Apologies.. do you give or accept easily?

chiclet · ‎03-19-2010

This is tricky. If someone accidentally dropped my expensive china figurine and broke it and said I am so sorry I would immediately forgive. I know it was an accident. There are things people do and say that they did not mean and deserve forgiveness but something like the cheating scandal for college entrance I think it would be better not to apologize. Why apologize when you did something you knew was wrong and the only regret was getting caught. My niece who I thought was very dear and close to me did not invite me to her wedding. I was hurt and shocked. She finally sent a text explaining that she was sorry and loved me and could only invite so many and most were her husbands friends etc.. The apology only made it worse. I only apologize when I do something by accident that was not intentional. I feel people just throw I am sorry and I love you out there to cover whatever they do wrong.

godi · ‎03-09-2010

Depends on situation and tone of the apology. I was raised Catholic we apologize for everything. 🤣 My DH always say why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything. It’s a curse I can not stop doing.

As for the college scandal they owe an apology to all the kids who got turned away for their children. IMO

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

I don’t think people know how to apologize anymore. When someone says “ I’m sorry you were offended by what I said, “ my head explodes.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

@chiclet wrote:
This is tricky. If someone accidentally dropped my expensive china figurine and broke it and said I am so sorry I would immediately forgive. I know it was an accident. There are things people do and say that they did not mean and deserve forgiveness but something like the cheating scandal for college entrance I think it would be better not to apologize. Why apologize when you did something you knew was wrong and the only regret was getting caught. My niece who I thought was very dear and close to me did not invite me to her wedding. I was hurt and shocked. She finally sent a text explaining that she was sorry and loved me and could only invite so many and most were her husbands friends etc.. The apology only made it worse. I only apologize when I do something by accident that was not intentional. I feel people just throw I am sorry and I love you out there to cover whatever they do wrong.

@chiclet

I agree with so much of what you said. I also agree that "I'm sorry" is thrown out there too much and in many instances is not meant at all, but is just a catch phrase.

If you do something on purpose and it is wrong and hurts someone, and then you get called on it, why would you apology? You know your apology is meaningless. The other person knows it, too.

If you do something wrong and or hurt someone in some way and truly did not mean it, or just failed to think something through before you did it or said whatever hurt someone, then-- yes, by all means --- apologize!

I think I do give apologies easily when I know I am wrong and I am trully sorry. And also if an apology is rendered to me and I feel it is heart-felt and genuine, then I readily accept it and move on.

I will recite an incident with a, what a thought was a very dear friend, she hurt me very badly by some things that she said and she knew that she did because I told her so. I even asked her to stop what she was contining to say, and I even asked her to apologize--- giving her the chance to make amends. She refused. This was 2 years ago. I would have accepted her apology gladly and still to this day, if she contacted me in some way and told me that she was sorry, I would accept it easily and with an open heart.

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

Harpa · ‎03-10-2010

I think quick (as quick as can be) forgiveness is one key to inner peace and happiness. It is so much easier when someone apologizes, but when you have to drag it out of them, that's the tough part.

It seems like your niece's invitations were not entirely of her doing. Maybe if she had explained things to you beforehand it wouldn't hurt as much.

I guess that is why forgiveness is in the Lord's prayer. I think He knew we would have to deal with many things like this on a daily basis.

meallen616 · ‎01-10-2013

nevergivesup · ‎04-24-2010

@chiclet I’m very sorry about the situation with your niece. I experienced something similar a few years back and chose to accept the apology and take the high road. I am so glad I did.

If your niece apologized on her own without being pushed into it I would take that as a very good sign. Granted, a text is a poor way to do it but that seems to be the way of this younger generation. She is probably immature, lacking in confidence and allowed her new husband’s family to pressure her. Was it right? No. Should she know better? Yes. But hopefully as the years go by when she knows better she will do better. In the meantime if you can offer a truly heartfelt forgiving attitude toward her, assuming she does better, you have given her a great gift.

colliemom4 · ‎09-08-2010

@chiclet I'm sorry this happened to you. Issues like this with family always seem to be so much more painful.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@chiclet @My son and his wife eloped because they couldn’t afford a big wedding and couldn’t decide who to cut from the list.They felt that rather than have to make stressful decisions they could just go off and have a totally stress free wedding and a wonderful honeymoon.They say it was the best decision and they would recommend it.