Among Friends

[Moonchilde]

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@foundinlv wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

Interesting that of all the people who have stated firmly that they require guests to remove their shoes, no one has said what they would do if someone said "I can't."  Some people may not be comfortable sharing an illness or disability with someone that isn't family or close friends.

If someone declines an invitation or arrives, is requested to remove their shoes and decides to leave, the hostess may never know she embarrassed or hurt someone who *could not* go shoeless without pain or danger of falling but did not feel they wanted to explain/"give an excuse" as to why they would not - nor should they have to. But I guess that would be their problem, their "fault"?

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I own a couple of indoor only shoes and I would let all know that they too can bring their indoor only shoes and wear them in my house if they could not go shoeless.  

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Great idea!

[occasionalrain]

I haven't indoor only shoes, but if I did, I wouldn't want to wear

them in the host's home.

No one has addressed the safety factor. Shoes are meant to protect one's feet. What if a dropped glass breaks, hot coffee is spilled, or someone steps on the foot of another?

[Moonchilde]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

I haven't indoor only shoes, but if I did, I wouldn't want to wear

them in the host's home.

No one has addressed the safety factor. Shoes are meant to protect one's feet. What if a dropped glass breaks, hot coffee is spilled, or someone steps on the foot of another?

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Good point. In all this discussion, I hadn't really thought of that specifically.

Hopefully, those who routinely request shoe removal in their homes, who have posted in the various threads on this subject, will take note of some of the things people have brought up - safety, disability, stability, orthopedic conditions, etc.  Not with the aim of changing their minds, but just to think about reasons why it might not be possible for every guest to go shoeless, and perhaps to think about work-arounds and compromises.

[151949]

At the very least warn people upfront before they come so they can bring their slippers, and wear easy to remove shoes.

[Suzy CurlyQ]

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@susan kay wrote:

marytoodles, you reminded me of a party that I went to a few years ago at a relative's home.  His wife NEVER let anyone in the house wearing shoes.  The wife threw a big birthday bash for her husband, and, of course, we all knew we had to remove our shoes before entering the house.  It was winter, and my outfit looked much better with shoes, but I obliged since those were the rules.  Five minutes after entering the house, the party thrower walked into the room with dress boots on that had 3" heels.  Of course, they were brand new!  I thought that was tacky, but just kept my mouth shut.

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Wow! I am so amazed at how completely stuck on themselves people can be! Maybe you all should never go to her house again! She requires you to look like a humble servant and she a queen! That is what this "rule" makes me think of. 

[Suzy CurlyQ]

Are the people invited into one's home so much more important than the germs and dust one cannot see? Germs are everywhere dirt is everywhere! I just see this idea of requiring  removing shoes as a silly and unloving selfish idea. To me it gives the feeling of uncomfortable-ness and not hospitality. It takes the whole visit down to reminding your guests that they are really not welcome as they are too dirty to enter your palace without removing their shoes! Ridiculous!

[Lipstickdiva]

I would never in a million years ask people to remove their shoes when coming into my home.  I personally think posting a sign about removing shoes is rude and tacky.

My house is my home.  It is meant to be lived in and when I invite people over, I want them to be comfortable.  If that means they want their shoes on, that is fine by me.  If they want to take them off, that is also fine by me. 

That being said, I cannot imagine walking into someone's home and not removing my shoes.  If they tell me I can leave them on, I decide if I want to or not.  If someone enters my home and asks about keeping their shoes on, I tell them it's their choice. 

I happen to agree with OR on this issue.  While it's nice to know what other cultures do, it has absolutely no bearing on what I'm going to do in my home. 

[bonnielu]

The first time I was ever asked to do this I was taken by surprise.  I really did not want to walk around in bare feet (Summer, no socks, no stockings, no nothing).  I was very uncomfortable and rather insulted.

There was not a next time. That simple.  

I do think if this is the procedure to visit there should be a warning in advance.  And or they should provide slippers of some sort.... shoe covers perhaps like the workmen who enter my house.  I don't even expect them to do that, they just do as part of policy.  

[MaggieMack]

When people arrive at my doorstep and immediately start to remove their shoes, I always say, "A dog lives here and I would never expect you to remove your shoes."

What I have against removing my shoes (unless wet/muddy) is that my shoes are an essential part of my outfit, not an afterthought, and chosen carefully for the outfit and event. I feel that my "look" is diminished and it leaves me feeling a little uncomfortable.

We have been sold a falsehood about germs to sell more disinfectants. The healthiest kids and other humans are those who can embrace the benefits of germ exposure. It builds the immune system.

[missy1]

Do the posters on here have dogs/cats that go outside, and you still require to have guests remove their shoes? I am guessing most don't have pets or kids living at home.