topic Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation in Among Friends

Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

Frosted Cake — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:11:57 GMT

I really need some advice.

I am in need of a part-time job and haven't worked in many years. I went to my local city who has a program for job seekers. They do resume writing workshops, interviewing techniques, etc. I met with this one lady one-on-one. She is the head of their media dept and she gave me advice about how to market myself now and ways to get noticed on an interview, etc. Her advice has been beneficial.

Recently, she invited me to her church to hear the pastor speak. I have my own faith and spiritual beliefs and just didn't want to join her at her church. But, I didn't think much about her asking me.

I had an interview that didn't go so well. I e-mailed this gal and told her how disappointed I was and discouraged. She wrote me an e-mail response that stated unless I come to her church and accept her God, I would never find my way. She implied that my life and situation would not change until I accepted her view of God. She invited me again to come to her church.

I politely wrote her back thanking her for her caring, but informing her that I had my own faith and spiritual beliefs that I follow. I told her I admired her strength of conviction. She wrote back that she hopes I change my mind and will reconsider and basically said good luck and good-bye.

It's upsetting to me because for one, she works for the city gov't and shouldn't be proselytizing in her role. Secondly, now I feel totally uncomfortable using that valuable resource provided by the city. A friend of mine said I should report her to someone in charge. I don't know what to do. I know she saw me as vulnerable, and I wonder how many others she might have done the same thing to. I don't think she meant any "harm" per se, but it's just not appropriate to cross that line in any organization or government entity.

I respect her for her convictions, but I don't like that my ability to utilize her services in the career development program to be contingent on my spirituality. She is the only one who provides one-on-one support.

I'm still applying for jobs within the city, so I don't know what to do about this situation.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

PhilaLady1 — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:17:10 GMT

Hi Frosted Cake, I am sure there are others here that can give you a more articulate and thorough reply than I can. I just want to first wish you you good luck and hope you find a job that suits you. Your story about the woman at the workshop makes me so angry. I hate when people try to shove their religion down your throat. I would report her.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

jackthebear — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:17:39 GMT

wow tough one,

I think first I would print those emails between you showing all the to/from info (isp) etc if she using company email to send them.

Let's see what others have to say, and for the record she is totally out of line.

Born agains often think that their way is the only way. I once worked with somone liked that

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

goldensrbest — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:18:08 GMT

I do not think she should had said that to you at all, i am a christian, and yes we need to speak about our GOD, but this was un called for.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

chi5925 — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:20:50 GMT

@Frosted Cake wrote:
I really need some advice.

I am in need of a part-time job and haven't worked in many years. I went to my local city who has a program for job seekers. They do resume writing workshops, interviewing techniques, etc. I met with this one lady one-on-one. She is the head of their media dept and she gave me advice about how to market myself now and ways to get noticed on an interview, etc. Her advice has been beneficial.

Recently, she invited me to her church to hear the pastor speak. I have my own faith and spiritual beliefs and just didn't want to join her at her church. But, I didn't think much about her asking me.

I had an interview that didn't go so well. I e-mailed this gal and told her how disappointed I was and discouraged. She wrote me an e-mail response that stated unless I come to her church and accept her God, I would never find my way. She implied that my life and situation would not change until I accepted her view of God. She invited me again to come to her church.

I politely wrote her back thanking her for her caring, but informing her that I had my own faith and spiritual beliefs that I follow. I told her I admired her strength of conviction. She wrote back that she hopes I change my mind and will reconsider and basically said good luck and good-bye.

It's upsetting to me because for one, she works for the city gov't and shouldn't be proselytizing in her role. Secondly, now I feel totally uncomfortable using that valuable resource provided by the city. A friend of mine said I should report her to someone in charge. I don't know what to do. I know she saw me as vulnerable, and I wonder how many others she might have done the same thing to. I don't think she meant any "harm" per se, but it's just not appropriate to cross that line in any organization or government entity.

I respect her for her convictions, but I don't like that my ability to utilize her services in the career development program to be contingent on my spirituality. She is the only one who provides one-on-one support.

I'm still applying for jobs within the city, so I don't know what to do about this situation.

She's a bona fide nut case.

I'd report her. If her comments ("finding your way") and inviting you to her church were done while she was working as an employee of the city government, she needs to have her lips zipped.

Gosh....people who prosthelacize (sp?) to anyone-and-everyone need to get a grip.

JMO

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

jackthebear — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:22:33 GMT

@chi5925 wrote:
@Frosted Cake wrote:
I really need some advice.

I am in need of a part-time job and haven't worked in many years. I went to my local city who has a program for job seekers. They do resume writing workshops, interviewing techniques, etc. I met with this one lady one-on-one. She is the head of their media dept and she gave me advice about how to market myself now and ways to get noticed on an interview, etc. Her advice has been beneficial.

Recently, she invited me to her church to hear the pastor speak. I have my own faith and spiritual beliefs and just didn't want to join her at her church. But, I didn't think much about her asking me.

I had an interview that didn't go so well. I e-mailed this gal and told her how disappointed I was and discouraged. She wrote me an e-mail response that stated unless I come to her church and accept her God, I would never find my way. She implied that my life and situation would not change until I accepted her view of God. She invited me again to come to her church.

