topic Re: Am I cold hearted? in Among Friends

Am I cold hearted?

catmama — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:19:43 GMT

My mother passed away several years ago but when she was alive she was really into ceramics, took several classes and made many many items

I have quite a few of her pieces and some of them I love and treasure BUT there are some that are just not my style or I don't like them.

Am I heartless if I just get rid of them?

Re: Am I cold hearted?

TheMemphisVette — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:28:55 GMT

any other family members or friends of hers may like/want them?

if so, would be lovely gifts

Re: Am I cold hearted?

Still Raining — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:26:56 GMT

Treasuring certain items which hold warm memories is priceless. Happy you have been gifted this way.

So no, it is OK to not keep some things.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

Winkk — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:28:37 GMT

I don't think so. I'm not a "saver". If I haven't used something or if it has no sentimental value, I get rid of it. If in question, take a picture of it then get rid of it. Besides, you said you kept some pieces, so I wouldn't feel bad.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

catmama — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:30:30 GMT

@TheMemphisVette wrote:
any other family members or friends of hers may like/want them?

if so, would be lovely gifts

No. There aren't many family members left and they have pieces too.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

mrshckynut — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:34:47 GMT

@catmama no

mrshckynut

Re: Am I cold hearted?

Kachina624 — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:35:08 GMT

@catmama. No, very few few people have the storage space or interest in keeping everything their parents possessed. One must be selective.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

haddon9 — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:35:12 GMT

@catmama Are you saying that your mother made ceramic pieces that you want to get rid of?....or are they just pieces that she collected that you just don't want? Either way, no, you're not cold hearted but getting rid of a collection is easier than saying goodbye to something that she made.

My mom made a few afgans and they have that 70s look. She made us each take one and I hate to say it but mine became the dog's blanket.

When my mother passed my brother and I had a condo filled with stuff we had to get rid of. We could only ship a few things like photos and things that meant something to us. She lived in south Florida and I live in PA. My brother was in St. Louis at the time. It was impossible to keep and ship everything.

What was heartbreaking was just giving away so much. Things that my mother considered collectibles like Wedgwood, Lladro, crystal, silver, etc. Some things we sold but most overwhelmingly were donated or given to the cleaning woman in the building.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

threecees — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:36:47 GMT

No. You can't keep everything and after a while it just becomes clutter.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

RetRN — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:39:40 GMT

No you are not heartless, I am quite certain that your mother would understand. Treasure the memory that those classes brought her pleasure.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

Shelbelle — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:40:00 GMT

You can gift them to her friends, neighbors, relatives, etc in her memory, other wise donate to charity in her name.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

goldensrbest — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 19:55:18 GMT

@threecees wrote:
No. You can't keep everything and after a while it just becomes clutter.

That is what i also found out,keep the ones that you really like,and take the others to a thrift shop,let those that buy enjoy them,

Re: Am I cold hearted?

JeanLouiseFinch — Sun, 30 Nov 2025 00:27:50 GMT

You are under zero obligation to keep something that isn't your taste. Keeping them or parting with any (or even all) pieces is not the measuring stick to prove the amount of love you had/have for your mom. Keep what you like and sell, gift, or donate the rest.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

Tinkrbl44 — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 20:21:35 GMT

@catmama wrote:
My mother passed away several years ago but when she was alive she was really into ceramics, took several classes and made many many items

I have quite a few of her pieces and some of them I love and treasure BUT there are some that are just not my style or I don't like them.

Am I heartless if I just get rid of them?

@catmama

Cold-hearted? No.

Just donate the pieces that don't speak to you ... and perhaps they will find a happy home, and other people will be happy with their new "finds".

Re: Am I cold hearted?

ROMARY — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 20:41:12 GMT

Your mom's nice neighbors / friends might be delighted to receive a heartfelt momento of their departed neighbor/friend.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

drizzellla — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 20:43:57 GMT

@catmama You are keeping some that you love and treasure. So every time you look or use those items it will bring you pleasure.

And that is what you want, to have good memories of your Mom. If the pieces are items that don't appeal to you, doesn't seem like you should keep them.

Sometimes you just have to think about your available space. You can't take everything that your Mom acquired, so take what has a fond memory for you.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

Puzzle Piece — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 21:05:23 GMT

No. There are others who would probably appreciate the items you don't care for and want to have gone.

Best to you.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

Mom2Dogs — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 21:06:32 GMT

I don't think so, keep what you like and donate/sell the rest. My my could knit and crochet as well as sew. She did a beautiful job but he choices of color was nothing that I really liked.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

Coastalcarolina — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 21:14:27 GMT

No you aren't cold hearted. Most daughters go through this when they pass. I stood my ground when my sisters kept wanting me to take furniture and stuff. I had my home furnished, and to take on more stuff would have been clutter.

I carefully selected a few things that gave me a sense of memories, and didn't look back. They were her things. She enjoyed them in this life. She wouldn't want you to be burdened. Best of luck to you.

Re: Am I cold hearted?

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 29 Nov 2025 21:55:49 GMT

My ex-sister-in-law created and gifted me with some beautiful ceramic items before she passed. I have kept the most precious and disposed of the rest.