topic Re: Dealing with Anxiety in Among Friends

Dealing with Anxiety

gellen — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 22:29:42 GMT

Good afternoon everyone. I am currently waiting for some possible information to come in the mail. Since this will be very important to my quality of life even thought it is not health related I am, neessarily quite anxious about it. The possibility is that I might not receive this crucial information for a couple of weeks. Do you have any suggestions with dealing with anxiety? I think my family and friends feel I am overreacting but I know the stress is real. Thanks for any relaxation techniques you have!

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

Ms X — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 22:34:32 GMT

Keep busy. Exercise, as you don't feel anxious during that period. Remind yourself to just hang on and tough it out when you feel as if you are going to get really upset. Just hang on. You can do it if you try.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

Kachina624 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 22:35:31 GMT

Distract yourself and find something to occupy your mind. Read a book, do a hobby, take a long walk, go to the movies, meet friends and don't talk about your anxieties...anything.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

GSPgirl — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 22:40:34 GMT

Yes. Learn to deep breathe. It has saved my life. Go to YouTube and look up Dr. Weil's deep breathing method. It helps to calm your nerves and helps you to sleep. Also there is a free app called Breathe 2 Relax that was made for returning soldiers from Iraq to deal with injuries and stress. I thought it was a joke at first until I started to deep breathe. Dr Weil also has a great cd you can follow along to, so you can learn to breathe. Deep breathing was recommended by my doctor. I deep breathe everywhere, in the line at the grocery store to being held up in traffic. It works. Good luck.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

ms traditional — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 22:51:07 GMT

my approach would be different. i use this in my job where i have to prepare for many different unpredictable outcomes all the time. i take each possible scenario and i figure out what my response will be. i decide on several plans - for the worst possible case, what will i do? for the best possible case; for that something in the middle, etc. that way i have plans - and i stop feeling powerless. when i start worrying again, i remind myself that i have plans in place. i write down my plans, so i can pull them out and re-read them. it doesn't make anxiety go away, but it does help control it. anyway, i hope it all works out for you.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

Frosted Cake — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 01:41:46 GMT

I'm a walking anxiety ridden gal. I worry all the time. I have had some issues in life and I seem to look for the bad in things. I have fears I never had before.

I've tried the deep breathing, but it doesn't remove the anxiety for me, just calms me at the moment.

Sometimes my fears keep me in my house. I go out, but not at night anymore. I'm afraid to drive at night. I am suddenly alone after many years, and it's been hard.

I read a lot of books on anxiety that help, I watch programs where they offer advice. I try to watch funny shows or movies to help me laugh and relax a bit.

I know what you mean about anxiety. I think I'm wired to be worried. I wish I could find peace and harmony again.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

Mominohio — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 02:09:13 GMT

@ms traditional wrote:
my approach would be different. i use this in my job where i have to prepare for many different unpredictable outcomes all the time. i take each possible scenario and i figure out what my response will be. i decide on several plans - for the worst possible case, what will i do? for the best possible case; for that something in the middle, etc. that way i have plans - and i stop feeling powerless. when i start worrying again, i remind myself that i have plans in place. i write down my plans, so i can pull them out and re-read them. it doesn't make anxiety go away, but it does help control it. anyway, i hope it all works out for you.

This is exactly how I approach the unknown. Once all those scenarios are addressed and responses/actions for each thought through, I feel better.

I also have a practice of telling myself that 'it is what it is'.

If this is something that is already a done deal, you just don't have the final information/notification (like the results of a medical test, although I know you said it was not that), it is what it is, and can't be changed. Just embracing that helps me settle down. I tell myself that I can't change the news that is coming, but I can, once I have that news, move on with one of my pre decided plans of action.

In the meantime, I spend a lot of time doing routine things and getting a lot of needed things done, so I don't have to deal with them if the news I'm awaiting takes me away from my ability (or time or place) to do those things.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

stargazergal — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 03:28:51 GMT

I just wanted to say I was sorry to hear that you have been dealing with anxiety

for such a long time..... please consider talking to your doctor about it. It is

no way to go through life on a daily basis. I have been prescibed antidepressant

for anxiety at one time or another when I felt it not going away. It was

so helpful. Please find the courage to make a phone call. Anxiety is real,

and it can be debilitating. Wishing you the very best and I so hope you

know that you do not have to live like this every day.

Take good care and sending you a Hug !

@Frosted Cake wrote:
I'm a walking anxiety ridden gal. I worry all the time. I have had some issues in life and I seem to look for the bad in things. I have fears I never had before.

