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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,977
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers


@Panda123 wrote:

A aunt just passed and I was getting ready to send flowers from myself, husband and children. My brother called to say he took care of it meaning one arrangement with all of our names on it....his family and mine. I think we are too old for this, besides it looks cheap. Any thoughts?


we do this

makes sense to me 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,930
Registered: ‎05-09-2016

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers


@aroc3435 wrote:

@Panda123 I'm sure your brother was just trying to helpful.  Why not have a fruit basket sent to your aunt's family or a nice arrangement of plants for the home.  Many florists have these options available.

 

If your children are not grown up how about a floral heart arrangement that can be placed in the open casket.

 

Hope this helps.  I know customs for funerals can vary so much from region to region, religious practices, and family preferences.


This is exactly why I wait until I'm able to find out what the family's wishes are before doing anything. Do they even want flowers? When my parents passed away, we specifically requested that people not send flowers, yet they did so anyway. Rather than sending yet another arrangement or basket, I would suggest a heartfelt note of condolence and perhaps a donation to a charity of the family's choice. 

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,787
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

My siblings and I used to send a funeral arrangement from all of us to the funeral home, but we have decided not to do that anymore.

 

These arrangements are super expensive and hardly noticed. The card is taken off of the arrangement, given to the family to write thank you cards, and the flowers are tossed on the closed grave in a heap.

 

We now send a nice potted plant or nice flower arrangement to the home of the family.  We received several potted plants when my MIL passes.  That has been years ago and some of them are still alive.  They remind me of the sender and my MIL when I water them weekly.

 

Often, the family requests no flowers, but prefers a donation be made.  Sending flowers is very nice, but when you think about it, it is a waste of flowers and money.

 

If it is customary to send flowers to the funeral home in your area, I think it is okay to send one arrangement representing the whole family.

Occasional Contributor
Posts: 19
Registered: ‎10-23-2018

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

I personally do not care for flowers at funerals. I make a donation to the family’s favorite charity. The family will not remember the flowers. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,735
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

Do you know if he sent a casket spray or a floral wreath tha stands up? I would send a casket spray like the one DD ordered for my mothers casket; it was gorgeous; pink roses that covered a large part of the casket; I know my mother would have loved it. I would not hesitate to send whatever you want; a peace lily plant for the home, flowers for the funeral, or whatever you like.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,026
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

I don't think it looks cheap at all. I think it shows that the family they are from really cares. My Mother is eighty seven and in our extended family when we do it we always put her name and family on the card. It lets people know which family they are from as sometimes in an extended family people can identify with that person and their family. Now we always send individual sympathy cards to the family also.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,787
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers


@lovesrecess wrote:
Do you know if he sent a casket spray or a floral wreath tha stands up? I would send a casket spray like the one DD ordered for my mothers casket; it was gorgeous; pink roses that covered a large part of the casket; I know my mother would have loved it. I would not hesitate to send whatever you want; a peace lily plant for the home, flowers for the funeral, or whatever you like.

What would happen if several casket sprays were received?  This type of arrangement is taken care of by the immediate family.  Only one will fit on top of the casket.

 

Everyone else sends free standing arrangements.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,561
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

Just send a card for visit.  YOu can see from above that all people are different.  For me personally I would not want to deal with plants.  I always hated to get them and never had time to see to them so they died and you felt bad about that.  

 

I cannot pass by some of those plants they always send without thinking of a funeral.

 

And me personally, I'd never touch an edible fruit arrangement!  Don't know where it's been.

 

All the above comments point to a lovely personal note and a card as a really safe option.  And truthfully I don't think the immediate family usually pays any attention to the flowers or who sent what. 

 

Also, if you have a good picture of the deceased, why not tuck one of those in a card?  Or is that not something you'd do?  Opinions please? 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,595
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

[ Edited ]
  1.  

@Panda123 

 

I view things such as flowers as much less less important than one's appearance at a wake or funeral as what IS important to the closest to the deceased. The size or cost of material things for most grieving are not important. The saying "it's the thought that counts" come to my mind.

 

 

 

hckynut

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,946
Registered: ‎12-24-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

This got complicated..............I would give brother $25 toward flowers and thank him for thinking of us......and send nothing more.....flowers said it all.