I politely wrote her back thanking her for her caring, but informing her that I had my own faith and spiritual beliefs that I follow. I told her I admired her strength of conviction. She wrote back that she hopes I change my mind and will reconsider and basically said good luck and good-bye.

It's upsetting to me because for one, she works for the city gov't and shouldn't be proselytizing in her role. Secondly, now I feel totally uncomfortable using that valuable resource provided by the city. A friend of mine said I should report her to someone in charge. I don't know what to do. I know she saw me as vulnerable, and I wonder how many others she might have done the same thing to. I don't think she meant any "harm" per se, but it's just not appropriate to cross that line in any organization or government entity.

I respect her for her convictions, but I don't like that my ability to utilize her services in the career development program to be contingent on my spirituality. She is the only one who provides one-on-one support.

I'm still applying for jobs within the city, so I don't know what to do about this situation.

She's a bona fide nut case.

I'd report her. If her comments ("finding your way") and inviting you to her church were done while she was working as an employee of the city government, she needs to have her lips zipped.

Gosh....people who proselytize (sp?) to anyone-and-everyone need to get a grip.

JMO

totally agree,

spell checked it for you is that OK ?

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

Goldengate8361 — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:23:41 GMT

@Frosted Cake She is a quack! Be grateful that she "showed you who she really is." Run, dont walk, away from her. There are many wonderful people out there that would happily support and assist you. I am a business executive and I don't know a single person who wouldn't gladly accept a request by someone for a 15 minute "informational interview." You need to continue to do what you're doing...getting out and networking and reaching out to others. I really, really wish you the best!

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

Frosted Cake — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:28:14 GMT

Thank you for all your replies.

I didn't know what to think about all of this.

It's a shame because she did provide good tips in the job search.

She sent the e-mails (which I have all saved) via her personal account, but many times during work hours.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

KringleB — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:28:08 GMT

Extremely inappropriate for her to push her beliefs on you and refusting to do her job unless you attend her church. I'd report her!!! Your beliefs are none of her business and she has no right pushing it on your or anyone else. Since she works for your city government I'd report her. Please let us know what you decide to do but I wouldn't hesitate. She didn't do her job AND she what she did is wrong!!!!!

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

1jenniferjuniper — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:33:39 GMT

@Frosted Cake wrote:
I really need some advice.

I am in need of a part-time job and haven't worked in many years. I went to my local city who has a program for job seekers. They do resume writing workshops, interviewing techniques, etc. I met with this one lady one-on-one. She is the head of their media dept and she gave me advice about how to market myself now and ways to get noticed on an interview, etc. Her advice has been beneficial.

Recently, she invited me to her church to hear the pastor speak. I have my own faith and spiritual beliefs and just didn't want to join her at her church. But, I didn't think much about her asking me.

I had an interview that didn't go so well. I e-mailed this gal and told her how disappointed I was and discouraged. She wrote me an e-mail response that stated unless I come to her church and accept her God, I would never find my way. She implied that my life and situation would not change until I accepted her view of God. She invited me again to come to her church.

I politely wrote her back thanking her for her caring, but informing her that I had my own faith and spiritual beliefs that I follow. I told her I admired her strength of conviction. She wrote back that she hopes I change my mind and will reconsider and basically said good luck and good-bye.

It's upsetting to me because for one, she works for the city gov't and shouldn't be proselytizing in her role. Secondly, now I feel totally uncomfortable using that valuable resource provided by the city. A friend of mine said I should report her to someone in charge. I don't know what to do. I know she saw me as vulnerable, and I wonder how many others she might have done the same thing to. I don't think she meant any "harm" per se, but it's just not appropriate to cross that line in any organization or government entity.

I respect her for her convictions, but I don't like that my ability to utilize her services in the career development program to be contingent on my spirituality. She is the only one who provides one-on-one support.

I'm still applying for jobs within the city, so I don't know what to do about this situation.

Forget her and move on.

1. Create a new resume ..... Check online for newest format, it really makes a difference.

2. Make sure you have marketable skills , very important

3. Practice "interviewing techniques " with a friend or family member.

4. Make sure before you interview to learn about the company/ business before going to the interview.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

jackthebear — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:35:35 GMT

@Frosted Cake wrote:
Thank you for all your replies.

I didn't know what to think about all of this.

It's a shame because she did provide good tips in the job search.

She sent the e-mails (which I have all saved) via her personal account, but many times during work hours.

good for you for saving them.

I realized your priority at the moment is finding a job, so getting yourself wound up over this person wont' get you anywhere

However at some point someone should be informed that she is doing this.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

adoreqvc — Tue, 10 May 2016 22:44:50 GMT

Frosted Cake

You said you went to your LOCAL CITY who has a program for job seekers.....

Well if this is your local City Employment Community that you went to that is separate from any Religious Organization, and therefore religion should not come into play at all when being interviewed by one of their Professionals.

That being said, if the above is what happened, then that woman crossed the line between representing her City/State/Government position, and forcing her Religious beliefs on applicants.

