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Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,254
Registered: ‎01-06-2015

Among Friends Grief Support Group

I thought I would start this for anyone who is interested. I would like it to be a kind non judgmental place where people can talk about whatever they want about grief in their lives.

 

It's the hardest thing I've ever been through. Every day it is. People don't know what to say, but all I would like for them to do is listen. Offer some kind words, or just a hug.

 

"Empathy is a superpower"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,501
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group

What a fantastic idea @Greeneyedlady21

 

I could have used a thread like this earlier this month when a birthday came up.

 

 Heart to you!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,600
Registered: ‎08-28-2010

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group

I have found that the lost lessens but never truly goes away.  I allow myself to cry and mourn and recall those who have gone on in my thoughts and words.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,501
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group

I am going to leave this suggestion here.  I have posted it a few times in the past. 

 

When I suffered my worst loss, I got a journal and wrote to my deceased loved one many times a day, every day, every other day, whatever I needed to do.  Sometimes I was constantly pulling it out.  Sometimes I went a few days or a week without it and gradually it lessened to the point I probably haven't had it out in several months now.

 

You can do the same thing by just talking to your loved one aloud if you are not a writer, type it into a computer, just sit and say it in your mind, whatever version works.  I found it extremely helpful plus it gave me something comstructive to do while I cried and got some of the pain out.   

 

 

 

 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 765
Registered: ‎12-28-2011

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,003
Registered: ‎07-21-2015

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group

This is a fabulous idea.  I hope this string can be a soft & gentle place for souls to land.  @Greeneyedlady21 I agree, for me it's the most difficult thing I've ever done.  To you and to @Laura14 I send you the most gentle thoughts of comfort.  It helps me to remember that my beloved are always with me.  I hope that thought helps you too.  I'm here to listen.  Sending thoughts of peace.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,003
Registered: ‎07-21-2015

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group


@cactusgal wrote:

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@cactusgal Wow.  I had not read that before.  Thank YOU for posting.  How true, one does endure it and it becomes an element of us.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,501
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group

[ Edited ]

I am also going to leave this suggestion as well now that you have me remembering what helped me during that time.

 

For me, I found it really helped to put all traces of my loved one away.  It really stuck a knife in my heart to constantly be seeing her stuff everywhere.  I put it away, did not discard it, but that really, really helped me big time in not having my heart ripped out every time I walked in the door or into a room.  

 

Once I got to safer place probably over a year later, I pulled some of it back out again and could live with it as a wonderful memory and treasure of her. 

 

If you are being overwhelmed because you see your loved one everywhere, it is okay to shut the door, pack it away, and just distract yourself.  Your loved one wouldn't want you in such pain and if it helps to lessen it by putting items no longer needed by them in this world, do it.  Toss nothing.  Just get it out of sight.

 

I can not tell you how much that took the edge off of my emotions when I was in the thick of it.  Not for everyone but worth a try if you find you burst into tears constantly at the sight of something.  

 

    

Super Contributor
Posts: 363
Registered: ‎06-02-2010

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group

My nephew died five weeks ago yesterday.  Five weeks ago Tuesday I got a call from the hospital that there was a young man there they thought might be related to me.  Five weeks ago today he became an organ donor.

 

He is just seven years younger than me.  We are closer in age than I am to his mom/my sister.  His daughter is eight months younger than my son.

 

His mom/my sister is being horrible. While I am not a doctor, I believe she is a narcissist.  I have been thinking she might be for some time.  One of the reps for the organ donation organization also hinted around about this. 

 

His mom/my sister hasn't checked on his daughter at all.  I check in with her several times a week.  My great niece is SO awesome.  She is so much like her dad but yet different.  My sister is missing out...again.  She missed out on her son.  He told me a few weeks before he died that his mom abused him.  I was driving when he said it.  I just reached for his hand to hold. 

 

I am a photographer.  We made some pictures of him and his daughter several weeks before he died.  I had edited some and sent them to him  electronically.  He was trying to impress a girl he wanted to date.  I promised his daughter that I would print every picture from that day no matter how bad it was.  I did that on Tuesday.  While I tried to hold on to the memories of breakfast, laughter, and sunshine from the day we made the pictures it almost broke my heart in half.        

Valued Contributor
Posts: 765
Registered: ‎12-28-2011

Re: Among Friends Grief Support Group

@Misplaced Parisian You are very welcome. The Compassionate Friends Support Group called it The New Normal and boy is it.