I've tried the deep breathing, but it doesn't remove the anxiety for me, just calms me at the moment.

Sometimes my fears keep me in my house. I go out, but not at night anymore. I'm afraid to drive at night. I am suddenly alone after many years, and it's been hard.

I read a lot of books on anxiety that help, I watch programs where they offer advice. I try to watch funny shows or movies to help me laugh and relax a bit.

I know what you mean about anxiety. I think I'm wired to be worried. I wish I could find peace and harmony again.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

gellen — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 10:29:36 GMT

Thanks so much for all the excellent advice. I live alone and sometimes you just need good ideas from the great QVC ladies!

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

qualitygal — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 10:41:51 GMT

I'm a "certified" (by me) worrywort. It's better now, but I try to think, Give it to God. I was always, taking the problem back and never letting it go really though. Then I read, He can't do anything about it, until you do, totally give it over to Him. And, I prayed a lot!!! It was to help me with areas that were new and unknown to me. The unknown is horrible to live through and then you see it's all you can do. Worry never changes anything, it never improves anything, and it doesn't solve anything.

So, sorry it's so long, but then I took a blank piece of paper. Made pictures of balloons, wrote the worry in each one, and as things came around and happened, I was able to cross it off and let that balloon go. It showed me how senseless my worrying was. How all these things I worried about, never came to pass or turned out as horrible as I imagined it would. It gave me something to do with my anxiety, worry and casting a huge shadow of fear and doubt on things.

That's how I worked through some tough, unknown times. Hope this might help.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

qualitygal — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 10:43:29 GMT

@ms traditional wrote:
my approach would be different. i use this in my job where i have to prepare for many different unpredictable outcomes all the time. i take each possible scenario and i figure out what my response will be. i decide on several plans - for the worst possible case, what will i do? for the best possible case; for that something in the middle, etc. that way i have plans - and i stop feeling powerless. when i start worrying again, i remind myself that i have plans in place. i write down my plans, so i can pull them out and re-read them. it doesn't make anxiety go away, but it does help control it. anyway, i hope it all works out for you.

@ms traditional, excellent advice and I've done that before too, and you're absolutely right. I agree.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

dooBdoo — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 18:59:25 GMT

mominohio wrote:
ms traditional wrote:
my approach would be different. i use this in my job where i have to prepare for many different unpredictable outcomes all the time. i take each possible scenario and i figure out what my response will be. i decide on several plans - for the worst possible case, what will i do? for the best possible case; for that something in the middle, etc. that way i have plans - and i stop feeling powerless. when i start worrying again, i remind myself that i have plans in place. i write down my plans, so i can pull them out and re-read them. it doesn't make anxiety go away, but it does help control it. anyway, i hope it all works out for you.

This is exactly how I approach the unknown. Once all those scenarios are addressed and responses/actions for each thought through, I feel better.

I also have a practice of telling myself that 'it is what it is'.

If this is something that is already a done deal, you just don't have the final information/notification (like the results of a medical test, although I know you said it was not that), it is what it is, and can't be changed. Just embracing that helps me settle down. I tell myself that I can't change the news that is coming, but I can, once I have that news, move on with one of my pre decided plans of action.

In the meantime, I spend a lot of time doing routine things and getting a lot of needed things done, so I don't have to deal with them if the news I'm awaiting takes me away from my ability (or time or place) to do those things.

This is such good, practical advice, @ms traditional and @Mominohio. In therapy, having these thoughts and worries about what might happen is sometimes called "catastrophizing" -- and we can really do a number on ourselves if we let it spiral out of control.

I learned to do what you both suggested when I took the Dale Carnegie course... reading his book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" was a life-changer for me. (Here's a nice synopsis: http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/stop-worry.html)

I learned to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen," write down all the possibilities, and then determine what I'd do if each one did happen. In most cases, I find the "worst things" never do happen (statistics show most of the things we worry about never come to pass) but feeling prepared for them is a powerfully effective dose of peace for the mind and soul.

@gellen, I hope everything turns out well for you.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

RedTop — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 18:59:26 GMT

I come from a family of worriers. When my grandmother was worried, she cried, walked the floor and wrung her hands. Drove me nuts. When my aunt was worried, she shut herself in her bedroom, to read and sleep. My mom walks the floor and smokes cigarettes nonstop when she's worried. I have told my mom many times, that she worries when she doesn't have something to worry about! As a teenager, I saw my Mom make herself physically ill for 8 weeks because of being worried.

