Among Friends

[happycat]

No I haven't had to do that, but I would help our parents out if we had to. 

I would hate for my children to have to do that. I think if I was in that position, I would sell anything I had of value before asking my kids for financial help. Even if that meant selling my home.

[Desertdi]

And just look at Tom Selleck...........stooping to selling commercials about reverse mortgages.................................

[chrystaltree]

No, we were spared that.  Hubby and I are fortunate in that we both had parents who were financially responsible throught their lives and while they were far from rich, they planned for their old and would never take advantage of their children in that way.  My parents are gone but hubby's are still alive, in their late 70's.  My fil worked for the state so he retired in his late 50's and they built a home in ME.  Nothing fancy but it is their dream home.  My fil works par time in a hardware store.  He says you're never to old to "sock a little away".  Like my parents, they are very proud that they are self sufficient and will never need to ask their kids for money.  They even got mad if we send them gifts that they think are too expensive....they aren't.  My mil gardens, cans, cooks almost everything from scratch but they both love it when we send them food items from Qvc.  Things they can't get up where they are and would never pay for anyway.

[RedTop]

No, our parents always lived within their means and spent their money wisely.   

However, my husband and I have helped both parents with buying things they needed but wouldn't spend their money on.   I have offered several times to help my mother pay her electric bill if she would start using her electric heat full time, but she thinks she will "freeze to death" if that is her sole heat source.  My brothers are struggling to keep her supplied with wood and coal for the winter, since she burns a large amount of both while trying to keep her house about 85 degrees.  

[StephaniM]

Yes, my sisters and I contributed to our parents lifestyle for ten years.  We were all happy to do so, anything to show our appreciation.  We didn't care what they spent it on, just that they enjoyed themselves.  I'd do it all over again.

[cherry]

No, both sets of parents were savers

[chiclets]

You are resentful about contributing to your FIL. Don't give.

Stop giving and then learn what that would feel like.

Indignation is not what giving is about.

[Desert Lily]

After being retired for 20-25 years, people go through their savings. Things around the house and cars have to be replaced. Medical expenses can eat savings away quickly. The cost of living rises, but income remains the same. When my father died, his pension stopped, and all my mom had was SS. I bought my mother all of her clothes and did large grocery shopping for her every other week. I bought her towels, new dishes, linens, a reclining chair, throws, a new refrigerator, etc. over a period of years. I cut and colored her hair when she didn't want to go out. I tried to do whatever would make her last years more comfortable. I wanted to help her and couldn't have done it any other way and feel good about myself. My oldest sibling sent her money so she could go out to dinner somtimes or visit family. My mom passed away this last summer, and I just wish I could have done more for her.

[StephaniM]

Y

[KarenQVC]

Usually the best way to reduce expenses is to sell the house and cars and to move into subsidized housing.  If the older person needs help, fine, but they should pitch in.  They should not use resources of the younger generation if it is unnecessary.