innocent look guilty. Think of parents who purposely harm their children - it's called something (which I can't spell) "by proxy"

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@AuntG wrote:
I'm hearting ❤ away even though I don't what this is in reference to. Basically, I have seen such good liars that they can make the innocent look guilty. Think of parents who purposely harm their children - it's called something (which I can't spell) "by proxy"

@AuntG, are you by any chance referring to Munchausen by proxy, now apparently labeled as factitious disorder imposed on another (FDIA)?

If so, I don't think that is what goes on sometimes online when people are caught making up elaborate stories. Usually, it's a desperate call for attention, although it can also be part of a scam (catfishing).

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

@Swedishmiss wrote:
A cliche, but true - There are always two sides to every story.

I've always felt that there are three sides. Side A, Side B, and somewhere in between is a blend of some sort of the two that makes Side C.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@FrostyBabe1 wrote:
@Swedishmiss wrote:
A cliche, but true - There are always two sides to every story.
I've always felt that there are three sides. Side A, Side B, and somewhere in between is a blend of some sort of the two that makes Side C.

@FrostyBabe1 @Swedishmiss

The Rashomon effect:

Rashomon

(also Rashoman)

noun

Attributive Designating something resembling or suggestive of the film Rashomon, especially in being characterized by multiple conflicting or differing versions, perspectives, or interpretations.

Origin

1960s; earliest use found in American Journal of Sociology. From Rashomon (Japanese Rashōmon), the title of a 1950 film directed by Akira Kurosawa, in which several contradictory accounts are presented of the events surrounding a death from Rashōmon, the name of a historical gate (now destroyed) in Kyoto, Japan, under the ruins of which the film is set; the film was based on two short stories by Ryunosuke Akutagawa.

Pronunciation

Rashomon/ˈraʃəmɒn/ /raˈʃəʊmɒn/

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

qvcaddition · ‎03-10-2010

It happen to me years ago on a job where someone was very jealous of the way I looked, and dressed and being very smart was climbing up the ladder working hard. She tried to damage my reputation and went so far as to say I had the disease going around in the 80,s.

I was well liked in the company and excellent job reviews and raises.

I had helped other employees at and outside the job.

the employees didn,t want to cross this women, so they turned their back on me and no one would come near me or speak to me. Even the person I helped for her not to get fired.

to make this shorter, I had to not go into work, get a Dr. and therapist and sue the company and this lady. Took two years, but I had so much documentation, I won.

after all this, and believe me, I went through hell, I get a phone call from another lady employee, who wanted to know how to go about getting an attorney because she now has an issue. I told her, WHAT NERVE TO CALL ME WHEN YOU WOULD NOT SPEAK TO ME WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH IT, then hung up.

I never trusted anyone on a job again. All the hard work and great reviews and help meant nothing. They paid in the end because of all my proof.