topic Re: Awkward Situation Question in Among Friends

Awkward Situation Question

patticakes — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:07:23 GMT

What would you do or say? We have a man doing some tree work/landscaping outside for the next 3-4 days and yesterday he asked to use the bathroom which we refused. Downstairs bathroom was in use and upstairs bath is in a private bedroom. I'm concerned he will ask again and I don't want to lie or offfend; however, I really don't want to allow him to do that. Meanwhile, there is a very nice service station right down the street which I think is a good alternative and previous workers have always taken a break and gone down there. There's also several fast food restaurants at the same intersection which is about a half a mile. Not sure how to suggest that. What would you say?

Re: Awkward Situation Question

Citrine1 — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:21:27 GMT

I have never refused to let workers use my bathroom. I find that incredibly rude.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

Maizie Green — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:25:45 GMT

@Citrine1 wrote:
I have never refused to let workers use my bathroom. I find that incredibly rude.

^this^ I always offer my workers a cold beverage as well.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

Sooner — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:29:05 GMT

I would say something like our plumbing isn't what it should be and you would be safer and better off at one of the establishments near here. Sorry!

You are under NO obligation to let a stranger in your house to case the place or use the restroom. No. It isn't rude. In this day and age it is smart.

We have had a lot of work done around here and only one person ask to come in to use the rest room. My husband had just left, and told the guy to call him if there is a problem, not to bother me I wasn't feeling well. Soon as my husband was out of sight he's knocking on the door demanding to come in.

After they left, my husband called the company owner and he said they were never supposed to ask that. And you know, of the many other crews, individuals and people who have worked here nobody else has. They work, they know where the rest rooms are.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

They CallMe MRWILKES — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:29:13 GMT

I can't imagine not allowing the worker to use a bathroom.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

wagirl — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:29:50 GMT

I had a powder room just off the garage downstairs in my house, so that is where the people who needed to use the bath went. Would not let any stranger upstairs either. I made sure there were plenty of towels, soap and TP in there and then cleaned it after they left for the day.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

lynnie61 — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:32:20 GMT

I've had a lot of workers here. Roofers, landscapers, floor installers, etc. and no one has asked, but I would always allow them to use the bathroom. Maybe not my bedroom bathroom, but always the hall bath. I provide beverages, and lunch if it's full day workers.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

JYWilliams — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:32:54 GMT

I've let workers use my bathroom and offered them something cold to drink. Do what you feel is comfortable for you. That is your home and your choice.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

manny2 — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:33:29 GMT

This is a tricky situation. Your response was not unreasonable and could be a teachable moment. In the future if you have work done explaining from the get-go you are not comfortable with anyone coming into your home, so you are informing them of a nearby public place with a restroom they can use.

I would explain this to the man doing the work if he asks again.

I never allow anyone in my home without knowing they are background checked and vetted.

This is a personal choice. There is no right or wrong answer.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

kaydee50 — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:39:43 GMT

My initial reaction was to let him use a hallway bathroom but not the "master" bathroom. However, on re-reading this sounds like he has never worked for the OP before and he is doing outside work. I think I would say "sorry, I don't feel comfortable having a stranger use my facilities" and suggest what the OP has mentioned. When we owned a house I don't ever remember someone doing outside work who asked to use our bathrooms.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

bmorechick — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:41:39 GMT

I have a half bath as soon as you come in from garage. Anyone that has come here to do work is free to use that bathroom and do. The only reason I wouldn't want them upstairs is tracking dirt and stuff from their work boots and clothes. My grandchildren do a lot of "damage" in the half bath so I'm always cleaning it.

In my mind, they are already at your house. If they were intent on doing something nefarious, they don't need to use your bathroom to do it.

But as others have said, your house, your rules. You do what you're comfortable with.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

RetRN — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:44:39 GMT

I would definitely let him use the bathroom. I find it to be a simple and reasonable request.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

Goldengate8361 — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 13:55:45 GMT

I would never allow a worker to come in my house to use the bathroom or for any other reason. This is NOT rude. It is safety. I always make it a point to establish the rules, so to speak, in the hiring process so that expectations are clearly stated. There is no way you should let someone you don't truly know inside your house, particularly in a locked room in your house.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

They CallMe MRWILKES — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 16:09:37 GMT

"Outside Workers."

"Inside Workers."

My immediate reaction was to think of the book and film "The Help."

Lots of privilege and elitism on display.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

reiki604 — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 14:03:02 GMT

Of course I would let a worker use my downstairs half bath. They are human beings working an honest job for an honest wage, not an animal. If the downstairs was busy, I'd ask him to wait until it was available.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

DREAMON — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 14:06:25 GMT

I would have told him the downstairs bathroom was in use as you have said and as soon as it was free he could use it.

I would not allow anyone in my master bath.

When you need a bathroom you need an bathroom. I would never deny that to someone working on my house as I would not want to be treated that way.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

manny2 — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 14:12:22 GMT

Listen to your gut @patticakes. If you didn’t feel safe, then you did the right thing. I have never had someone that worked on anything outside my home ask to use the bathroom. It puts everyone in an uncomfortable situation.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

Sooner — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 14:15:32 GMT

@They CallMe MRWILKES wrote:
"Outside Workers."

"Inside Workers."

My immediate reaction was to think of the book and film "The Help."

@They CallMe MRWILKES Just think "strangers" and "people I know." Just think "criminals" and "people I know and trust."

Had a guy in the house painting once (from some people working for a guy I knew), and went up to see if he needed anything. We were chatting and he said he got out of prison in Mississippi a month ago. Was that a shock!

You can't be too careful with who you let in your house. Especially if you are alone, well any time. Guy with a knife killed four people he knew. . .

Re: Awkward Situation Question

SamBrown — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 14:18:43 GMT

I can't imagine telling someone to go down the street to the gas station to use the restroom. He can share this story with his friends and coworkers and get a good laught out of it.

Re: Awkward Situation Question

deeva — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 14:20:59 GMT

When we have landscaping that will take several days, the company orders a porta potty.

But, if that's not an option, we have three bathrooms, and I wouldn't have a problem with the workers using the powder room.
Would you rather the workers relieve themselves in your yard?