Among Friends

[CHIP62]

@Vickiv,

Wow! I admire your courage and compassion, what a role model.

I never experienced any kind of abuse however your reaction proves how the good prevails over the evil🌻

[LurkyLoo]

Another very nice and moving thread, @Still keeper of the koi.

My heart goes out to many here who have suffered terrible abuse. I can relate somewhat- my father was a cold, distant.. hardened type of man. What haunts me most, all these years later, was how he treated our gentle mother. Both are long gone now, but yes.. the memories remain and I don't acknowledge that because I want or need pity. I have survived it and at my advanced age with multiple health issues.. will likely not need to live on with these memories much longer anyway. Just agreeing- affirming what others here have revealed about abuse and the long term consequences. Thankfully I and my siblings were not so shattered to repeat the cycle, though my younger sister never married or had children. She also suffers with terrible anxiety and what might be labeled "serious trust issues." Can't let herself get too close with anyone- fears vulnerability and moved far away from where we grew up. Never revisits the area. 

When others find the strength and courage to speak to their suffering, it's never my place to judge. I believe in the Golden Rule, so my place is to show mercy and compassion however, and whenever I am able. If a few, who if don't know personally are making up or exaggerating for attention, law suit profits, or whatever.. that is their problem. They may have a type of mental or emotional disorder causing them to behave that way. Safest for my own soul and best for my conscience, to give the benefit of the doubt and just pray for them, if I can't help in any other way. 

[Hippiified]

@LurkyLoo

Thank you for your beautiful sentiments!

[CHIP62]

@Fiero Woman,

I am so sorry that you were bullied for 15 precious years of your life but look at you now your are a lady made of steel with a big golden heart🌻

[LoveMyBaby]

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@dulwich wrote:

@Moonchilde  I so agree with your thread abd there us definitely all kinds of abuse.  As a young child I can never remember my Father touching me, holding my hand, talking to me, heaven forbid a father- daughter kiss, or even a conversation.  Only once - I was about 10 y.o. he allowed me to accompany him to the afternoon movie show - we walked through thick snow, he turned to me at the cinema asked me for my admittance money - which I did not have so he told me to go back home and he went on into the show.

@dulwich

This just really breaks my heart (as does all of the experiences of the fellow posters). Ugh, dispicable 'man'. 

[Moonchilde]

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@LoveMyBaby wrote:

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@dulwich wrote:

@Moonchilde  I so agree with your thread abd there us definitely all kinds of abuse.  As a young child I can never remember my Father touching me, holding my hand, talking to me, heaven forbid a father- daughter kiss, or even a conversation.  Only once - I was about 10 y.o. he allowed me to accompany him to the afternoon movie show - we walked through thick snow, he turned to me at the cinema asked me for my admittance money - which I did not have so he told me to go back home and he went on into the show.

@dulwich

This just really breaks my heart (as does all of the experiences of the fellow posters). Ugh, dispicable 'man'. 

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It doesn’t excuse them, but many parents, both mother and father, were born when times, Mother Nature and life in general were tough. They tried to teach their kids that the world is a rough place and you need to be able to cope and survive in it. They believed what they did needed to be done.  So even if I don’t excuse it or agree with it, I can see the why.

Other cruelties can come from parents and grandparents being abused themselves. It isn’t okay either, but it’s very common.  Who knows why some abused people do not abuse and some do; I will always wonder, since my emotionally abused mother emotionally abused me, and I would never think of raising a child as either she or her mother were raised - I would know it was cruel and not want to do anything like that, but others repeat and repeat.

[Still keeper of the koi]

@Moonchilde, people show themselves at some point.Once I tried to help a person here,I was piled on, but never once thanked by the poster.I think we all see the same now.Thank you for your human compassion thoughts.I am pleased to see only one with contempt for pain.Thanks again,MaryAnne 

[dulwich]

@Moonchilde  Your comment gave me food for thought in that my Father's mother lived in the village in Wales where my sister and I were evacuated to during the bombing of London WWII -  we thought we would be housed with Grandmother.  No way she would not have us we were in the village hall awaiting someone who would take both of us - my Mother told us not to be separated.  Lady who took us lived at house #1 and our Grandmother at #49 same street! she very rarely saw it spoke to us.

Now makes me wonder how my Father was treated as a child behaviors passed from generation to generation! As you pointed out.

Ironically enough I loved and love my Dad - don't know why.  Us humans are very complicated!

[Moonchilde]

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@dulwich wrote:

@Moonchilde  Your comment gave me food for thought in that my Father's mother lived in the village in Wales where my sister and I were evacuated to during the bombing of London WWII -  we thought we would be housed with Grandmother.  No way she would not have us we were in the village hall awaiting someone who would take both of us - my Mother told us not to be separated.  Lady who took us lived at house #1 and our Grandmother at #49 same street! she very rarely saw it spoke to us.

Now makes me wonder how my Father was treated as a child behaviors passed from generation to generation! As you pointed out.

Ironically enough I loved and love my Dad - don't know why.  Us humans are very complicated!

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Wow, @dulwich, some kind of history there, for sure.  Sometimes, children are considered just mouths to feed, or something you “have to” put up with by older generations; less so with younger generations I think.

I’ll never know it all for sure in my situation. My grandmother put it about that she was mistreated by the typical cruel stepmother, but the relatives I’ve connected with don’t speak of any abuse they ever heard about. It’s quite possible it was true, but equally possible it’s not. At any rate, since I remember her well, I do know that she at least was a b***h indeedy, as they say.

[dulwich]

@Moonchilde   Weren't we the lucky ones!  However we both seem to be moving forward and that is good for us.  Have a good Sunday dear friend.