topic Re: Loud Music at Wedding in Among Friends

Loud Music at Wedding

Bubby Mommy — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 17:34:37 GMT

I attended a wedding recently. It was an absolutely beautiful affair - top shelf all the way. EXCEPT the DJ played "music" SO LOUD it almost burst my eardrums. It seems he configured the base to be prominent so in the songs that he played the singer was almost background to the BOOM BOOM BOOM of the base. My husband and I kept going outside to try to escape the noise. We wound up leaving early because it was so unbearable. The hosts said they realized the "music" was loud and not for everyone, but "that's what the kids want." I understand that, but can't a happy medium be met so that the "music" is loud enough for the kids but still maintain a reasonable volume for people to be able to talk without having to SCREAM in the other person's ear? What could have been a perfectly lovely affair was ruined by the stupid DJ. Am I being unreasonable?

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

grandma2pkmh — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 19:44:00 GMT

@Bubby Mommy I went to a wedding a few years ago with the same music and spent a lot of time outside. Yes, it was exactly what the couple wanted. A good time was had by most.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Biftu — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 17:56:04 GMT

Not unreasonable at all. Weddings are times when people see those they haven't seen in a long time and would like to have a conversation without screaming over the music.

I also hate loud music in restaurants. You can't even have a conversation.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

gizmogal — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 17:57:15 GMT

I've had the same experience at receptions and celebrations once or twice. I feel like a real fuddy duddy being so uncomfortable with the loud volume, and yes, the settings for the bass through the giant speakers is distracting.

I think the speakers are suitable for huge venues, even outdoor meadows for public concerts, so the power turned up indoors wholly over-amplifies and gets painful. The other consideration is that these live bands have a repertoire limited to dance music that is much more suited to disco energies and expressive rhythmic body motion, so guests at a party do not get relief from the incessant "beat". While I don't expect the waltz and the minuet, the slower standards and ballads that would encourage all couples to dance face to face and held in each other's arms are not offered by younger performers. Disco may be dead, but not at wedding receptions!

I wouldn't expect my hosts, or the bridal couple, to adjust the music mix, but moderating the volume for the comfort of their guests is reasonable. They hired the band for everyone to enjoy, not just "the kids". The band should be advised that the speaker volume is intrusive.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Mombo1 — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 18:10:51 GMT

@Bubby Mommy You are not unreasonable at all. I have a hard time with loud music anywhere...As a kid, I had a ruptured eardrum from a high fever.....To this day, I am very sensitive to any loud noise.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

DottieBlue — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 18:11:06 GMT

Guests of all ages were invited and attended. Therefore, I think reasonable effort should have been made to make all the guests feel comfortable and welcome.

I think the host's response was a mistake. He should have asked the DJ to turn down the volume so that guests could at least converse with each other. I think a happy medium could have been met.

Then, if the reception continued late into the evening, perhaps the "kids" could turn up the volume more to their liking.

JMO.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

kaydee50 — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 18:12:57 GMT

Fortunately, I haven't attended a wedding in about a decade but friends who have recently gone to weddings complain about the loudness and the way "young people" dance--basically jumping up and down. I remember that from the last wedding I went to. It's their wedding and if I were ever invited to another, I would be sending a check and "regrets"--LOL!!!

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

pdlinda — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 21:27:18 GMT

@gizmogal Yes, it has happened to me SEVERAL TIMES, the last time being a few months ago at my granddaughter's wedding!

The music was SO LOUD I felt compelled to leave the ballroom and sit outside in one of the adjoining rooms!

My daughter came to inquire about my whereabouts and when she found me I explained why I left the room.

I did receive her understanding but she encouraged me to stay put until the meal was served because the music was (as was stated in other posts) EXACTLY what the young guests wanted and wouldn't be changed.

At least I know what to expect now as I have 6 MORE WEDDINGS to attend in the future for my grandchildren

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Laura14 — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 18:26:30 GMT

I understand it's their wedding and mainly the bride's day.

BUT, when you invite guests, the couple needs to understand those guests are giving up their time and hard earned money to celebrate with them and, last I heard, that's not cheap on the guest end either.

I don't think it's unreasonable to have some common courtesy that alternates between a dance party and a slower, more adult tempo and song selection so that everyone gets a chance and a little of what they expect to enjoy the day.

Do DJs not know how to do that anymore? There was always the slow dance portion to catch your breath for the younger crowd and hit the bar while providing a couples dance opportunity for the older couples who are not going to do the Electric Slide.

I don't understand where we lost the common sense in the little things that cost nothing and are easy to do in favor of the all about me selfishness. It's their 'want,' (have it) but how about meeting more of your guests' needs by alternating between the two?

I'm sorry you missed more of the party, but bravo for taking care of you and enjoying the rest of your day at a lower decibel level.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

MoonieBaby — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 19:08:27 GMT

Unable to carry on a conversation without losing your voice at any affair, is a huge bummer.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Jaspersmom — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 19:40:43 GMT

Playing music so loud that it could pierce eardrums is an insult to and abuse of those on the guest list. It's the bass that vibrates through your chest so much you feel like you could have a heart attack. I grew up with rock and roll bands and have seen my share of concerts. My whole family (young and old) brings earplugs to preserve our hearing. The young people can live with the volume turned down a few notches. It's the deejays that force it on everyone. I've actually turned down invitations if I think I'm going to have a miserable night at one of these events. I love music and love to dance, but I'm not sacrificing my health because someone doesn't have the guts to tell the deejay to lower the volume. Why bother attending any of these events if you have can't even talk to the people at your table?

How I know it can be different is because of a recent wedding I attended. This was a second marriage for the bride and groom after they both lost their first spouses. Beautiful venue. Beautiful ceremony. Great party room in a popular catering hall. Very mixed crowd of old and young. Music was played at a reasonable volume and everyone got up to dance. Lots of fun.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

cindyNC — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 19:42:55 GMT

As I'm getting older, I find loud noises bother me more and more. My audiologist gives me h*ll for not wearing my hearing aids, but it keeps life quieter.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

CelticCrafter — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 20:00:51 GMT

I'm glad our wedding days are over.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Q-Checker — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 21:20:20 GMT

To add to what has been said, sustained loud noise can cause hearing loss. The "musicians" will sadly discover that.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Shelbelle — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 20:49:45 GMT

Hi, Bubby, I am also a Bubby so I get it, but as my kids keep reminding me this is the norm today, everything is geared for the youngsters. The older folks cant reallly make conversation.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

cjm61 — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 20:56:56 GMT

@Bubby Mommy I wouldn't say "stupid DJ". If it was unbearable to all I believe the hosts or wedding planners would have asked to have the volume turned down. As mentioned, kids like it loud. Not much can be done.

I have to say, when I had my hearing tested a few months back my doctor said my hearing was so exceptional that nobody should whisper around me. So, yes, I do not like loud music but if that happens I just go outside, or step away from the music, or if I have to I will leave early.

I went to a wedding in August and it was kind of sad. My 3 year old granddaughter was excited to go to her first wedding. She got a special dress and shoes and said she was excited to dance. Well, the music was too loud for her and she wouldn't stay inside the venue. She spent the entire time outside.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Roscoe the Rascal — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 22:43:31 GMT

@Bubby Mommy wrote:
I attended a wedding recently. It was an absolutely beautiful affair - top shelf all the way. EXCEPT the DJ played "music" SO LOUD it almost burst my eardrums. It seems he configured the base to be prominent so in the songs that he played the singer was almost background to the BOOM BOOM BOOM of the base. My husband and I kept going outside to try to escape the noise. We wound up leaving early because it was so unbearable. The hosts said they realized the "music" was loud and not for everyone, but "that's what the kids want." I understand that, but can't a happy medium be met so that the "music" is loud enough for the kids but still maintain a reasonable volume for people to be able to talk without having to SCREAM in the other person's ear? What could have been a perfectly lovely affair was ruined by the stupid DJ. Am I being unreasonable?

Same here at a wedding I attended not long ago. Too loud and couldn't talk.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Bubby Mommy — Mon, 22 Sep 2025 23:54:02 GMT

Let me say that while at a wedding in August, the groom's mother asked the DJ to turn down the volume a bit. He did - for about 5 minutes - then it went right back up. At my own son's wedding I asked the DJ to turn the volume down and I got a "sour face" from the guy and he ignored me. It's up to the host paying for the wedding to tell the DJ at the time of the booking that they will not tolerate the loud music, and if they can't abide by that they will not get hired for the event. At my son's wedding (the bride's parents paid for the wedding) they once again told me: "It's what the bride wants." I very well couldn't walk out on that wedding, but I did go outside for a good part of the evening. I think it's the DJ "This is my business and I know what I'm doing, not YOU, lady" thing. It's a shame. Every guest should be able to enjoy the wedding with reasonable sound levels. If the bride and groom have chosen a specific list of songs/music they want played that's fine - just keep it a volume that's not earth shattering.

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

katie1859 — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 13:27:20 GMT

I get it too

but that's generally my exit cue to leave and go home lol

Beautiful wedding, thank ypou for the nice food....GOOD NIGHT

Re: Loud Music at Wedding

Sooner — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 13:38:38 GMT

I think the dancing is for the couple and their friends to celebrate, cut loose on the dance floor and have the time of their lives.

Most places have other rooms, hallways, outside areas for the old folks to gather and chat for a little while.

Yes, I think ceremony and food is for everyone then it's the wedding party's time and choice afterward and those who enjoy that.