topic Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch in Among Friends

Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

ForumOlivia — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 18:21:09 GMT

I go to quite a few networking events as part of my volunteer activities. I seem to be a target for people who want to sell something - financial planning, life insurance, Mary Kay, consulting services, Ambit, you name it.

It's always a request to go for a drink/coffee/meal to get to know each other. But I'm pretty sure I know the real reason. I don't need anything. I've been turning them down by saying lets chat more at the next event. Then I avoid the next event!

My friend said she never turns anything down - it might lead to a good friendship, connection or new job. Hubby says to ask what the purpose is and just say no!

What do you think? How do you handle something like this without feeling awkward the next time you run into someone? Or should I go? Would love to hear your thoughts. TIA!

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

Peaches McPhee — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 18:32:40 GMT

I have turned down events like this, mostly becuase I don't want to go and I don't want to give the seller false hopes. I am honest, though, and say thanks, but I am not interested in the products. I don't think these types of "meetings" lead to friendships or jobs; just pressure and wasted time.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

Hooty — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 18:56:59 GMT

I think everyone gets these type of invitations in the mail, mostly investment brokers inviting you to a FREE meal at all sorts of restaurants and/or country clubs, just another sales pitch, and my DH & I have never and will never go!

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

VaBelle35 — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 19:40:01 GMT

@ForumOlivia wrote:

My friend said she never turns anything down - it might lead to a good friendship, connection or new job. Hubby says to ask what the purpose is and just say no!

I agree with this if you need a wider circle of friends and acquaintances for these purposes (now or possibly in the future).

I think if you approach it with that intent, it can be mutually beneficial. But if you're not into that, then keep doing what you're doing. Don't force yourself to go somewhere with someone if you don't feel like it. While it could turn out great, why go through the angst to get there.

I like the way you are handling it. So what if you didn't attend the next event. What I say to people at the gym where I go is "see you next time" and leave it at that.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

151949 — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 21:50:00 GMT

I say I am not intertested and hang up.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

Snowpuppy — Mon, 06 Jul 2015 22:36:50 GMT

I avoid most all of those invitations. It's a networking event for them, too. To make a sale, later.

Interesting because the younger generation tends to use Linkedin to make connections for jobs, etc rather than to attend face to face get togethers.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

Kachina624 — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 00:48:44 GMT

Since you go to these meet and greet events to meet people, then get upset when they call you later, I think I'd quit going to them. I don't understand why you go to begin with if you resent people following up with you.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

ForumOlivia — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 01:16:44 GMT

You totally misinterpreted my question. I am not upset or resentful. My organization asked me to attend to answer questions if anyone is interested in our work. I like doing this for them and I like meeting people. I was just curious how others react to invites under the guise of a friendship when it's really just for a sale.

Thanks to those of you who gave advice, it is appreciated!

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

Chrystaltree2 — Fri, 10 Jul 2015 17:12:13 GMT

I believe honesty is the best policy. I'd just come right out with it and ask "Is this a social invitation or do you want to sell me something?" If the answer is "I'm selling something you might like"; I'd smile and say "Thank you but I already have everything I need now" and I'd walk away. Some people are very social and they don't care why someone asks them to have coffee or lunch; they just like to talk and meet new people. I agree with your husband on this.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

ROMARY — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 00:59:45 GMT

I've attended (with friends) a few of those invites. The sales pitches were a bit too time consuming (and boring), so it really wasn't worth it to me.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

Mominohio — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 18:55:43 GMT

If I understand your dilemma correctly, this isn't about those things you get calls about or a card in the mail that says if you listen to a company's pitch, you win a free TV or something like that.

You are actually at a networking event, and approached by individuals.

I'd bet that many times, they like what they see in you. They may see you as a potential customer, or even a potential fellow 'employee'. And I'm sure there are a few who just would enjoy your company.

If it were me, I'd be flattered, but want to sort out just which of the above they were fishing about. I'd either be direct and ask their intentions and state mine, or if I had no interest in buying from, working for/with, or obtaining new friends, I'd just decline politely.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

beckyb1012 — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 15:33:52 GMT

The older I get the easier the word NO is able to come out of my mouth. I used to give all my time to everyone and was left for little for myself. Now I do not go anywhere I do not want (including some family functions), answer my door, or my phone if I do not feel like it. It finally dawned on me there are no police to check my "yes quota" to others or did I dust my coffee table this week!! Very freeing feeling.

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

Q4u — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 15:47:05 GMT

I's a fine line between cultivating contacts (even those selling something) and maintaining an arm's distance. You don't want to insult anyone because they may change jobs one day (and they do) and be in a position to help you or not, you want to maintain that contact (and not burn bridges) however saying no or being what may be perceived as abrasive is also not a good option for your reputation.

I think what you are doing by telling them that you may have more time at the next event when the two of you can discuss it further (but avoiding them the next time) is very good. Keeping the option open yet closing it at the same time if you can. While I believe in being open and honest sometimes the "massaging" we have to do at these events are necessary......

Unfortunately the dances we do are all part of business.....

Re: Networking and Invitations for Coffee/Lunch

goodstuff — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 19:57:18 GMT

If someone invited me to a social event for coffee or lunch with no mention of any other purpose and then turned the event into a sales meeting for Amway or Mary Kay, I would be more than a little irritated.

There's no doubt: I would say, "Oh, I didn't realize this was going to be a sales event! I'm sorry, but I'm not in the market for anything." And then I would pick up my purse and coat and firmly walk out.