topic Re: Ouch in Among Friends

Ouch

Puzzle Piece — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 16:43:01 GMT

To forgive or not to forgive. To overlook or not.

Had a conversation with an acquaintnce. They are going through a stressful time. As they are a cat lover, one of the cats is probably going to be euthanized this week and the person is greatly bothered by the whole ordeal.

My aqaintance took out their frustration on me and went back weeks/months of words we spoke and told me they didn't want to ever speak to me again. ????? Ouch. I was not expecting this outburst as I am not to blame for the ordeals they have gone through in life.

Would you just lick your wounds and let this go or would you try to contact them in the fututre to see if they are doing any better?

Re: Ouch

spumoni99 — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 16:50:37 GMT

@Puzzle PieceSounds like she has made her decision and you don't have a choice.

Re: Ouch

Kachina624 — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 16:52:45 GMT

@Puzzle Piece. I would give your friend some space and not contact her again for a couple of weeks. Then I'd tell her how hurtful her word were to you, that you understand she was stressed and that you are going to try to forgive and forget, then drop it. Hopefully somewhere along the line she will apologize and clear the air.

Words, once spoken, cannot be unheard. Keep this in mind when you know you're upset.

Re: Ouch

candys mine — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 16:58:09 GMT

@Puzzle Piece Depends on if You want to continue the relationship.

If they love their cat like family it is a VERY stressful time. Not very nice to lay it on You, but the need to vent when you feel Helpless to save a life is strong.

If you want to test the waters and the cat has been euthanized, send a sympathy card.

The ball will be in their court.

It's never wrong to be kind.

Re: Ouch

kitcat51 — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:13:33 GMT

You know what was said, if you can forgive it then reach out, if not let the friendship go...only you can make that decision @Puzzle Piece. I'm a kind person but sometimes what is said to me crosses a line & there's no going back.

Re: Ouch

Janey2 — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:15:16 GMT

Walk away. I believe what people say. If she regrets her words she will contact you.

Re: Ouch

RedTop — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:17:59 GMT

I would be inclined to believe the outburst was from stress; let it go and wait for them to reach out to me.

However, odd, unexplainable outbursts like this was the first noticeable sign of dementia in my mother, and other family members.

Re: Ouch

Marp — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:18:10 GMT

After a brief waiting period I would contact the friend and express my sympathy for the loss of their cat.

During the brief waiting period I would evaluate what words were said that stuck with your friend for weeks/months, why they were said and under what circumstances and why I was unaware that the words would be hurtful.

After doing all that if I was interested in continuing the friendship I would then ask to get together to talk things out.

Re: Ouch

mrshckynut — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:20:30 GMT

@Puzzle Piece an acquaintance if they are bringing up past disagreements. they would have to make the first move

a friend would be different depending on the why

mrshckynut

Re: Ouch

elated — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:24:00 GMT

I would be uncomfortable in this friendship because you will be walking a tightrope. Yes, stress does affect you but to take it out on you is going too far. I would just move on because your relationship has been damaged and I don't think you can forgive hurtful words. If she calls and apologizes that would be a different story but I wouldn't hold your breath. Not every relationship is worth saving. Your choice, your friend??

Re: Ouch

Mom2Dogs — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:40:31 GMT

@Puzzle Piece Ouch for sure....I would not contact her but that is me....maybe she will realize what she said and contact you. Sometimes it is hard to get past words that are spoken out loud, when completely uncalled for.

TRUE STORY: My sister who I was relatively close with sent me a note in the mail saying never contact her again, this came out of nowhere...from what I read in the letter someone turned her into job and family for a home investigation, it was not me but I suspect my other sister could have done it or maybe even a neighbor, I have no idea.

She lives about 5 hours from me so we did not see each other a lot but spoke on the phone...I never contacted her again, not even to tell her it was not me, it was not worth it to me, her mind was made up. I did see her at my grandmas funeral but that was 15 years ago, we briefly spoke but that was it...I am not mad, I was very hurt at the time but I no longer care.

I am sorry this happened to you.

Re: Ouch

shy bobcat — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:46:23 GMT

@Puzzle Piece I would be very hurt by what this acquaintance said to me and, would need a little time to heal my emotional wound.

Since this person is going through a stressful time and unfortunately took their frustration out on you, I would try and give them grace.

Haven't most of us lashed out hurtful words that we didn't mean when we were upset? Of course, this is easier said than done.

Re: Ouch

occasionalrain — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:49:27 GMT

I would respect her wish.

I would not try to contact her nor would I send a card which may be taken contrary to how it was intended.

Re: Ouch

cody2 — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 17:53:12 GMT

I would ask myself if this were the first time she had ever behaved like this with me? If not, I would just let the friendship go. Not worth always wondering when it would happen again. If this was the first time, I would probably not think that this outburst was about me but more likely something else is causing her behavior. Maybe there are other problems in her life right now and the potential loss of her kitty just is the breaking point. In this case I would make an effort to be supportive and give her another chance. Of course, it would matter how long this friendship had been up to now. Good friends are a gift. Hold on to them.

Re: Ouch

Mombo1 — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 18:01:07 GMT

@Puzzle Piece Your post made me think of something written by Maya Angelou.

People will forget what you said..

People will forget what you did..

But people will never forget how you made them feel...

Hopefully...in time..your friend will get through her issues and re-think what she said to you.

Re: Ouch

ThinkingOutLoud — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 18:14:27 GMT

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
To forgive or not to forgive. To overlook or not.

Had a conversation with an acquaintnce. They are going through a stressful time. As they are a cat lover, one of the cats is probably going to be euthanized this week and the person is greatly bothered by the whole ordeal.
My aqaintance took out their frustration on me and went back weeks/months of words we spoke and told me they didn't want to ever speak to me again. ????? Ouch. I was not expecting this outburst as I am not to blame for the ordeals they have gone through in life.

Would you just lick your wounds and let this go or would you try to contact them in the fututre to see if they are doing any better?

Always forgive. (this does not mean you put yourself in a position to be hurt over and over again)

It never hurts to extend a kindness. Sending a note later this month might soften their heart (ie sorry for your circumstances, hope things look up soon). Even if nothing comes of it, you being the bigger person matters.

Sorry this happened. I'm sure it's just their excess stress at play.

Re: Ouch

occasionalrain — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 18:17:36 GMT

Her beloved cat is dead so how could things possibly look up soon?

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rockygems123 — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 18:22:02 GMT

@Puzzle Piece

I gave a friend space in January as she was beyond angry after the election results. By space I mean I blocked her from calling and texting.

She managed to contact me again in June via email, still angry, blaming the word for her many many bad decisions she's made over the years. Stood by her over the years no matter how stupid her decisions were.

She's on her own now, can't help fix her anger and no longer can handle the toxicity.

Maybe space will help with your situation my personal ordeal with this person has luckily come to an end.

Re: Ouch

ThinkingOutLoud — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 18:33:52 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
Her beloved cat is dead so how could things possibly look up soon?

Time heals and it's not healthy to stay in grief for too long. Life is about overcoming, moving on and growing from our experiences.

Re: Ouch

Mz iMac — Sun, 05 Oct 2025 18:44:37 GMT

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
To forgive or not to forgive. To overlook or not.

Had a conversation with an acquaintnce.

Would you just lick your wounds and let this go or would you try to contact them in the fututre to see if they are doing any better?

@Puzzle Piece Neither!

My PERSONAL OPINION: An "acquaintnce" is NOT a friend therfore, no wounds to lick. I would not give this person another thought.