topic Re: RSVP in Among Friends

RSVP

Abrowneyegirl — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 02:45:53 GMT

I do not know why this bothers me, but it does.......

When I receive a wedding invite, I like to send back the RSVP right away before it gets lost, I forget or lose it.

The last 2 invites we received had NO return address on the RSVP envelope or postage!!!!!!! Grrrrr

Now I have to find out to whom I send the RSVP to, is it the Bride, Groom, Parents, Maid/Matron of Honor.....?

I got one VM back, send it to "XYZ". Thank you, but I need XYZ address.......Grrrrr

I had a young co-worker tell me that failure to put address/postage on RSVP's is to force the guests into wedding website to RSVP online. Grrrrrr

I do not know why this irks me but it does.

Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

thank you

Re: RSVP

Carmie — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 03:39:15 GMT

OMG! That is so wrong not too send an addressed return envelope with postage so that guests can RSVP.

Where are the manners and wedding etiquette?

I would be tempted to just ignore the invite altogether and just toss it out.

I once received an invite where because of an oversight, I never received the RSVP card. The MOB called me to see if we were attending because they didn't receive our reply. We were not aware that we were supposed to RSVP. Maybe your invite was missing the addressed card with postage due to an oversight ???

Re: RSVP

athenian — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 05:36:24 GMT

For years invitees were expected to RSVP by writing a response on their own social stationary and mailing it themselves to the return address on the invitation. My mother and her friends were insulted when response cards first started to appear in invitations because they thought it implied they didn't know the correct form for RSVP.

Re: RSVP

Starpolisher — Mon, 01 Aug 2016 20:17:01 GMT

The last wedding invite I received had no postage either. It bothered me also!

One thing I did like about the RSVP though. It said something like " a reservation has been made for ____ people to attend." The blank had the number of people and you checked yes or no for attending. I wish I had known about this wording for my son's wedding and my mom's 85th birthday party. Both those invites said number attending. Well, you invite Mr. and Mrs.(2) and they RSVP 3,4,5 etc. Even after I made calls explaining only the people addressed on the envelope were invited I still had one couple bring an extra family member to my moms party. They had only responded for the 2 invited. Geesh! What's wrong with people! Is a free meal really that important!

Re: RSVP

Abrowneyegirl — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:42:51 GMT

@Carmie That was my first thought, it was an over-sight. Unfortunitly it was not, none of the envolpes were addressed or stamped..... sigh

@athenian This made me smile. My have times changed.

Re: RSVP

Abrowneyegirl — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 11:50:31 GMT

@Starpolisher wrote:
The last wedding invite I received had no postage either. It bothered me also!

One thing I did like about the RSVP though. It said something like " a reservation has been made for ____ people to attend." The blank had the number of people and you checked yes or no for attending. I wish I had known about this wording for my son's wedding and my mom's 85th birthday party. Both those invites said number attending. Well, you invite Mr. and Mrs.(2) and they RSVP 3,4,5 etc. Even after I made calls explaining only the people addressed on the envelope were invited I still had one couple bring an extra family member to my mom's party. They had only responded for the 2 invited. Geesh! What's wrong with people! Is a free meal really that important!

LOL. I feel your pain.

When we got married (9 years ago) I had already heard too many RSVP stories of 5 people showing up on a Mr/Mrs invite. So for the FEW people I thought could be a 'problem' I had handwritten calligraphy RSVPs written noting the number of reservations in their names. No option for a write in #.

Re: RSVP

chrystaltree — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 15:00:13 GMT

Failing to put the address on the rsvp envelope makes no sense at all and borders on being stupid. I think people who do that don't really understand the rsvp process. I doubt that it's to force people to go online. If that were the case, they would just omit the envelope and provide the link to rsvp. Which happened to me once for a bridal shower. it was one of those big, over the top, co-ed showers that is as big as the wedding. There was an rsvp card with the link to rsvp online.

Re: RSVP

Melania — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 15:27:40 GMT

Try waiting for replies when you did everything right. All the lazy invitees have to do is say yes or no, lick the envelope and mail it. It's rude!!

I'm in the midst of this right now and have to call about 8 people to find out if they are coming...grrr.

One relative didn't feel the need to let us know either way but would the first one to complain down the family pipeline if they didn't get a thank you.

So it works both ways...the people that do everything right get no credit.

Re: RSVP

ECBG — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 22:58:02 GMT

@Abrowneyegirl wrote:
I do not know why this bothers me, but it does.......
When I receive a wedding invite, I like to send back the RSVP right away before it gets lost, I forget or lose it.

