topic Re: Recluse behavior anyone? in Among Friends

Recluse behavior anyone?

sarahpanda — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 06:44:11 GMT

I have a very outgoing personality in public - yet I find that I shy away from invitations to gatherings/ any social settings, etc. I wish I was different but I find 'peace' in my own little square box world. Anyone else relate?

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

spumoni99 — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 07:05:42 GMT

Yes I feel the exact same way.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

LTT1 — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 10:52:44 GMT

@sarahpanda @spumoni99

Exactly‼️🙂

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

JYWilliams — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 11:15:32 GMT

@sarahpanda, As I've gotten older I have. Years ago I use to love to travel, go to different sport games, have get togethers, going out to eat and to the movies etc Now not so much. But I'm happy with that. I've pretty much did all I wanted to do in life. It's a few places I still would like to go visit. Alaska and Canada being two of them.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

LTT1 — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 11:20:55 GMT

@sarahpanda @JYWilliams @spumoni99

I also fit into the category of "introvert".

Spending time in large groups of others leaves me very drained‼️

In recent years, I have analyzed my own behavior and found a few clues about why this is but trying to change it now just doesn't fit‼️

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

catter70 — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 12:01:29 GMT

That's me to a "T". I'm like that even with people I know well, if there's more than about 3 people.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

Skyegirl21 — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 12:08:15 GMT

I can relate too- i am an extrovert if out in public but choose to be a homebody most of the time- I rarely travel by choice. I find travel very draining and anxiety-provoking.

As another poster mentioned, the social "mask" is very draining. And it's a tough world these days... I'm happiest being home with my DH and my dog- But everyone has to find their own happiness!

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

AngelPuppy1 — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 12:23:37 GMT

I would not say that I am a recluse but I am not an extrovert. I do much better "one on one". I have never enjoyed or felt comfortable being with a large group of people or enjoyed parties. I am the most happy being a home with my husband. I do enjoy occasionally meeting a friend for breakfast or lunch. Also, I occasionally will talk to somebody a little bit when I am waiting for a dotor's appointment or say a word or two while shopping. I also like to give compliments - sincere ones. I find that most people are so happy to receive them and say --- you just made my day!

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

SoCal Bred — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 12:55:10 GMT

I have been retired for 6 years and have found myself to be more of a recluse now by choice, I meet up with about 2-3 friends for lunch several times a year to catch up but that's about it, I decline invites to get together with larger groups with previous past employees, it's just not my thing. I feel more comfortable just staying at home doing absolutely nothing if I choose or do whatever at my leisure without any pressure.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

Neetgal2 — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 12:55:46 GMT

If I can get myself out of the house to go to group activities or even shopping, I am fine. I just seem to sit inside, read, knit, exercise and occasionally cook, clean or sew. There is no reason I don't go out. I have a car and live in a nice town.☹️. Old age, I suppose.

wish it was different. Once I get out to group activities, I enjoy myself and others.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

Imaoldhippie — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 12:57:55 GMT

Yes I can, I have had a outgoing personality all my adult life until about the past 5 yrs Im 80 yrs old. I am perfectly happy staying home and in my house. When I have to go some place I dread it, but once I am out Im ok. And I do enjoy eating out.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

LIndaMJ — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 13:15:43 GMT

Oh yes, I can relate. I am as happy and content as can be staying home with DH. Once every 4-6 weeks a friend and I will meet for lunch, which is the extent of my social life.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

jlkz — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 13:43:42 GMT

@LTT1

When I read your post with the comment about having analyzed your situation, I had to respond !

One of the things that made me a good manager, a good consultant, a good adjunct professor, and a good seminar leader was the a,most instant ability to "read" others.

When I am in a group now ( 81 ), I find I still have that skill and the " knowledge " that comes with it makes me mentally tired. It's almost like reading a book with way too many characters involved in intricate situations. There is is the obvious "mask" being presented and then there are as many layers as there are folks to be impressed / managed.

That's what is tiring...I also would prefer to be anywhere with DH, especially on our front porch swing with a cup of tea and chocolate iced biscotti !!!

As aging occurs, my energy level evens out and needs to be recharged. That takes time and I only want to spend it where I am happy and my soul finds peace.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

JazzyGirl — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 13:55:40 GMT

This post made me smile! I believe as we get older, wiser, we do change our perspective on what our true needs are. Personally, I've had a very busy, active, high level of responsibility type of life. So now, I take more time to reflect on what is important to me, not everyone else, choosing calmness over drama and distance over foolishness and disrespect. You learn to prioritize your peace, mental health, and happiness. No excuses needed!! Be happy.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

Shanus — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 14:04:00 GMT

So true @jlkz . Many of my friends have passed or moved away. My social life revolves more around family events and even those get turned down if it involves a lot socializing.

I've always been outgoing and can definitely turn it back on when needed, but enjoy my quiet time at home whenever possible...and an afternoon nap to recharge.

Life's too short to be and do something we don't enjoy.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

CalminHeart — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 14:06:52 GMT

@sarahpanda wrote:
I have a very outgoing personality in public - yet I find that I shy away from invitations to gatherings/ any social settings, etc. I wish I was different but I find 'peace' in my own little square box world. Anyone else relate?

I'm with you. I'm very comfortable in my little world. I could easily become a recluse.

I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last fall. Some of the life changes the specialists recomment include eating right, exercise, intellectual activities, and socializing. AAAAAHHHHH. Socializing is the most difficult part of the changes I have had to make in my life.

Yes, I have friends and see them regularly. I have 6 younger siblings and talk with/get together often I have church friends. etc. etc. But it's still difficult to commit to activities.

On the plus side, I do feel better during and after being with people.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

JeanLouiseFinch — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 14:07:21 GMT

I live in a happy medium. I love getting to see friends and family, and will often travel a good distance to make that happen, but there are extended periods of time where I don't leave the house except to take a walk and I'm ok with that.

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Puzzle Piece — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 14:11:58 GMT

I like my reclusive self. As a retireee and a widow, I a more reclusive. I have things to occupy my time here at home.

Re: Recluse behavior anyone?

Patriot3 — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 14:12:55 GMT

Most of my socializing now comes from family events. Even that is exhausting. With so many gr. grandchildren running around, I love them and all their energy and I miss them, but it is tiring with all the chaos.

I love just being home alone. Never thought I would be that way, but being 87, I guess that happens. I like being around people, but it is just so tiring. I do have heart failure and low iron, so that could have something to do w/it.

I

RetRN — Sat, 07 Mar 2026 14:42:31 GMT

I am happiest being at home. I basicly only go out for appointments, to the library (I put books on hold so they are ready for me to pickup), church, the grocery store, salon, and pharmacy. I make my own meals, clean my own house, and do my own laundry so I always have something to do.

I used to go out for breakfast or lunch with my four close friends but sadly three have passed away and the fourth is now terminally ill.

I am at an age where going out and meeting new people is not something I have any interest in. I like the peace and comfort of staying home.