topic Re: Is a kindness ever wasted? in Among Friends

Is a kindness ever wasted?

JoyFilled Warrior — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 11:36:49 GMT

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

Desertdi — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 11:36:59 GMT

Not to the bestower...

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

CalminHeart — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 11:41:48 GMT

Kindness is never wasted.

I don't want or expect appreciation or thanks for being kind. That diminishes the whole purpose of kindess.

People who are unkind or nasty all the time are wasting the precious time they have in this life. However, we have no idea what made them that way so it's better to be tolerant than respond the same way. (but we're all human and respond sometimes anyway)

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

I am still oxox — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 12:26:24 GMT

In my case yes I have or had a friend that is a "singer" and we went to many of her shows over the years. I also gave her tons of unused cosmetics. She did not bother to visit when I broke my hips. It took her a year to come see our renovated apt. In this case my kindness towards her was a waste. I am very bitter about the whole situation

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

meallen616 — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 12:30:23 GMT

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

We rescue cats — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 13:03:06 GMT

It is not. For me being kind and sharing kindness is for the recipient-but it nourishes the soul of the giver even more.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

hkrgrl — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 13:22:25 GMT

i don't think kindness is wasted, especially for the bestower.

but sometimes the bestowee is ungrateful or just frankly blows it off.

then decisions have to be made: do i continue with kindness or do i pull back?

i have come to the conclusion that i am living my life the way i want to and kindnesses (big or small) go unnoticed, then so be it, its on them. do my feelings get hurt, sure but i move on and try very hard not to dwell on it....

i don't want to live '****** for tat'. that's exhausting for me. i am doing 'me'.

i have pulled back some for my own sanity....

Bring nature home, plant native species to your area

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

bmorechick — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 13:50:06 GMT

To me, never. True kindness does not expect accolades or kindness or thanks in return. Either you're doing it because you are genuine or you're doing it for yourself, to get recognition.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

Biftu — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 14:17:26 GMT

it sure can be when those you bestow your help and kindness to goes unappreciated and is met with criticism.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 14:15:04 GMT

Does kindness = humanity?

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

lynnie61 — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 14:30:30 GMT

To me, it is never wasted. I want to be kind. It's a nice feeling. You never know what someone else may be going through. Can't change some people. I don't do it for thanks or recognition. Kindness is free. Pass it on.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

kitcat51 — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 15:04:10 GMT

Yes.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

Snowpuppy — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 15:04:31 GMT

@Biftu wrote:
it sure can be when those you bestow your help and kindness to goes unappreciated and is met with criticism.

How many times have I read posters comments over the years that the gesture was unwelcome, as the recipient was suspicious or downright nasty?

Gifts sent to grandchildren with no response. A greeting card or email from an estranged friend wanting to mend fences only to be met with "Run! They WANT something"!

I spent years being The Good Friend. I now treat them as they treat me. While they are po'd that I no longer try, I have freed myself

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

shy bobcat — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 15:23:18 GMT

I don't know everyones circumstances but, I believe kindness is never wasted.

In my opinion, anything we give, whether it be a physical gift or kindness is more thoughtful and genuine if there are no apparent or expected "strings attached."

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

Shanus — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 15:46:03 GMT

By this age, I've eliminated friendships and distant relatives who didn't know how to receive or give any type of kindness.

There are others around me who are kind and always there when I need them. They get my kindness willingly.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

lgfan — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 16:10:01 GMT

@Shanus wrote:
By this age, I've eliminated friendships and distant relatives who didn't know how to receive or give any type of kindness.

There are others around me who are kind and always there when I need them. They get my kindness willingly.

I agree with you. Life is too short to waste on ungrateful friends and relatives.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

PamfromCT — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 16:40:50 GMT

So many of us have experienced times where we bestowed loving kindness to someone because that is a big part of who we are.

But when it is met with no appreciation at all, or even with a hurtful lack of any response, it is time to focus on other people to bestow kindness on. For myself, I feel hurt rather than bitter when this happens.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

Puzzle Piece — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 16:38:55 GMT

Depends

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

Cakers3 — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 16:40:48 GMT

If one is bitter, resentful, hurt etc. because one's kindness was not returned, acknowledged, reciprocated etc. then continue to live your life as the perpetual martyr.

You are only losing out on your own life. Wasting precious time because you had an expectation that you "kindness" would be returned makes the kindness about you and that is not kindness.

Kindness is subjective.
So are expectations.

If we go through life expecting people to react the way WE THINK they should react, we set ourselves as potential victims. We are not.

Do a kindness because you see the need in that person.
Then be grateful you had something to give.

In the end someday you might need a kindness. Remember it.

Re: Is a kindness ever wasted?

DSD2 — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 17:14:10 GMT

No.

Kindness springs from the goodness of the heart. Caring for and nurturing others should be natural and unforced.

We should do good because it's the right thing to do.