Among Friends Grief Support Group - Page 12

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

Thanks to everyone for sharing your deeply personal pain. It's often easier to do it online than it is in a non virtual world that can be so judgmental and uncaring.

Next week leading up to the anniversary of losing my Mom I'm going to do some volunteer work for a cancer charity event. It's a way of trying to channel my pain into something positive, and I know my Mom would love it. That and St Jude's Hospital were her favorite charities.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

mizree · ‎04-04-2016

@Greeneyedlady21 Your charity work is a wonderful way to honor your Mom. I learned of this thread when it was suggested for another. i thank you for starting it and wish i'd found it sooner. I'm still going through the first without my Mom and i miss her every day. Stay strong. Your Mom would want you to be happy.

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@mizree I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you didn't know about this thread. That's my fault for not keeping it going. Please post here when you feel like it.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

I'm not sure why I'm posting this here, but I guess I just wanted to share.

My Dad passed away last year. It's been really hard, much harder than I expected. I think of him every day, of course, but some days are harder than others. And some moments are harder than others. Sometimes I can anticipate when I'll get that catch in my throat, that quick loss of breath, that overwhelming feeling of despair that comes with the realization that he's really, truly gone forever. But there are moments when I'm completely caught off-guard.

One of those moments happened yesterday. I was driving out of the parking lot of Home Depot, and I stopped to let a man and his young daughter cross in front of me. They were on their way into the store, and she was holding his hand. I thought, "Hold tight, little girl. Someday you will miss this more than you can imagine." And then the tears came. It was the most simple scenario in the world, something so routine that we see it every day. To that little girl, I'm sure it was just another time her Dad was taking her along on his Saturday errands. To me, it was a lucky little girl with a loving, protective Dad who will likely be in her life for many more years. I hope he is. And I hope she appreciates it now, and I hope she holds onto his hand every chance she gets.

I hesitated to post about this because I rarely post personal things on these forums and I also realize it's kind of corny, but I waited a day and still felt the need to express it to someone. So thanks to whoever is reading this for being that someone.

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@NYC Susan There's absolutely nothing corny about it. Thanks so much for posting. Please post here whenever you want and whatever you want to post.

I feel the same exact way every time I see a Mom and daughter, younger or older. This weekend was the 1st anniversary of losing my Mom. It's been so very difficult. She was my best friend too.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:
@NYC Susan There's absolutely nothing corny about it. Thanks so much for posting. Please post here whenever you want and whatever you want to post.

I feel the same exact way every time I see a Mom and daughter, younger or older. This weekend was the 1st anniversary of losing my Mom. It's been so very difficult. She was my best friend too.

Thanks, @Greeneyedlady21.

I was told by a cousin that it took 3 months before she could talk about her Dad without crying. I'm more than a year in, and I don't see that part of it getting any better. We all grieve differently, I know that. I've counseled many people thru grief (including 9/11 survivors), so I'm well aware. But I think in the midst of our own grief, it's hard to sort it all out. I try very hard to focus on feeling grateful because I most definitely am grateful for the Dad I had.

I'm sorry this has been a tough weekend for you. I hope you were able to recall happy times with your Mom. Losing a parent is tough, and a parent who was your best friend is an even tougher blow. But the silver lining is that you were incredibly lucky, and I'm sure you know that. The flipside of that of course is that the loss is so much harder because you have lost so much. I hope your good memories overtake the sad ones. I know there are no words. You made it thru the first anniversary, and you'll make it thru each one, stronger each time. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you peace.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Greeneyedlady21 · ‎01-06-2015

@NYC Susan I wish you peace too. I meant every word.

"This isn't a Wednesday night, this is New Year's Eve"

1Snickers · ‎03-19-2016

@NYC Susan My Father died over 20 years ago. He could fix anything. Several times when something is broken and I look for a hammer or tool of his and don’t know how to fix something I will think “Papa could fix it”.

Often I will pick up just the correct tool to do the job!

Our Parents are with us in our hearts and memories and will never leave.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@1Snickers wrote:
@NYC Susan My Father died over 20 years ago. He could fix anything. Several times when something is broken and I look for a hammer or tool of his and don’t know how to fix something I will think “Papa could fix it”.
Often I will pick up just the correct tool to do the job!
Our Parents are with us in our hearts and memories and will never leave.

Thank you, @1Snickers.

I can totally relate. I feel my Dad guiding me all the time. And giving me strength when I need it most. I feel his presence, and it's extremely comforting. You're right - They are still with us. Thank you so much, and I'm sorry about the loss of your father. How lovely that he lives on in you in that way.