Among Friends

[Snowpuppy]

If there are no disagreements it's because someone is always giving in.

I used peace at any price because I knew if I stood up for myself it would be over. And when I stood up I was going out the door and yes it was over.

[occasionalrain]

A person's spouse should be their best friend. Do you have arguments with, hostility toward your best friend?

[Imaoldhippie]

@occasionalrain .................Surely you must know that House Hunters is scripted?

[lOVETOSHOP]

One thing I believe can be quite helpful to a marriage is counseling. Too many people end a marriage without at least giving counseling a try. I'm not saying it's the magic wand that makes everything better, but I feel you should exhaust all options available to you, especially if children are involved. You also, of course, have to find a counselor you feel a good connection with and someone both of you feel comfortable talking to. My husband is not the best communicator which led to problems for us. We went to counseling and it helped us greatly. For myself, it helped me see things about myself too...sometimes you need that third perspective. Like I said, it doesn't always work, but I feel it's worth a try!

[occasionalrain]

@Imaoldhippie 

That it's scripted doesn't prevent it being an example. The show wouldn't be believable if it didn't portray actual couples house hunting. The participants aren't actors, if they were lying about their preferences it would be obvious.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

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That's not a marriage.

Evidently it was, for them.

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[qualitygal]

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@SoCal Bred wrote:

A friend of mine once told me, a marriage is like suits in a deck of cards - You start off with diamonds and hearts and end up with a club and a spade.

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I love that!!!  There's times...............LOL  On both sides of those cards.

[qualitygal]

I read what John wrote, wanted to see what he wrote.  He's older, and being a guy I wanted to hear his point of view.

I have been married 56 years and have no idea, nor examples of what a good marriage is.  I think if you can still have the same special feelings when you hear their footsteps, or their car pulls up, that's huge.  We're talking two people, not brought up together with brains of their own.  That's a tall order.  To co-operate is huge.  To let them win too shared.  It is to compromise, it is to still have respect and trust in each other.  Those are just some of how I see it, and I don't have the answers, just ideas.

[ECBG]

It's hard to write a book about marriage that is really inclusive.

Personalities drive every direction, in addition to values.

If you had ever studied the personality types in the Enneogram, which traces back to Pytagoras, the characters of all of the personality types match differently. There would be a million matches. Some toxic, some dormanent, some not.

There is where issues come from in addition to backgrounds.

All of my seniors took the test and I typed them from the book "Understanding The Enneogram", a wonderful, interesting read!