The last 2 invites we received had NO return address on the RSVP envelope or postage!!!!!!! Grrrrr

Now I have to find out to whom I send the RSVP to, is it the Bride, Groom, Parents, Maid/Matron of Honor.....?

I got one VM back, send it to "XYZ". Thank you, but I need XYZ address.......Grrrrr

I had a young co-worker tell me that failure to put address/postage on RSVP's is to force the guests into wedding website to RSVP online. Grrrrrr

I do not know why this irks me but it does.
Sorry, had to get that off my chest.
thank you

@Abrowneyegirl,Do they ask for the reciept with the gift too? (Just had to ask!)

Re: RSVP

Abrowneyegirl — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 01:07:03 GMT

@ECBG

LOL!!!!!

My thought was to put a note in the Wedding card that says "your gift can be picked up at (blank)" and let them figure it out like I have to.

Re: RSVP

Abrowneyegirl — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 01:14:46 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
Failing to put the address on the rsvp envelope makes no sense at all and borders on being stupid. I think people who do that don't really understand the rsvp process. I doubt that it's to force people to go online. If that were the case, they would just ommit the envelope and provide the link to rsvp. Which happened to me once for a bridal shower. it was one of those big, over the top, co-ed showers that is as big as the wedding. There was an rsvp card with the link to rsvp online.

Good point- why even enclose the rsvp card at all???

I will add for the one wedding there is VERY little information on the invitation. Basically it is up to the invitee to go online to the bride/groom website look up addresses and locations for the reception etc. I feel very bad for people without Internet access.

Re: RSVP

Nataliesgramma — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 09:39:14 GMT

Sometimes I don't think technology is a good thing......and manners and good taste go out the window....

Re: RSVP

Imadickens — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 18:16:42 GMT

Please, tell me if its just me...I attended the wedding shower for future dil of a close friend. When I arrived I was handed an envelope to address for my thank you note! I felt this was in very poor taste and did not write on to see if she'd thank me anyway! Even tho my gift was very well liked by all, I got no note!

My dd and ds recently married. I insisted they write and address all their notes and quickly! My wedding gift thank you notes were mailed before I went on my honeymoon! (It used to be correct to give the gifts before the wedding day)

I am offended that the bride wouldn't check her notes against the gifts just to be sure! I would have! If the hostesses wished to save the bride work, THEY could have provided the addresses of the invitees with the list kept of who gave what. Was I wrong to be offended, or next time should I also take a stamp?

P.s. These people are children of doctors not uneducated people and should know better! Oh, I never got a note for the Waterford wedding gift either!

Re: RSVP

gacat123 — Wed, 27 Jul 2016 21:11:42 GMT

Vent Away! Along these same lines I am getting tired of sending a nice GIFT and getting no acknowledgement or thank you note. I even include my EMAIL address on the enclosed card with the gift. This includes all sorts of gifts not just wedding gifts. So Good Luck getting a thank you note these days!

What has happend to good manners?

I taught my 27yo son when he was very young that a thank you note, handwritten is always appropriate if someone goes to the trouble to give him a present. He is amazed when he gets a thank you note in the mail, it is that unusual these days.

CAT

Re: RSVP

Lipstickdiva — Thu, 28 Jul 2016 14:34:09 GMT

I wonder if this was a total oversight on none of the RSVP envelopes being addressed? I don't know how it could be but how could they not know they were supposed to address them?

@Imadickens, I detest having to write out my own envelope for a thank you and generally, I don't. I refuse to fill them out and just move the basket along, etc.

I recently attended a shower and one of the mothers throwing the shower (who is 60, not a young girl), said something about having everyone address an envelope for a thank you. Then she commented to me that she knew I hated that. I told her yes I did, I thought it was the height of tacky. You expect people to spend their time and money going out and buying a gift, spending a good portion of their Sunday afternoon attending the shower, many of them only have 2 days off and they are spending 1 for your kid, and then your child can't be bothered to fill out envelopes to send out a thank-you?

Re: RSVP

Imadickens — Thu, 28 Jul 2016 17:35:14 GMT

I'm so glad it wasn't just me! You made my day☺️

Re: RSVP

chrystaltree — Thu, 28 Jul 2016 20:08:17 GMT

@Imadickens wrote:
Please, tell me if its just me...I attended the wedding shower for future dil of a close friend. When I arrived I was handed an envelope to address for my thank you note! I felt this was in very poor taste and did not write on to see if she'd thank me anyway! Even tho my gift was very well liked by all, I got no note!

