Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?

[ Edited ]

I absolutely hated my last job. Every day was full of drama, coworkers judging and gossiping about each other, backstabbing, and the company itself was horrible, etc. I just went in, did my job, and went home. I knew a lay-off would be coming and I was honestly looking forward to it. I stayed in my little world, did not share personal information that could be gossiped about and didn't volunteer for anything. I did my 8 hours and left. I didn't socialize after work with these people. I know it's not a good way to work everyday but I just learned to accept it for what it was and yes there were days I would go home and cry. I cried almost every Sunday because I had to go back to work. But when I got laid off and got a years worth of severance pay I could not have been happier. Remember smile, they'll wonder what you're up to.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,368
Registered: ‎03-26-2010

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?

@Mindy D 

 

Great list!  #3 and 4 were what did me in.  I did retire, but still have occasional nightmares about work...4 years later!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,852
Registered: ‎05-23-2015

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?

Sometimes a little magical thinking goes a long way.  I would fantasize about grabbing my bag and walking out the door. Of course , I didn't , it was just a stress break. I would think how exhilarating it would be, and then went back to work. 

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,852
Registered: ‎05-23-2015

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?


@nyc1 wrote:

@Goldengate8361  Avoid dealing with them as much as you can. Just remember that most of those types are unhappy people.  Just be grateful you are not them nor do you go home to any of them.  Rejoice that you are a productive happy person and look right through each of them.  Never give them the power to change who you are or how you feel. 


@nyc1 , I agree about not giving them any power, but it was my experience that many of them weren't necessarily unhappy, just nasty people. It doesn't change the outcome, but I did find it to be true.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,429
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?

Think about if you didn't have a check to look forward to. Think about what if you didn't have it. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,770
Registered: ‎10-03-2014

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?

 

 

Sometimes, nasty behavior is learned from one or both of the parents at a very young age.

 

They often have low self-esteem; however, it can be projected as high self-esteem, over confidence.  They might try to undermine you. 

 

They will try to put you down.  Putting others down makes them feel better about themselves.  They try to lower our self-esteem in a subtle way which to the outside world may go unrecognised. If we try to explain ourselves, they can easily turn the conversation around, making us out to be judgemental and in the wrong.

 

They are manipulators, generalize, and lie and exaggerate the truth.  

 

Usually, they lack self-awareness.  

 

It helps to recognize and understand these behaviors.  With this new level of awareness, we become more confident and assertive when interacting with them.  Don't give them the impression you are a pushover.  If she gets nasty, that's her problem, not yours.  

 

What may be worse are those nice to your face, but are undermining you behind your back. 

 

I'm a firm believer, don't socialize with anyone at work or with them after work.  Keep it professional.  Best not to report these people to the boss, because it might be turned against you.  

 

 

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,474
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?

I never let it bother me and made a game of it and didn't let my personal thoughts get in  the way whether it was someone  I  worked with, supervised or the public I had to deal with.  I stayed calm  and was always polite (no matter what).  There were several employees I supervised over the years that were huge game players always trying to get out of work.  The fun was being so nice and understanding by providing extra one on one training when  they made the same mistakes over and over to get out of work they hated that other supervisors would do to just not have to deal with them.  They soon learned that having me sit with them for extra training was worse than just doing their job. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,737
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?

I feel for you, I really do!  I went through this and at times I really didn't know if I would make it!  I would always, always leave my place of work at lunch time.  I would walk, do errands -- anything --- just to clear my head and try not to think of work for an hour!  Here's one thing I would always keep in my mind --- Be glad that this person is not a member of your family and that you can leave work every day and put it behind you.  I actually felt bad just thinking about how hard it must have been for this person's immediate family dealing with this person day-in, day-out, week-ends, holidays, etc.!  Another thing is, you can never deal with this type of person the way you would with a reasonable, normal person, because they are not.  They are always right, always in control, smarter, faster, better, etc.!  Just smile if you have to be in contact and don't try to cross them or question them.  You will not win!  I tried to keep to myself as much as possible and I worked, worked, worked.  Good luck!  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,196
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?

1.  Grin and bear it until it passes

2.  It won't go on forever, trust me on this

3.  What goes around comes around, see #2.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,050
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Any tricks to getting in a "happy place" when working with nasty people?


@QVC kitty 1 wrote:

@nyc1 wrote:

@Goldengate8361  Avoid dealing with them as much as you can. Just remember that most of those types are unhappy people.  Just be grateful you are not them nor do you go home to any of them.  Rejoice that you are a productive happy person and look right through each of them.  Never give them the power to change who you are or how you feel. 


@nyc1 , I agree about not giving them any power, but it was my experience that many of them weren't necessarily unhappy, just nasty people. It doesn't change the outcome, but I did find it to be true.


@QVC kitty 1    I agree, many of them are just miserable people to deal with and not unhappy, but plenty are.  They just try to hide it by being the center of the universe, obnoxious and self congratulating.   I let those people do their thing and am just happy to be me,  and in their world for a limited amount of time and commitment.