Among Friends

[monicakm]

My plan has been to put this in a shadow box if they make one large enough and it doesn't cost an arm and a leg.  He was a commercial airline captain.

[haddon9]

I used to work in a frame shop 20 years ago and getting something like that custom framed in a shadow box was expensive.  To give you an idea, a football jersey which is lighter than the pilot's coat, usually was over $300.00 to frame at that time.

If you do have it done I think that would look amazing with the hat.....or you could just have the hat done.

[bmorechick]

@monicakm just jumped on here after dinner and saw this... I understand the connection. My dad was in the Navy in WWII and Korea. My sisters shadow boxed his sailor cap, his original mapped route of the South Pacific fleet, his DD214, and many photos, postcards to his family from different stops in Europe, Asia and South Pacific.

I love your idea and to me, the investment is worth it because it's precious and close to you.  Especially as we see our parent or parents age away from the once strong, vibrant people they were.

For other posters - I understand many of us here have gone through this, but I speak for myself that my sisters and I were extremely close to our parents. My sisters now have the privilege of caring for my dad in his apartment, with some help from hospice.  It's been a long road for them.

[monicakm]

@bmorechick 

Your dad may be a little older than mine.  My dad will be 90 in July.  He was in the Army and fought in Korea.  He was a fighter pilot and a Major when he got out in 1963.

Every time I leave the Assisted Living facility they are in, I'm in tears.  It's incredibly sad and they never want me to leave   Thank you for sharing your story,

[spumoni99]

I think it would be nice with just the hat if the rest is too expensive.

[bmorechick]

@monicakm  Yes he just turned 98...I'm always crying when I embrace him when I leave after a visit and when I hug my sister.  We stand there crying like babies.  I wish I lived closer to my childhood town.  My poor hubs.  He just rubs our backs.  He's not a feelings kind of guy.  

[monicakm]

@spumoni99 

Thats an excellent idea.  Thank you!

[monicakm]

@bmorechick 

Well maybe he's not a "feeling" kind of guy but sounds like he does his best to comfort your sister and you.  Sweet.  I always wonder if my dad feels embarrassed to be in the situation he's in and so vulnerable.  He was such a larger than life person.  Not in a loud way but in a take charge type of way.  Is he embarrassed that he can't control or take care of his personal needs?  Is he ashamed that he can't speak so that anyone can understand him?

[Hoovermom]

I would have loved to had the uniform from my DD who flew a B-17 in WW11.  They were requested to turn them in when their missions were over.  It would be worth every penny it cost to shadowbox your treasures.  

[bmorechick]

@monicakm 

Yes my husband is a good guy.   While my dad is still able to communicate well with us, there are times hes totally confused too.  And he will enter into delirium which is sometimes part of the dying process, but he regroups with the help of meds.

I know my dad was initially mortified by my sisters attempts to provide his personal care, in all ways.  He would resist and insist he could do it himself.  They didn't fight him on it, and he eventually came around to realize he just couldn't anymore.  It's heartbreaking, but also amazing to watch the love and care they extend to him and the gratitude he clearly feels. 

I believe if someone is unable to communicate their needs as well, that of course they always, always retain their dignity.  And that should be honored.  And I also believe there comes acceptance.  I hope our parents are able to exit this planet peacefully.  For us, we hope it's before he gets worse.