Adoption and conceiving through IVF - Page 5

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

I apologize if my posts were upsetting, not my intent. Maybe I should have explained my reason. I had a friend at school who had been adopted and told she was chosen/special. She told me she knew better and wondered what other lies her parents had told her.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

@occasionalrain, your posts were fine. Sadly some people on these boards like being critical of others. Fighting and arguing about things that are personal is just foolish. We are all entitled to our thoughts and opinions without the need to be judged by others.

GingerPeach · ‎03-12-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
I apologize if my posts were upsetting, not my intent. Maybe I should have explained my reason. I had a friend at school who had been adopted and told she was chosen/special. She told me she knew better and wondered what other lies her parents had told her.

That makes sense, but I'd add let's consider the time or era in which that was spoken. No doubt she didn't completely believe her parents because they (and she) were still prey to whatever the current culture surrounding them was telling them about the adoption process.

If the parents weren't completely convincing, perhaps they wanted to believe but there was also a nagging doubt within them as well.

And the daughter felt that.

It doesn't mean they didn't WANT to believe it fully or that they never fully came to that realization; only that perhaps since we are all human, we try and we attempt and we make the best of things. And trust it will work out the way we hope and trust it will.

If you are still in contact with your friend (or even if you aren't), I hope she believes her parents today. It was unfortunate that her disbelief extended to anything else her parents may have wanted to share with her.

A final note: I really, really hope one day we can ALL understand that adopting a pet is not a lesser thing. It is done with as much care and consideration as possible, and not like buying a bag of potatoes at the grocery store. (In fact, often the pet chooses you, and that might be the best of all.)

[was Homegirl] Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@GingerPeach wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
I apologize if my posts were upsetting, not my intent. Maybe I should have explained my reason. I had a friend at school who had been adopted and told she was chosen/special. She told me she knew better and wondered what other lies her parents had told her.
That makes sense, but I'd add let's consider the time or era in which that was spoken. No doubt she didn't completely believe her parents because they (and she) were still prey to whatever the current culture surrounding them was telling them about the adoption process.
If the parents weren't completely convincing, perhaps they wanted to believe but there was also a nagging doubt within them as well.
And the daughter felt that.
It doesn't mean they didn't WANT to believe it fully or that they never fully came to that realization; only that perhaps since we are all human, we try and we attempt and we make the best of things. And trust it will work out the way we hope and trust it will.
If you are still in contact with your friend (or even if you aren't), I hope she believes her parents today. It was unfortunate that her disbelief extended to anything else her parents may have wanted to share with her.

A final note: I really, really hope one day we can ALL understand that adopting a pet is not a lesser thing. It is done with as much care and consideration as possible, and not like buying a bag of potatoes at the grocery store. (In fact, often the pet chooses you, and that might be the best of all.)

Comparing the adoption of a pet to a human being is offensive.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@RetRN wrote:
@occasionalrain, your posts were fine. Sadly some people on these boards like being critical of others. Fighting and arguing about things that are personal is just foolish. We are all entitled to our thoughts and opinions without the need to be judged by others.

@RetRN Judged? So it's fine with you if adoptees are called second best???? That's not a judgement on anyone who is adopted?

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@occasionalrain wrote:
I apologize if my posts were upsetting, not my intent. Maybe I should have explained my reason. I had a friend at school who had been adopted and told she was chosen/special. She told me she knew better and wondered what other lies her parents had told her.

Damage control 101. There was no friend.

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

@Trinity11 wrote:
@RetRN wrote:
@occasionalrain, your posts were fine. Sadly some people on these boards like being critical of others. Fighting and arguing about things that are personal is just foolish. We are all entitled to our thoughts and opinions without the need to be judged by others.
@RetRN Judged? So it's fine with you if adoptees are called second best???? That's not a judgement on anyone who is adopted?

Please tell me where I said anything about adoptees? I do not understand you at all, your posts go off on whatever tangent you feel like, try to focus on what others are saying, not what you want to hear. These boards are open for everyones thoughts, not just yours.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@RetRN wrote:
@Trinity11 wrote:
@RetRN wrote:
@occasionalrain, your posts were fine. Sadly some people on these boards like being critical of others. Fighting and arguing about things that are personal is just foolish. We are all entitled to our thoughts and opinions without the need to be judged by others.
@RetRN Judged? So it's fine with you if adoptees are called second best???? That's not a judgement on anyone who is adopted?
Please tell me where I said anything about adoptees? I do not understand you at all, your posts go off on whatever tangent you feel like, try to focus on what others are saying, not what you want to hear. These boards are open for everyones thoughts, not just yours.

You @RetRN just told Occasionalrain that her posts were fine. Since the posts we are talking about are the posts on this PARTICULAR thread, then it is obvious that you are in agreement with her. Crystal clear no matter how you choose to twist it.

GingerPeach · ‎03-12-2010

No it's not, @Trinity11

It's only offensive because some humans think of pets as beneath us.

There is no such thing as "just a dog." Or "just" any creature.

If we honored animals, they wouldn't be lesser beings in any sense.

It's the fault of humans that we do not understand more about animals. Dogs sure do their best to understand us and love us no matter what.

[was Homegirl] Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@GingerPeach wrote:
No it's not, @Trinity11
It's only offensive because some humans think of pets as beneath us.
There is no such thing as "just a dog." Or "just" any creature.

If we honored animals, they wouldn't be lesser beings in any sense.

It's the fault of humans that we do not understand more about animals. Dogs sure do their best to understand us and love us no matter what.

@GingerPeachI have a dog.....many of them over the years and sorry but I would never compare the adoption of my grandson or myself to the adoption of an animal.