My dd and ds recently married. I insisted they write and address all their notes and quickly! My wedding gift thank you notes were mailed before I went on my honeymoon! (It used to be correct to give the gifts before the wedding day)

I am offended that the bride wouldn't check her notes against the gifts just to be sure! I would have! If the hostesses wished to save the bride work, THEY could have provided the addresses of the invitees with the list kept of who gave what. Was I wrong to be offended, or next time should I also take a stamp?

P.s. These people are children of doctors not uneducated people and should know better! Oh, I never got a note for the Waterford wedding gift either!

Well, you didn't address the envelope so you have no basis to complain that you did not receive a thank you. And you shouldn't have expected one. I agree handling the thank you situation like that was crass but it's the way the chose to handle it. And at least people (those who addressed the envelope) did get a thank you note.

Re: RSVP

Starpolisher — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 15:45:42 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
@Imadickens wrote:
Please, tell me if its just me...I attended the wedding shower for future dil of a close friend. When I arrived I was handed an envelope to address for my thank you note! I felt this was in very poor taste and did not write on to see if she'd thank me anyway! Even tho my gift was very well liked by all, I got no note!

My dd and ds recently married. I insisted they write and address all their notes and quickly! My wedding gift thank you notes were mailed before I went on my honeymoon! (It used to be correct to give the gifts before the wedding day)

I am offended that the bride wouldn't check her notes against the gifts just to be sure! I would have! If the hostesses wished to save the bride work, THEY could have provided the addresses of the invitees with the list kept of who gave what. Was I wrong to be offended, or next time should I also take a stamp?

P.s. These people are children of doctors not uneducated people and should know better! Oh, I never got a note for the Waterford wedding gift either!

Well, you didn't address the envelope so you have no basis to complain that you did not receive a thank you. And you shouldn't have expected one. I agree handling the thank you situation like that was crass but it's the way the chose to handle it. And at least people (those who addressed the envelope) did get a thank you note.

I agree with @Imadickens and others who think a thank you should come from the recipient of the gift. I also think the bride, mother to be, etc. should check their notes against the gifts and send a thank you whether or not I filled out an envelope. If I can spend my time and money on you, it's the least you can do! Even if it is not hand written except for the signature. Or written with the same standard line for everyone..." thank you for your generous gift...etc"... It should be their time and stamp. My addressing my own envelope and my stamp in my opinion is tacky, lazy and cheap! It will surely be the last gift you ever get from me!

Re: RSVP

WSfan — Sun, 31 Jul 2016 21:34:05 GMT

OK, sort of on the same note here......niece had a destination wedding in another state. All guests attending had to drive the almost 200 miles one way, and pay for a hotel room for at least one night's stay, wedding gift, gas to and from, and breakfast the following day. Thank you card arrives, at least one month after the wedding, (honeymoon at a later date) and it is a pre-printed thank you note with photos from the wedding saying something to the effect of "Thanks for celebrating our day with us.", and the bride and groom's name printed on it. No personal message, no thanks for the gift, no signature. Now I know I should be appreciative that I even received a thank you, but we had to spend money getting to and from the location, renting a room to sleep and food the following day, plus someone to take care of our pets for the time we were gone. I should think that the least I could receive is a handwritten thank you for their gift. As someone said, etiquette is going out the window,and that's not a good thing. Comments,anyone? I'd love to hear them.

Re: RSVP

Abrowneyegirl — Mon, 01 Aug 2016 01:13:12 GMT

@WSfan wrote:
OK, sort of on the same note here......niece had a destination wedding in another state. All guests attending had to drive the almost 200 miles one way, and pay for a hotel room for at least one night's stay, wedding gift, gas to and from, and breakfast the following day. Thank you card arrives, at least one month after the wedding, (honeymoon at a later date) and it is a pre-printed thank you note with photos from the wedding saying something to the effect of "Thanks for celebrating our day with us.", and the bride and groom's name printed on it. No personal message, no thanks for the gift, no signature. Now I know I should be appreciative that I even received a thank you, but we had to spend money getting to and from the location, renting a room to sleep and food the following day, plus someone to take care of our pets for the time we were gone. I should think that the least I could receive is a handwritten thank you for their gift. As someone said, etiquette is going out the window,and that's not a good thing. Comments,anyone? I'd love to hear them.

I have to say the first time I got one of these 'thank you' photo copy mass mailings my jaw dropped! I took one look at it and threw it in the trash.

I was "busy" for their baby showers.