She never ever should have discussed her Church, God, or her faith with you as you were there solely for one purpose..... to become better qualified and learn the best techniques to help you find a part time job, and not for her religious input at all.

I also wonder how many other applicants she did the same to so she needs to be stopped now.

Keep those emails and make print outs for yourself, as those same email communications may also be on her work pc so they would also be easily tracked by whoever does the investigation.......and only God knows how many other emails of the same sort she may also have on her work pc.

She deserves to be terminated pronto, no ifs, and, or buts.......and you Frosted Cake deserve to get all the help you need from a qualified person, who does what they are being paid for....... which does not include coercion to force others to follow their Church, or religious beliefs, and go to their Church Services with them, before they continue to help them with regards to getting the resource information and help they came for, and hopefully bring successfully hired.

She does report to someone so find out who that would be, and if you have no clue call your State Unemployment DIvision and ask them as they would probably know, since they also deal with the same Government help Agencies which secure positions for individuals, and also assist them with ensuring they receive all the needed information pertaining to finding employment.

I am so sorry this happened to you and probably to many others as well, but if it happened to me I would not be able to rest, unless she was dismissed for what she did........and good luck to you.

"May you find that part time job, and have wonderful success in all your future endeavors".

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

bonnielu — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:50:11 GMT

You could report her but it would not lead to you getting the job. You could go to her church and play along but that would go against what you feel is right. Or you could just move on and find another opportunity which would be my best advice.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

hckynut — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:50:42 GMT

@Frosted Cake wrote:
I really need some advice.

I had an interview that didn't go so well. I e-mailed this gal and told her how disappointed I was and discouraged. She wrote me an e-mail response that stated unless I come to her church and accept her God, I would never find my way.

my advice? none, but i do enjoy reading fiction novels like this.

hnj

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

ChynnaBlue — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:56:04 GMT

She needs to be reported because you can bet that you are not the first or the last person she has done this to. It's not legal for her to refuse to help you because of your religion. If her manager does not help you out, I would contact your city council representative. If still nothing is done, I would contact the local media and share those emails.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

Trix — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:56:29 GMT

It doesnt matter which side of the desk the person is sitting on, without question no one should try to influence another's religious beliefs in a business environment. I would express concern about the matter to whomever this agent reports to and leave it at that. On the other hand, I have to ask, do you think perhaps there was a point where you allowed the relationship to cross the line from being a professional one to something possibly more social? This did not have to be an outright declaration of being open to getting, but some little thing which may have cracked the door for the agent to come up with the church invitation.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

mzlg — Tue, 10 May 2016 18:58:30 GMT

@Frosted Cake, This person is as @jackthebear said "totally out of line". As others have said, she's employed by the city/state government and this type of conduct is not part of her job description.

Print out the e-mails and report her to her supervisors, this needs to be addressed. She may have done this to others seeking assistance in employment.

There are a number of groups that will help with a job search - there are Job Fairs / Career Fairs - check the newspaper, on-line, ask others / networking.

You did not mention what line of work you are searching for - there are companies like Costco, Home Depot, Lowes, Geico (other insurance companies) retail. You might consider a Temp agency.

Check on-line for tips on handling interviews/answering tough questions: like "Job wise, what is your weakness in?" - turning a weakness into a strength - "I'm detail oriented"

Just my thoughts ... best wishes in your search.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

jackthebear — Tue, 10 May 2016 19:01:04 GMT

@Trix wrote:
It doesnt matter which side of the desk the person is sitting on, without question no one should try to influence another's religious beliefs in a business environment. I would express concern about the matter to whomever this agent reports to and leave it at that. On the other hand, I have to ask, do you think perhaps there was a point where you allowed the relationship to cross the line from being a professional one to something possibly more social? This did not have to be an outright declaration of being open to getting, but some little thing which may have cracked the door for the agent to come up with the church invitation.

IMO probably not, I think people like that see it as a mission to invite and draw in people to their churches/places of worship without been asked.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

2blonde — Tue, 10 May 2016 19:16:23 GMT

This person needs to be reported, even if it has to be done anonymously. I'm a Christian, but I would never use my church or my beliefs to blackmail a person. She is way out of line and must be stopped before she puts more people in such an awkward position. She is breaking the law. I can't imagine what church would condone such behavior.

Re: Not Sure How to Handle this Situation

Frosted Cake — Tue, 10 May 2016 19:12:32 GMT

We talked about my situation (financial) but most of our conversations were about job related issues. She wanted me to meet a friend of hers who was job hunting too, but I didn't follow through with that.

She only wrote me via her personal e-mail. Yet, she did e-mail me from work and talk to me via phone from work. Outside looking in, I see someone who has a great job yet violates her position. It makes it more frustrating when you are someone looking for one, wondering how someone like that gets so lucky.

I almost felt like sending her an e-mail asking if she would only give me career guidance, etc. on a spiritual level and if that was still applicable. I wanted to see what she would say. She might see it as me wanting to take her up on her offer, but it would also give me confirmation of her intentions. That way there is no confusion about it. It's scary going to her superioris, especially if they really like her and would defend her in any way. The last thing I need now in my life is any legal issues.