topic Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work in Among Friends

Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

cuddlesmama — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 15:26:58 GMT

Hi Ladies,

I am a nurse and while I was giving report to the oncoming nurse I heard a nurse's aide say to another nurses's aide that one of the patients had a 40 minute seizure (she meant to say 30 sec) and the aide that she said it to said really loud said hey everyone so and so had a 40 minute seizure and was laughing. Well the aide that said it looked so embarrassed and I feel that kind of outburst was not necessary and unprofessional. I felt so bad for the aide but by the time I got through with report the woman had left but I will see her tonight.

Why do people love to humiliate other people I'll never know. Its just not nice!

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

Karnerblue — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 15:33:24 GMT

Makes one feel better about themselves; probably have insecurity issues to begin with. If others laugh along, then it makes them feel empowered.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

Kardi — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 15:35:56 GMT

I think some people will say absolutely anything to get attention from everyone within earshot. They don't care if they embarrass or humiliate the other person as long as everyone notices them. Must be a huge insecurity.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

pugvette74 — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 15:36:11 GMT

It is so sad when people do that. You sound like a very kind, caring person. Hope you get to speak to her tonight...

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

Kitlynn — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 15:48:47 GMT

Some people just like to make others look foolish so they can be the center of attention and feel better about themselves. Most of the time people like this are very insecure and always afraid someone else will do better than they do. It is sad but true.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

qualitygal — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 15:57:50 GMT

That shouldn't be tolerated and her boss needs to speak to her. Those women need an audiance and someone needs to tell her that behavior is not tolerated, or needed there. Totally unprofessional. Wouldn't be an audiance for that behavior..

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

Puzzle Piece — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:05:34 GMT

@Karnerblue wrote:
Makes one feel better about themselves; probably have insecurity issues to begin with. If others laugh along, then it makes them feel empowered.

True. Also, others feel they need to have the last say and many are just mean spirited and that's what they do and enjoy.

I have an older sister who did such things. Of course she never had friends, even to this day. Her reason is she is just mean and enjoys being cruel. I parted her toxic company years ago.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

Sooner — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:08:00 GMT

@cuddlesmama wrote:
Hi Ladies,
I am a nurse and while I was giving report to the oncoming nurse I heard a nurse's aide say to another nurses's aide that one of the patients had a 40 minute seizure (she meant to say 30 sec) and the aide that she said it to said really loud said hey everyone so and so had a 40 minute seizure and was laughing. Well the aide that said it looked so embarrassed and I feel that kind of outburst was not necessary and unprofessional. I felt so bad for the aide but by the time I got through with report the woman had left but I will see her tonight.
Why do people love to humiliate other people I'll never know. Its just not nice!

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

cuddlesmama — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:13:16 GMT

Thank you soo much ladies for your honesty, and I do agree with all of you. Have a blessed day.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

chickenbutt — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:19:28 GMT

I think that for some, acting in negative ways like this is the only way they know how to feel better about themselves. It's like the notion that pushing others down pulls them up.

OTOH, I had a mother who seemed to take some kind of glee in humiliating me in front of others (some of the things she made me do in front of people should have been against the law - including making me disrobe, at the age of 12-13, in front of a roomful of teenage boys). In her case, I think it was a manifestation of her own self-loathing. She hated herself so much that she manifested that upon me in numerous ways - humiliation was one of them.

I guess she felt that if she humiliated me it must have taken some of her own humiliation off of her - or something twisted like that.

Generally, however, I think it just falls under the tent of people who know no other way to feel better about themselves, but to drag others down below them. It's definitely sad, but also can be infuriating. For most people I always just felt badly for them. As to that mother-thing, I was only left with hatred, disrespect, and resentment for her.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

Lyttlewyng — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:25:34 GMT

This is one of my pet peeves... hurting others, in thought, word or deed, even if it was only meant as a "joke". I've become aware that in some circles, i t's become trendy to dominate others, be it to embarrass, humiliate or subtly taunt with a "back handed compliment". For some ridiculous reason, those who behave this way feel some sort of empowerment after the fact. My only guess is it's due to jealousy, insecurity, or lack of approval from others in their own lives and they, themselves, were made to feel inferior. Rather than standing up and confronting those who've hurt them, they similarly reenact the bad behavior toward others. In my opinion, it brings them a sense of confidence and at the same time, puts a temporary band aid on their own pain.

