Among Friends

[dogsx3]

This comes from my brother who told us he has more money than he knows what to do with, and he  has no need for any of our moms money.

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@dogsx3 wrote:

He told me she had about 74,000 total and siad when money leat us 4 would get about 5000. But he also said she owed him 12000 so he is giving himself 12000 15000 and 5000 so we get 5000 and he gets 32000 out of it all

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[Nightowlz]

So sorry you are dealing with this. As executor you should be able to see her finances to figure out how much money & debt she had. My dad has a box in his closet with IOU's in it from everyone in the family except me & my older sister because we never have borrowed any money from our parents. We told dad we have to go by what it says in his Will. He does not get it. He keeps changing things & telling us to do this or that. I keep telling dad you have to put it in your Will. He does not want to make any more changes.

[Mom2Dogs]

When my mom passed away we all received a lump sum after all bills were paid...sometimes they come in very slowly.  My dh and brother were the executors and we gave every sibling a copy of the bills and how we came to the amount each received.  We had other issues but not when it came to her money.

[Stormygirl]

Is so sad but no I no longer have family and therefore no family problems. I walked away from the fights over the little Mum had and will stay poor rather then dishonor her memory. I have seen so many USA families desolve over wills and money, possessions that I cringe. After seeing this happen with Dh family and others I have vowed to not leave one dime to anyone. No Money, no chaos, no fights, no greed. Is usually the one with the most who trys to take the most. Why? I have no idea. It can cost a fortune to hire a lawyer so if it is only a few thousand usually might not be worth it to get into a legal battle. Legal fes can add up to more then the Will money. I can imagine the deceased rolling in their grave over family not speaking to each other over money/possessions. I have now given my most treasured things away to those I feel deserve it while I am alive so that I can rest in peace when I am dead. Is a lesson to those more financially fortunate to make a very detailed Will whilst still alive. I loved the idea of taking pictures of items and list what goes to whom. Is so sad I am so sorry. A wee bit of money (?) would have changed my life so I know the feeling but is not worth 1 more family alienated over it. Sigh hugs

[CouponQueen]

I am sorry I would not let it go. Everybody said "Mom" wouldn't want them fighting. Well She also wouldn't want one to steal from the other two either. She left them money and they should receive what they are entitled to.

I would call him up or if you are on email terms and ask about the "Real" amount. Say that there must of been an error in previous communication but things like that happen as according to the hospital and documents you have the bills were paid.  That you would appreciate to settle this by going thru the terms of the will that your mother left. You and your sister will be expecting your share of the estate in a short period of time.

I would not allow it to be taken from me either. Especially if it was an amount that would help me significantly and obviously your mother left it to you all three.

I would let him know that you are aware there was a mistake in the hospital bills as they have been paid. But I would not let it go.  As Executor you have a right to the information and he cannot steal from the estate or help himself. An attorney consultation if it comes to that shouldn't be a lot just for a consult to see what approach you have...avenue to take etc.  Good Luck!

[riley1]

You can also ask for an accounting of exactly who the money was paid out to as well as the dollar amount. If any of this was handled by a lawyer, the accounting sheet should be available.

I just had to ask for one - but had to call the lawyer for it.

[dogsx3]

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@CouponQueen wrote:

I am sorry I would not let it go. Everybody said "Mom" wouldn't want them fighting. Well She also wouldn't want one to steal from the other two either. She left them money and they should receive what they are entitled to.

I would call him up or if you are on email terms and ask about the "Real" amount. Say that there must of been an error in previous communication but things like that happen as according to the hospital and documents you have the bills were paid.  That you would appreciate to settle this by going thru the terms of the will that your mother left. You and your sister will be expecting your share of the estate in a short period of time.

I would not allow it to be taken from me either. Especially if it was an amount that would help me significantly and obviously your mother left it to you all three.

I would let him know that you are aware there was a mistake in the hospital bills as they have been paid. But I would not let it go.  As Executor you have a right to the information and he cannot steal from the estate or help himself. An attorney consultation if it comes to that shouldn't be a lot just for a consult to see what approach you have...avenue to take etc.  Good Luck!

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Thank you, yes sadly the amount told to me at start would change my life. thank you, i sent copy to my sister and she also really like what you said. Thank you so much!

[missy1]

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@dogsx3 wrote:

He told me she had about 74,000 total and siad when money leat us 4 would get about 5000. But he also said she owed him 12000 so he is giving himself 12000 15000 and 5000 so we get 5000 and he gets 32000 out of it all

Is there proof she owed him $12,000?

Even at $70,000/4 =$17,500.

Sounds like he isn't sharing.

You have 3 siblings and yourself?

He better have proof that he paid the hospital $15,000.

@dogsx3

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[Group 5 minus 1]

POA ends when a person passes and what attorney told you this was not enough money to bother with? Do you realize some lawyers give you a first consult free of charge? Most people are afraid to see an attorney and that is what your brother is counting on.

[1jenniferjuniper]

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@dogsx3 wrote:

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@CouponQueen wrote:

I am sorry I would not let it go. Everybody said "Mom" wouldn't want them fighting. Well She also wouldn't want one to steal from the other two either. She left them money and they should receive what they are entitled to.

I would call him up or if you are on email terms and ask about the "Real" amount. Say that there must of been an error in previous communication but things like that happen as according to the hospital and documents you have the bills were paid.  That you would appreciate to settle this by going thru the terms of the will that your mother left. You and your sister will be expecting your share of the estate in a short period of time.

I would not allow it to be taken from me either. Especially if it was an amount that would help me significantly and obviously your mother left it to you all three.

I would let him know that you are aware there was a mistake in the hospital bills as they have been paid. But I would not let it go.  As Executor you have a right to the information and he cannot steal from the estate or help himself. An attorney consultation if it comes to that shouldn't be a lot just for a consult to see what approach you have...avenue to take etc.  Good Luck!

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Thank you, yes sadly the amount told to me at start would change my life. thank you, i sent copy to my sister and she also really like what you said. Thank you so much!

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The executor or trustee of the estate is bound by the rules of the trust or will. They can be personally responsible for their actions and can be sued by the beneficiaries.

See an attorney!!