I personally don't overthink things and stress myself to worry; I do however have concerns I pray about. When I pray, I visualize that I am placing my concerns directly in God's hands, and believe it is all up to him from that point. I know I am strong; mentally and physically, and I have faith that I can cope with whatever I cannot change.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

goldensrbest — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 19:33:50 GMT

My mom is a worrier, what if this happens,or that, i have some of that,mostly mine is depression, i pray,read the bible.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

dooBdoo — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 20:14:41 GMT

"Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength -- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~Corrie ten Boom

I think this article is helpful to put things into perspective:

"The Fog of Worry (Only 8% of Worries are Worth It) Article by: Earl Nightingale

According to the Bureau of Standards, “A dense fog covering seven city blocks, to a depth of 100 feet, is composed of something less than one glass of water.” So, if all the fog covering seven city blocks, 100 feet deep, were collected and held in a single drinking glass, it would not even fill it.

And this could be compared to our worries. If we can see into the future and if we could see our problems in their true light, they wouldn’t tend to blind us to the world, to living itself, but instead could be relegated to their true size and place.

And if all the things most people worry about were reduced to their true size, you could probably put them all into a drinking glass, too...

...here’s an authoritative estimate of what most people worry about.

Things that never happen: 40 percent. That is, 40 percent of the things you worry about will never occur anyway.
Things over and past that can’t be changed by all the worry in the world: 30 percent.
Needless worries about our health: 12 percent.
Petty, miscellaneous worries: 10 percent.
Real, legitimate worries: 8 percent. Only 8 percent of your worries are worth concerning yourself about.

Ninety-two percent are pure fog with no substance at all."

source: http://www.nightingale.com/articles/the-fog-of-worry-only-8-of-worries-are-worth-it/

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

fortune — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 19:40:44 GMT

@Frosted Cake wrote:
I'm a walking anxiety ridden gal. I worry all the time. I have had some issues in life and I seem to look for the bad in things. I have fears I never had before.

I've tried the deep breathing, but it doesn't remove the anxiety for me, just calms me at the moment.

Sometimes my fears keep me in my house. I go out, but not at night anymore. I'm afraid to drive at night. I am suddenly alone after many years, and it's been hard.

I read a lot of books on anxiety that help, I watch programs where they offer advice. I try to watch funny shows or movies to help me laugh and relax a bit.

I know what you mean about anxiety. I think I'm wired to be worried. I wish I could find peace and harmony again.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make you anxiety free! The fact is, you may be wired to be anxious. Meet with your primary physician and ask to be put on a medication, such as Xanax, for your anxiety. Does anxiety run in your family? Best wishes to you!!!

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

meem120 — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 20:06:33 GMT

You might want to watch Lester Holt's Nightly news program this week. They will be discussing new ways to help people deal with anxiety. I think theyre talking about it all week.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

chickenbutt — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 22:06:02 GMT

I agree about keeping busy/distracted, exercise, and most of all for me what helps is making a HUGE effort to be calm as much as possible.

Just fairly recently I've been having some issues with anxiety and the best thing I seem to be able to do for myself is make a super conscious effort to calm myself. Whatever helps for calming - slow, deep breathing, etc.

I've gotten panic attacks a few times in the past and I'll tell ya what - it took only a couple of times for me to tell myself that I did NOT want to have to deal with that again. So I recognized when it was sneaking up on me and learned to just stop everything NOW and get myself into a calm place. Once you figure out how to put the brakes on it, you CAN stop it and then it becomes more automatic.

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

tedEbear — Sat, 23 Apr 2016 22:24:44 GMT

@dooBdoo------That 8 percent is what I worry about 92 percent of the time.------tedEbear

Re: Dealing with Anxiety

Tinkrbl44 — Sun, 24 Apr 2016 16:24:05 GMT

@ms traditional wrote:
my approach would be different. i use this in my job where i have to prepare for many different unpredictable outcomes all the time. i take each possible scenario and i figure out what my response will be. i decide on several plans - for the worst possible case, what will i do? for the best possible case; for that something in the middle, etc. that way i have plans - and i stop feeling powerless. when i start worrying again, i remind myself that i have plans in place. i write down my plans, so i can pull them out and re-read them. it doesn't make anxiety go away, but it does help control it. anyway, i hope it all works out for you.

@ms traditional

Excellent approach ..... asking "what's the worst that can happen?" and having a game plan dissipates the whole worry cycle.

I think worrying is just negative self-indulgence and such a waste of time and energy. Life is too short to drown in a mental sea of "what ifs".