I agree with others who feel that the aid needs to be confronted and pointed out how her behavior was mean spirited and totally unprofessional. And straight away, it places a bad mark on her reputation in the workplace as well.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

qualitygal — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:26:07 GMT

CB, Kisses and Hugs.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

chickenbutt — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:29:33 GMT

Thanks, QG. That's very kind!

I was thinking about this and, granted I'm VERY sensitive to being embarrassed or humiliated due to my childhood, I remember times when either I fell or I saw somebody else fall - or something like that. Anyway, there would always be those who just thought that was hilarious.

What the heck? Is it really funny to see somebody else hurt? Don't try to help them up or see if they are ok - just stand there, laugh, point, and get others in on the 'fun'. gadzooks!

What is with somebody who laughs at the misfortune of others? It just horrifies me.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

qualitygal — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 16:41:31 GMT

CB, I once heard that laughing was because of nerves and that person didn't know what else to do. Kids are one thing, adults are another. Totally not appropriate though.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

chrystaltree — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 17:12:23 GMT

There countless reasons why some people feel the need to build themselves up by belittling someone else. To be honest, the situation here should have been a non issue. Who in this world has not mispoke at some time? The woman should have laughed the thing off and said " obviously, I meant a 30 second seizure...". Or someone else could have said it for her. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself.....or for someone else.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

chickenbutt — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 17:15:05 GMT

QualityGal wrote:
CB, I once heard that laughing was because of nerves and that person didn't know what else to do. Kids are one thing, adults are another. Totally not appropriate though.

I have also heard that, in some cases. A lot of people I've seen over the decades truly see something funny in the misfortune of others.

I think that if I had a problem with uncontrollably laughing at somebody I would feel compelled to remove myself from the scenario until I could collect myself. I would feel horrible that I was laughing at somebody like that. But that's just me.

BTW, just for the record, I'm not saying that comedy skits fall under this premise. That's another thing entirely. Nobody is possibly getting hurt or embarrassed.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

sidsmom — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 17:22:38 GMT

Another way to look at it:

The OP may be projecting their feelings upon the aide. There's a greater than zero chance the aide wasn't embarrassed & never gave it a second thought.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

PINKdogWOOD — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 17:33:34 GMT

This type of behavior is so intolerable especially in a hospital setting. I'd be having a serious c hat with both of these aides and then I'd be making sure they're both let go.

It's painfully apparent they are both in the wrong line of business. You do not pledge yourself to be an aide and/or later a full fledged nurse to dedicate yourself to people who need your full & undivided help and attention and then speak like these two did/do.

I'd fire both of them and then let them know why.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

silkyk — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 17:50:12 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
There countless reasons why some people feel the need to build themselves up by belittling someone else. To be honest, the situation here should have been a non issue. Who in this world has not mispoke at some time? The woman should have laughed the thing off and said " obviously, I meant a 30 second seizure...". Or someone else could have said it for her. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself.....or for someone else.

ITA! I also get SO mad when someone makes fun of someone and THEN has the nerve to say to them (when they don't laugh) "you have no sense of humor"......uh yeah they probably DO so lets make a great joke about YOU and watch ME laugh. That shuts them up fast.

Re: Why Do People Feel The Need To Embarrass Other people At Work

Sooner — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 18:00:08 GMT

On the other hand, people make mistakes, and others laugh about it. To me, the offended party needs to learn to laugh small things off and laugh at herself.

Did I misunderstand this OP? I took it that someone said something that was really wrong, so wrong it was silly, and others were laughing about it. Did I miss something? Is that really all that happened? Now I'm confused. Why is that a big deal? Are we all perfect now and must not be lauhed at/with?

If that's all that happened, that's not really a big deal. It happens all the time at work. Where I work, we would all have had a good laugh about it an NOBODY would have been upset.