Among Friends

[texanbybirth]

My family had a similar experience with our parents when they were moved to an assisted living facility (The Isle at Watercrest, Bryan, TX). All was okay on her jewelry until she ended up extended time in the hospital. Our dad was totally bedbound. It was after mother went to the hospital that her fine jewelry items were taken. We discussed with the facility administrator who said they told new residents to secure valuables with them. Should we as children living here in town have known better than to leave valuables in the room?  Of course we should have, but life gets in the way when your mother is critically ill in the hospital for weeks at a time and other maters get less priority.  We ended up losing all her fine jewelry with the administrator not offering to look into it. (We had a couple of suspects.) We filed a police report for her jewelry valued at $13,000 but it was too late at that point. Her wedding rings were all that was left because she wore to the hospital.)  I know of other people with parents in facilities who have had even basic things like perfum taken when residents go to hospital. If in an independent living facility, lock up things like extra soap and basic apartment house needs.  I only wish we knew now ALL the details of what we should have known when seeking a good facility and getting them transitioned!  In general, (1) research your facility options CAREFULLY--ours was very nice looking but we had many concerns about security and care of our parents (2) secure ALL valuables and fine items, and either keep at child's home or rent a safe deposit box.  (3) Keep in mind that many employees of these facilities--especially after hours--are often working 2nd and 3rd jobs to pay their bills, and the temptation unfortunately, can be there in front for some of them.  Our parents have both passed on and we continue to be devastated at their poor treatment and bad experience at their last location.

[ALRATIBA]

I would hope you are filing a police report.  Depending on where you live ... preying on the elderly can be quite a serious crime.

The agency who provided the caregivers should have a record of who had access.

[happycat]

Its really too bad that this happens so often. I don't know how people sleep at night, really, who do things like this.

This is where a hidden camera would come in handy, in my opinion. I use to work with the elderly, and honestly, all of them told me stories of things that had gone missing when they had to get caregivers. From money, to jewelry, to anything else someone thought they wanted. And these people were in their own homes.

I really do think hidden cameras are a good idea.

Sorry this happened to you, @Shanus.

[4kitties]

My neighbor did file a report with the police about her wedding rings.  But since there were other family members in and out of the home she had no proof that the caregivers stole them. 

Maybe be the best thing is to have cameras in the home.  If there was video evidence maybe then there could be a case. 

[OKPrincess]

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@Shanus wrote:

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@OKPrincess wrote:

@Shanus

I hope the agency does something about it so don’t hesitate to report it. Did they really think the disappearance of money and items would go unnoticed?

Most of the time I’m easy going but do something like this, I won’t let it go especially when I’m in a very vulnerable state.

Im sorry for anyone who has been taken advantage of. 

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@OKPrincess  Good morning. Unfortunately with help 24/7, we’re talking about at least 7-8 different caregivers each week...also with keys, they could let in friends or relatives. It’s a bad system, but no other way to handle it unless someone lived with her.

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Let this be a reminder to be sure valuables are safely taken out of the home. 

I admire your forgiving attitude so you can focus on your most valuable, priceless asset Mom. 🙏🏻

[patbz]

My parents were cared for in their home by full-time caregivers for thirteen years and nothing was taken.  We had a team lead who really kept them in line (and they all had known one another for years).  Once my Dad died and I moved Mom to a facility I hired a personal caregiver (my hire, not on Home's payroll).  She came in daily for four hours and let me know if things weren't up to snuff and changes were made immediately.  Of course, I was there frequently as well.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease!

[software]

@Shanus   I wish I could say I'm surprised, but sadly no.

Same at the facility.    If you think she won't get robbed blind there too, think again.

My dad's wheelchair came up missing.    They had to replace it but WTF???

We had his name in everything, even his clothing.   I visited him every day but Friday, they knew it, but still had the nerve to steal from him.    A dying veteran, greatest generation.

I'm sorry you have to experience this.

[golding76]

Shanus,

I am truly upset that this, too, has happened.  Like you, I would think that trust would be an assumed virtue -- especially at this time.  Where are the hearts of helpers and others these days? 

Sometimes, even in the best of families, when a loved one is transitioning to a place where earlhly possessions cannot go, the vulture side comes out.  Makes me remember that dreadful scene from Zorba the Greek in which the female villagers hang around waiting for Madame Hortense's last breath in order to swoop in and take her belongings.

Such ugliness of the soul.  Please report and try to have items/money returned. 

Prayers with you.

[qvcaddition]

I don,t know how often you were able to visit your mom or your circumstances, but because i,m elderly, but still able to take care of myself, I rarely see my children and might hear from one son once a week.

Recently, I was asked if my Grandson could stay a few nights, from a son  that lives 2 miles from me who never has time to call..  I agreed because I,m old school, you help family.  I hid everything of importance, CC, book of passwords, Jewerly cases, etc.  This Grandson is trying to get his life together and doing well, but I don,t trust him.  I could not let him sleep in the cold, but also had to protect myelf.

He only stayed three nights and I don,t hear from his father now again. I guess the point I am trying to make, forgive me, is my family would not check up on me and they live close, so if I as incapacitated, I could be taken advantage by a caregiver if they never see family checking.  Again, I don,t know your circumstances, so am not judging.

[SeaMaiden]

@Shanus  Just WOW. That is very disturbing and upsetting.  People can be so selfish and self serving.  How do they live with themselves. Human nature at  its worst.

So sorry to hear this... and all the difficult  things going on in your life right now.  I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that things get easier  for you ((HUGS))  ~SeaMaiden~