Among Friends

[Karnerblue]

I'd like to share this and hopefully learn to live by it.

[ANewHue]

@Karnerblue  I get your drift . i think it's left over from the full moon if you know what I mean. You know what they say about opinions.  What irks me is when things are manipulated so they can have their voices heard.   If that makes any sense.

[caninefitchi]

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@Karnerblue wrote:

Sometimes I'm not so sure I am.  Am I in the wrong place or are they. 

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You have a lot of friends here. Some lippy ones joined in.

Caught your other thread. I've lived some parts of that, it's not a pretty way to live. I'm not telling you anything you don't know.

Plaid Pants was not trying to hurt you. She sounds raw and was most likely trying to give you a warning. I'd be inclined to agree with her. It was in my case. If someone gets a rise out of hurting you, what better way to do that by then going after that which you love (and can't speak)? Maybe it's not the case and I hope not for you. Just file the info in the back of your brain for future use.

Just be careful, please. You've gotten lots of thoughtful advice. Consider some of that advice. 

[Karnerblue]

@ANewHue that makes perfect sense.

The thing that bothers me (and this has nothing to do with a difference of opinion or seeking advice), is that I come to the topic "among friends" expecting to find friendly individuals and I feel like I am a sitting target for the not-so-friendly to pounce on you with their negativity.  They seem to come to that one forum with bad intention.

[ANewHue]

@Karnerblue I've been around for awhile and there were times in the beginning that I was bait because I spoke my thoughts especially with certain product lines.   I was green and they took full advantage.  The climate around some of the MB's lately has been strange (like I said  full moon). Some  names aren't even familiar.    I had similar experience as you. There are friends I've met here that share similar interests that we enjoy discussing and have fun with,  But then there are trolls that  Sit behind their computers and get amused when they start trouble. Btw, they are really miserable and get great joy out of spreading misery. Don't  take it too seriously is all I can say, we have enough in real life .   I kind of feel sorry for them.

Sometimes you just have to get away from it for awhile.  

[Hooty]

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@Karnerblue wrote:

Sometimes I'm not so sure I am.  Am I in the wrong place or are they. 

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@Karnerblue, you are not the only one that feels like this about this section of the forums, felt this way too many times!

[Karnerblue]

@Hooty, I think the best way I can try to look at it is, the good friends I've made certainly outweigh the negative members we have to endure.  Lately I find myself thinking of all the lovely people I've come to know on the MBs.  I would not trade them for the world.  I'm pretty much a loner and don't have any really close friends to talk with.  I often wonder why I'm like that.  I just don't relate to a lot of people.  Having this circle of special people I've come to know is changing the way I look at many things in my life.  I can really feel the trust I have for many ... you all know who you are!!!

[dooBdoo]

      Thanks for the comments about my post.  I think it's helpful for all of us to remember positive self-talk. 

      Those who find joy and get their kicks from posting inflammatory or negative comments only shed light on their own character and they really don't inform us about their target at all.  When someone needs to resort to personal attacks, they've just told us they have nothing to contribute (hence my signature quote.)  It's not clever, and it's not admirable, to show up on threads and try to mock or demean someone else -- it's easy and immature, and fortunately most people left these tactics on the playground when they moved from childhood to adulthood.   I try to remember the adage, "hurt (adjective) people hurt (verb) people."   People who have been hurt sometimes have a tendency to strike out at others.   So, while I'll never condone hurtful comments or attempts to cause upset, I feel sorry for those who do it.

[butterfly123]

@Karnerblue

Sorry, I read the wrong post and now I figured out which post all the ugliness is coming from.

Yes you do belong right here!

True story....I used to read the topics and replies for a couple of years before "I joined the community" and saw that there are some very nice, kind and intelligent people on here that are very helpful to everyone. I also noticed some that were not and grouped together.  I decided I wouldn't let those who are mean or unkind get to me in their replies. That being said I simply skip over those replies and give hearts to those with kindness and love in their hearts!  God Bless and I am praying for you!

[Moonchilde]

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@Karnerblue wrote:

@ANewHue that makes perfect sense.

The thing that bothers me (and this has nothing to do with a difference of opinion or seeking advice), is that I come to the topic "among friends" expecting to find friendly individuals and I feel like I am a sitting target for the not-so-friendly to pounce on you with their negativity.  They seem to come to that one forum with bad intention.

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Honestly? Among Friends is the "gentle" forum. Most of the pouncing occurs on Community Chat. Even the moderators seem to operate that way - more dissention and rudeness is routinely allowed there vs. Among Friends, where more deliberately rude posts are zapped pretty quickly.

I understand that blunt, harsh-sounding posts can sound as if they are attacking and being deliberately mean, but they aren't necessarily meant that way - some few are (the usual suspects) and some aren't.

Some people (have definitely experienced this in real life/in person) feel that they have to shout at/browbeat others to get their point across/to get you to do what they tell you/order you to do. And for some, it always comes in the form of shouted, fist-on-table ORDERS, not sympathy or suggestions.  It's the (sometimes only) way they know to communicate. They don't really see how they come across, but at least some of them, I believe, *would* care if they knew.

Yes, of course, there are people who routinely and consistently anywhere and everywhere (but most often in CC) post with the sole purpose of insulting and being as rude as they can get away with - EVERY post, EVERY time. Those people are simply to be ignored, period. They are a forum joke.  Others are like most people - they have strong feelings about some things, about other things/most things, not so much.  

Overall, though, I don't think it's truly personal. There are some who trawl the forums looking for any topic or poster that will give them the tiniest opening, and take it. I don't think the topic matters, they just look for threads where they can attack. So if that helps - it isn't "you", per se, it's the opportunity they perceive in certain posts. Ugly yes, but true.