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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,060
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

My husband and I feel sometimes like we are the only ones who do not have loving children and grandchildren to spend the holidays with ( I am talking about non covid times).  We have children (not with each other) and they could care less about us.  I never hear from them unless I contact them.  I have had friends through the years but either we lost touch by moving or got different jobs etc etc and maybe we email occasionally or meet sometimes for lunch.  We always feel so lonely and think all we have is each other which is actually true.  When one of us goes we cannot count on anyone for help or support.  I just wonder if we are the only ones.  It seems that way...it seems everyone has family to love them.  When I was young I never thought I would wind up like this.   Holidays always emphasize it.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,946
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

I am where you  may be some day, my husband died in 2013, one son in 1998, i live about 7 miles from other son,rarely see him,  they are always TOO BUSY,so they say.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 896
Registered: ‎06-20-2015

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

I hear you.  We have three sons and only one of them lives near us and yet we have to almost make an appointment with him to come to see us.  Covid has caused us not to see our two grandchildren since March.  My husband is an only and my one sister passed away about five years ago so there is no immediate family.  We recently moved into a townhouse but don't expect any immediate family to visit so it's just my husband and I. 

 

I'm not sure about the holidays but I will be putting up lots of lights!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,353
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

@aubegirl  I feel for you as am in similar situation. I have siblings I'm not close to and even my parents I don't talk to a lot. My kids live far away so rarely see them as well. And you are right in that the holidays just emphasize the pain and loneliness. For some reason I always get depressed around Christmas time.  Hang in there---you're among friends here!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,892
Registered: ‎03-10-2013

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

You are not alone. @aubegirl 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,974
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

IMO there are more dysfunctional families than the loving, happy ones portrayed on TV and ads, especially this time of year.  So, no you are not the only ones.

Fear Is Incomplete Knowledge---Agatha Christie
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,933
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

I'm an only child and both parents are gone. My husband has three siblings whom he hasn't seen in decades. Occasionally we'll get a Christmas card from his sister but that's few and far between. They all keep in touch with each other but my husband is left out of the group. Don't know why. Maybe because he's the only sane one. As for friends we do have a few but we don't spend the holidays with them as they have their own families. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,006
Registered: ‎06-24-2019

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

Hubby and I didn't have a lot of friends. WE have a daughter and her husband.  We have sibling all in another state all but 1 completely estranged which is fine, whatever.

 

My husband passed away 2 months ago so I am ot feeling Christmas.  The isolation is unbearable.

 

While he and I always looked forward to Christmas together (our favorite time of the year) this year because of him not being here.  With COVID I cannot even go out and see people.

 

No you are not alone. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,923
Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

At least some of you have husbands.

 

 

 

I don't even have that.

 

 

 

After my dad died,  his side of the family all but forgot that I even exist.

 

 

It's been over a year since we last spoke on the phone, and I was always the one calling.

 

 

 

Forget that!

 

 

 

I am not the type of person who begs for attention or affection.

 

 

 

 

 

I figure that it's their loss.

 

 

 

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,380
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Am I the only one who does not have a loving family and lots of friends?

@aubegirl 

No, aubegirl, you are not the only one!  I am here to commiserate with you!  Sending a big hug your way!!!!  DH and I are about the same as you!  We are blessed to have each other and are grateful, as I am sure you are, too.  However, we at times do feel a bit sad and wistful because we have no children and family members -- well, let's just say, we have a couple family members, but there are difficulties there and leave it at that!  There are a few friends who live all over the country and we never get to see them.  "Friends" we had when we worked --- well, they are pretty much nonexistent.  We try not to dwell on it but at times it does get to you.  He and I have also expressed to each other that we do get concerned at times since we are getting older that we basically have nobody but each other if something happens.  We try not to dwell on the negative and we try to make the most of each day -- one day at a time.  Blessings to you and your husband.  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin