Among Friends

[RedTop]

I would be looking into purchasing the cemetery plots very soon.   In my area of southern WV, many burials are in family cemeteries on private property.  Burial in one of our local perpetual care cemeteries is an expensive process best taken care of in advance.    Sending best wishes to you as you handle these final arrangements.   

[Yardlie]

Have you written the obituary yet? Around here, they usually put in the newspaper a photo of the person when they were much younger and healtier. They usually use a more current photo (or both photos) on the memorial cards that are given out at the funeral home. You could also select the music in advance.

[Noel7]

You might want to consider cremation if the person is OK with it.  Most people choose that route now rather than burial.  It's much less expensive and cemeteries are running out of room.

IMO the music is important.  Since it will be in your church, you might have someone there who usually does the singing.

[henderson]

If anyone is thinking about cremation, please consider whole body donation thru Science Care (you can still donate organs separately).  Research is needed and this helps find cures.   Science Care works with your local funeral home and you don't pay for anything.  The funeral home will pick up the body and transport to Arizona (headquarters).  You will get free cremation and your ashes will be returned to your loved one within about 3 weeks.  You may sign up in advance.  Just google Science Care.  They will send you papers to sign and info.  Our friend had her husband's body donated to a teaching medical University, but she didn't receive the ashes back so I was happy that Science Care would do that.

I found out about Science Care when we were making preparations for cremation for our 33 yr old son who passed away from cancer.  He was married and his wife didn't have money for the cremation expenses.  It was sudden so we didn't get a chance to talk to her about Science Care.  I signed up for it.  At least my "old" body can be used to help someone in the future. 

No need to pay for Neptune Society.  Our friends did that and I don't know how much they pre-paid, but I'm sure it was expensive, even more so that going thru your local funeral home.  I think what "hooked" them was when they received an ad in the mail saying something about veterans benefits.   You may also request from your local funeral a list of services with prices -- they are legally bound to do this. 

[shoptilyadropagain]

My parents pre-planned and prepaid their funerals and that is a huge blessing.  My dad passed away in May and we met with our funeral director and just had to finalize a couple of details.  We were in and out of there in no time.  He said he could order the spray for the casket unless we wanted to do it.  Mom wanted to do it herself so we went to our local florist afterwards and picked it out.   

BTW, the details for every funeral and visitation that I've ever been to at a church was still handled by a funeral home & the director.  They take care of providing the guest book and having staff to help direct people in the church and then afterwards for the funeral procession.

[Stray]

Select the funeral home that you will be using for mortuary services, if any.  They will direct you and will take care of the memory cards, suggest music and usually give you a form with questions about the deceased.  From that they will write the obituary and get it published or you can write it yourself and publish it as well.  But, funeral directors do help you at a very difficult time and make it easier.  They also arrange for the grave opening, obtain the death certificate and make copies and a host of other services

if you are buying your casket at a Costco, be sure to contact the cemetery re their requirements for a vault or grave liner which stabilizes the coffin.  Make sure the measurements/container are adequate to accommodate the coffin size.

Since you are purchasing a coffin, I assume a burial will take place and you have a plot.  If the person is being cremated, check with the crematory re coffin requirements and a container for Cremains.

If you plan not to use mortuary services at all, in my state, you need a permit to transfer the remains ....so you should check with your local health department, municipality or go to your State's website re disosition of human remains

i am sorry about your anticipated loss

[Patriot3]

I have made all my plans, put them and my wishes in writing and have given copies to my children.  I have also written my own obituary.  I think this takes a lot of the burden off the survivors/family.

[esmerelda]

Cremation, no service, those little card things (instructions for an adult child, sibling, someone to mail them to everyone in your address book/card list), obit with charitable organization for donations.

[chihuahuamom]

An update on my "search".  I visited the mortuary and discussed plans with a very nice planner.  No pressure to do anything other than what I wanted,. The cost was about what I expected.  I visited our two local cemetaries this week.  There wasn't a lot of difference in cost, but one was more attractive than the other with lots of mature trees.  The cost for burial was more than I'd expected and that was a basic no frills burial (it was for two though).  I guess everything is expensive these days.  Also I live in California where everything seems higher.  

I appreciate all your replies and suggestions.

[CalminHeart]

Talk to your funeral home.  They usuall take care of the other things for you.