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Super Contributor
Posts: 450
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

I am in my mid 50's, and divorced for a number of years.  My only daughter is about to move out on her own, and I am not used to living alone...

 

Would love to try out one of the dating sites....I am hearing good things about Match.com, also E-Harmony.

 

Anyone tried these sites?  What one do you prefer?  Any luck meeting someone?

 

Please - let me know your ideas!  This is all very new to me.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,804
Registered: ‎05-08-2012

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

I'll be quite honest with you. I am in the same situation and I tried e-harmony and was stood up by the guy that I was supposed to meet.  The next day a friend of mine who I told where I was going and with whom, called me to tell me that person was on the front page of the newspaper when he was arrested.  I reported it to e-harmony and asked for a refund.  As for match (and plenty of fish) - I have many friends who have had success and others that have tried for years.  It seems to me that the same guys are on all the dating sites and depending on where you live and what you want, there are a lot of players that you really need to weed through.  I have given up, but that doesn't mean you should.  I know a lot of now happily married people who have met online, it just wasn't my experience.  I prefer the old fashioned way and the instant of knowing whether there is chemistry or not.

Super Contributor
Posts: 356
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

My experience was disappointing, but I think it had a lot to do with my age when I tried dating sites.  I was in my late 20's - early 30's and any man I chatted with, or even got as far as meeting for coffee or dinner was not ultimately interested in me.  I wasn't supermodel skinny, and I guess not beautiful enough for them.  I like to think I'm a really nice gal, with moderately good looks, but I never seem to "fit" their wish list.  Perhaps I wasn't being entirely honest with myself about who I was when I wrote my profile.  Maybe I didn't know yet.  I've really evolved in the last 10 years, and I do think I know who I am now.  

 

I will caution you on using dating sites to meet people because you aren't used to living alone.  I made the choice to live with someone pretty much for that reason, and I can tell you, those were the most wasted years of my life.  I wasn't yet comfortable being alone either, and I wish I'd had the bravery to just try it.  (I posted on your other thread about your daughter moving out, and mentioned this I think).  Once I finally became at peace with who I am, and proud of myself, my life truly changed for the better.  So, I say, take this time to learn to really enjoy your own company.  Sure, get out, date, try new things, meet new people, but don't forget to embrace you.  I know it's not for everyone, but I encourage you to give it a go Smiley Wink

 

I hope I didn't get way off topic with my post.  Best wishes to you!

 

~~Keep calm and hug your pets~~
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,822
Registered: ‎06-21-2015

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

My son went in POF. Within a few days someone contact ed him. They have been 

texting none stop 24 hrs a day for quite a few weeks. She keep complaining about what a POS her phone was. Nexted it was "if I only had a lap top I could see you while we are talking " . She lives in a state nexted to us. He said you send me the money and I will send it to you. She only had 2 hundred dollars. He gave her the rest. She wouldn't give him her address. He had to mail it to her cousin house. Yesterday she sent home pictures all day . He texted her after work, "Did you get the laptop today?. She said no. He said he was going to check tracking to see if it was delivered. I told her it was delivered at 12 o'clock yesterday. Haven't heard from her since. He's devastated. We tried to warn him about this happening. He wouldn't listen. WORNING When they start asking for money or anything else it's a scam. It's called Catfishing and it real. P.S. She wanted IPhone 7 also.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,520
Registered: ‎03-04-2012

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

Be careful of scammers on those sites looking for vulnerable women.  If they say they are stuck overseas and need money - run - don't end up on Dr. Phil!  Ha!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,305
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

You seem naive.    Unless you are very good at reading people, I wouldn't do it.   You would be better off becoming active in your community, church, whatever.   If you are looking for someone because you don't want to be alone, that's not a good reason.

 

After my divorce (I did re-marry & hubby passed away, alone again) I joined up with a great singles church group.   I wasn't looking for a relationship, just didn't want to stay home every night.    Some of the singles hooked up and a few were only there to hunt a partner.    The one guy I almost decided to date ended up in prison, LOL.    Whew, dodged that bullet!

 

There are so many predators out there, so if you are sharp enough, mature enough go for it.    I would say about half the guys looking for a date are married.   Be careful, these sites want you to be believe it's all rose petals and dew drops, it's not.

 

@qvc chick

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,094
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

[ Edited ]

Many,many years ago, (over 20) when computers were new, I met 3 men  online. I  I met them in a AOL chat room.Widow and widowers chat room. They were from my immediate  area.Very near me only the next town . We went on a few dates , movies,dinner,lunch,to church together,ect..I never joined a dateing site.

 

One happened to be a younger guy,recently broke up marriage and i told him to go home to his wife ,which he did...lol. None of the dates ever became s**ual.

 

One guy was in California and we talked for hours (all night long practically) for a yr or more but have never met. We are still online friends. Smiley Happy

 

Another one I dated for over a year , our kids got us together. ..lol .both widowed..lol. That is when I deceided not to bother anymore because it took me all day to get ready to go out at night..lol  and it wasted my time...lol..and   I missed my fav tv shows Like I said I am a loner  and like to be home.lol I hated leaving my dog and we (my dog and I) would jump for joy when he finally left to go home.....lol

 

 

Always meet in a public place ,like your local dinner for coffee,  in broad daylight,first.

 

It never amounted to anything because I am really am a stay at home ,loner at heart. But we have remained very good friends all these years. We e-mail ,talk on Fb , exchange christmas cards,ect. One guy passes my home daily on his way grocery shopping and asks if I need anything.One has since moved to Fla but we still remain friends and chat.....lol  all were my own age and widowed. I never dated a divorced man,did not want to compete with a wife...lol. I like living alone,I can eat choc cake for dinner if I want to.........

 

 

I doubt I would ever do that again. I consider myself lucky now when I think about it......lol  oh, one guy I met at an Audobon meeting .We went bird watching a few times ,but one night he seemed to be taking me home the "dark" way. I got scared and never saw him again......lol

 

My advice is to join something you like,meet people there,get to know them and take it from there. volunteering helps to meet people too.  Good luck to you and keep in mind to be careful.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,572
Registered: ‎07-29-2012

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

I think the person who advised enjoying your time living alone and getting comfortable with yourself gave you good advice.  Some guy who is a virtual stranger is not a good replacement for your daughter leaving the home.

 

I have known several women who used these sights and failed to meet a suitable male.

One women I know uses E harmony as a way to meet men half her age.  She has no interest in long term, so it works for her.  She has wealth, the guys have youth.  

Another woman I know is very healthy, active, into sports and dancing.  Also she is tall. She wanted to meet a similar man.  When he showed up at the restaurant, he was about 5'5" and overweight.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,541
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

@qvc chick - if the only reason you are going on a dating site is because you are not comfortable being alone, you are doing it for all the wrong reasons, IMO. 

 

You need to learn who you are first and need to experience some time alone and figure out how you can grow as a person and learn to do things for yourself (not depending on anyone else). 

 

I would think some online sites are better than others, however, you must be very careful about giving out too much information. I've heard good/bad things about both sites you mentioned.

QVC Customer Care
Posts: 1,496
Registered: ‎10-12-2015

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

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