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Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,572
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

I rarely send floral tributes for funerals, as I can always find a better way to help the family.   I prefer to donate to the persons church, their favorite charity, or if the request is to donate to my favorite charity, my donation goes to local veterans. 

 

I would be extremely happy to go in with my family on funeral flowers, as the standing spray arrangement we normally send, costs $150.00!   If I didn’t give flowers to my loved one to enjoy when they were alive, I’m not spending big bucks for flowers to cover their grave.

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,448
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

It’s fine just send a card with a personal message inside. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,199
Registered: ‎11-24-2011

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

Here, at every graveside service following the church service that I've been to, including my husbands, many of the flower arrangements are placed on the ground near the casket and during the words spoken and prayers a funeral home person inconspicuously pulls flowers off and goes around handing one to every one there and your last gesture before leaving the graveside is to place the flower on the casket. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,185
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers


@RedTop wrote:

I rarely send floral tributes for funerals, as I can always find a better way to help the family.   I prefer to donate to the persons church, their favorite charity, or if the request is to donate to my favorite charity, my donation goes to local veterans. 

 

I would be extremely happy to go in with my family on funeral flowers, as the standing spray arrangement we normally send, costs $150.00!   If I didn’t give flowers to my loved one to enjoy when they were alive, I’m not spending big bucks for flowers to cover their grave.


@RedTop  This is how I feel.  Flowers from the funeral home (if not in a vase or other means to take home) generally are in the funeral home for such a short time, taken to the gravesite and often placed around the grave and left to rot in the sun and later removed by cemetery personnel so I much prefer to send a donation to a charity in the name of the deceased if it's specified.  I have seen flowers placed around the grave for a service but once ppl leave cemetery personnel pick up and deliver to local hospital lobbies, assisted living places or memory care places for residents to enjoy.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,378
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers


@Mom2Dogs wrote:

@panda1234 ....I'd probably let it go and as another posted mentioned you could send a fruit basket and of course I'd send a card...

 

but why didn't he ask you before taking control..that sort of thing irks me.


@Mom2Dogs  Irks me too. I think he knew I would fuss about it and also he was trying to save me money. I am going to give him half of what I think the cost is. And it will have to be in gift card form because he would never take cash from me. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,192
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

it's fine happens a lot

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,378
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers


@Financialgrl wrote:

@RedTop wrote:

I rarely send floral tributes for funerals, as I can always find a better way to help the family.   I prefer to donate to the persons church, their favorite charity, or if the request is to donate to my favorite charity, my donation goes to local veterans. 

 

I would be extremely happy to go in with my family on funeral flowers, as the standing spray arrangement we normally send, costs $150.00!   If I didn’t give flowers to my loved one to enjoy when they were alive, I’m not spending big bucks for flowers to cover their grave.


@RedTop  This is how I feel.  Flowers from the funeral home (if not in a vase or other means to take home) generally are in the funeral home for such a short time, taken to the gravesite and often placed around the grave and left to rot in the sun and later removed by cemetery personnel so I much prefer to send a donation to a charity in the name of the deceased if it's specified.  I have seen flowers placed around the grave for a service but once ppl leave cemetery personnel pick up and deliver to local hospital lobbies, assisted living places or memory care places for residents to enjoy.


@Financialgrl  and @RedTop  Totally agree with you.....food for the deer to eat. This is something that that generation did and somehow find value in it, not me. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,378
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers


@hckynut wrote:
  1.  

@panda1234 

 

I view things such as flowers as much less less important than one's appearance at a wake or funeral as what IS important to the closest to the deceased. The size or cost of material things for most grieving are not important. The saying "it's the thought that counts" come to my mind.

 

 

 

hckynut


@hckynut   I agree with you but this family thinks differently. The size and cost does matter to them. I think they use that to measure their importance in the community. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,215
Registered: ‎08-28-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

We have always sent flowers as a group.  At this time believe me noone is thinking someone's being cheap.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,572
Registered: ‎09-01-2010

Re: A question regarding funeral flowers

@lovesrecess,

In my area, the casket spray arrangement is chosen by the family when they make the funeral arrangements.   This floral arrangement is usually the most lavish and beautiful of all, and I have seen some that were simply breathtaking.   

 

When my Papaw died in 1977, his red rose casket spray was $75.00, my FIL’s was $150.00 in the 90’s, my dad’s was $200.00 in 2004, and my MIL’s was $350.00 just 8 years ago.   With my in-laws, we had specific colored roses for the children, another color for the grandchildren, and another color for the great grandchildren.   The funeral director removed those roses, and handed them out to the family at the end of the short service at the cemetery.