Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,677
Registered: ‎03-27-2010

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)

[ Edited ]

@lolakimono  I am sorry for this tragedy.  Trust your intuition what is best for you   This is a time of grief for the family and some would rather be with immediate family.  If you feel uncomfortable because you are neither relative/family offer your prayers privately and maintain respect and honor for the family.  You might want to send a card expressing your condolences. The fact that you are questioning indicates that you have a doubt regarding your presence at this difficult time.  Do what your heart tells you to do...it will be the right answer whether to choose to go or not.  I'm sorry, these are challenging times.  I know you will be there for your students as they will be suffering their loss.  You will say and do what is right as your heart is in the right place.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 54,181
Registered: ‎03-29-2012

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)


@jackthebear wrote:

I think you should use the "will I regret not going" 

 

and or send a card


@jackthebear 

Can you check the AMS FB for more info. and then you might advise me there?

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)

@lolakimono  Having taught at an inner-city public school for many years, I, unfortunately, attended many funerals of students.  While we think that families would want teachers and staff to attend, not all do, which is why I think that principals often do not attend.  In each circumstance, you need to make the decision that you feel is right.  Whether you do or do not attend the funeral, Legacy will probably have an obituary posted where you can write your thoughts.  I would encourage you to do so.

 

It is always so sad when a young person dies, so my condolences, not only to the family, but also to the school faculty and staff.  It is very difficult when the death is expected, but even more so when it is not.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,249
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)


@lolakimono wrote:

@jackthebear wrote:

I think you should use the "will I regret not going" 

 

and or send a card


@jackthebear 

Can you check the AMS FB for more info. and then you might advise me there?


done

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,305
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)

Tragic loss of a young person. There will be many people who come to call including the deceased's friends and their parents.

I would encourage you to go, pay your respects to the family, then be on your way. 

Your attendance will be appreciated and never forgotten.

 

Very sorry for the loss of your student.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 579
Registered: ‎06-24-2021

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)

To my mind, "friends and family" encompass just about everyone the student knew. 

If the family wanted to limit attendance they would have specified "private" .

I would go if you can. So sorry this has happened in your community.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,146
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)

If this is just visiting hours (not the actual funeral) and I knew the student who has passed, I'd probably go, offer my condolences to the family and leave.

 

Keep the visit short and respectful.  However, since none of us know all the circumstances, how well you knew the student (or his/her family), you are the only one who can make the right call.  Go with your gut instinct.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,271
Registered: ‎06-07-2010

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)

This is a toughie.  I think I would go, make it short, explain who you are and how you knew their child, give condolences and then leave.  Otherwise, sending a card w/the explanation would be okay, too.  Good luck w/whatever you decide.  You'll know..........

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,231
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)

I'm sorry for the loss of your student.  There is nothing more heartbreaking than knowing that a young life you have cared for is gone.

 

As a teacher myself, I would attend.  You mentioned that the family might not even know you because you weren't the teacher on record.  I'm sure the student has talked about you to his or her family.  They will know who you are.

 

You also mentioned that many teachers are away or working summer school  That's even more reason for you to go.  Since you are able to attend when others can't, it would be a kind gesture to be there and represent the community in which he/she was a part of.

 

Unfortunately, my district has had experience with more student tragedies than I'd like to think about.  Seeing the teachers and administrators from the schools in which their child attended has always been a welcome and comforting sight to parents.

 

Do what you feel is right in your heart.  You won't be wrong.

 

 

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 142
Registered: ‎08-11-2010

Re: Advice RE a Funeral (Urgent)

I can't tell you what to do. You know if heart heart what is right.

When we lost our son,  He had been out of school for about a 1 1/2 yr. just about everyone who was inschool with him and teachers came to remember and honor.

It meant the world to us in our grief.

If you decide not to attend. perhaps a phone call or a short letter to the family. sharing a fond memory of their child