topic Re: Wedding issue in Among Friends

Wedding issue

ShopperL — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 22:17:11 GMT

I have a dilemma. I was invited to a niece's wedding (hubby's brother's daughter). I've seen her about 5 times in her life and wouldn't recognize her if I ran into her at a store. We are flying to the wedding, renting a car, staying in a hotel so this is costing a few bucks. Got a save the date card and it is a black tie optional event. The last thing I want to do is purchase a gown that I will only wear once. I just retired and funds are precious at this point. Would you purchase a gown, wear a nice fancy below the knee dress or some other option? I'm looking forward to seeing my other nieces and nephews at the wedding so I want to go. What are your thoughts?

Re: Wedding issue

kaydee50 — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 22:19:52 GMT

I would not buy a dress that I'd probably only wear once. Shop your closet. I bet you already have something appropriate. And remember, it's the bride's day. What the guests wear is of very little importance.

Re: Wedding issue

Shelbelle — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 22:21:37 GMT

My son is getting married in April, I will wear a gown, but I would assume most of the female guests will not be in gowns, but more dressy cocktail attire. I dont see a need for you to wear a gown.

Re: Wedding issue

rockygems123 — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 22:23:18 GMT

@ShopperL

I have been in this situation for an evening charity event, wore a merino wool fitted below the knee dress with organza sleeves and it worked out well, didn't feel out of place. Found this info online:

"Yes, you can wear a cocktail dress to a black tie optional wedding; it is considered an appropriate choice as "black tie optional" means guests can choose to dress slightly less formal than full black tie attire, allowing for cocktail dresses as a suitable option for women. "

Re: Wedding issue

roeroe1005 — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 22:37:27 GMT

Anyplace where you can "rent" a dress? I remember they were popular a few years ago, probably before covid.

I would go for the below the knee dress if you already have it. When my nephew got married in October, the bride wanted everyone to wear a gown/long dress. I had just moved back to be closer to my family and could not afford to buy a gown. I wore dressy wide leg pants (only worn for very special occasions) with a dressier top.

If you have any thrift/consignment shops, check them out also.

Don't make yourself crazy over it.

Re: Wedding issue

lgfan — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 22:49:12 GMT

A pantsuit with a nice blouse would work out well for the wedding. A brooch or fancy scarf could also make it look more elegant.

Re: Wedding issue

jackthebear — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 23:03:49 GMT

@ShopperL wrote:
I have a dilemma. I was invited to a niece's wedding (hubby's brother's daughter). I've seen her about 5 times in her life and wouldn't recognize her if I ran into her at a store. We are flying to the wedding, renting a car, staying in a hotel so this is costing a few bucks. Got a save the date card and it is a black tie optional event. The last thing I want to do is purchase a gown that I will only wear once. I just retired and funds are precious at this point. Would you purchase a gown, wear a nice fancy below the knee dress or some other option? I'm looking forward to seeing my other nieces and nephews at the wedding so I want to go. What are your thoughts?

Amazon has tons of dresses that could work
or Poshmark ebay

TJ Maxx and Marshall are getting dresses

those are more economical options

Re: Wedding issue

Love my grandkids — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 23:04:59 GMT

@ShopperL Oh lots of good ideas here! And don't stress about the wedding of someone who is basically a stranger. I'd also shop for "pre-loved" clothing. Our city has a number of them. Do an internet search in your area. Best of luck.

Re: Wedding issue

drizzellla — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 23:36:01 GMT

@roeroe1005 wrote:
Anyplace where you can "rent" a dress? I remember they were popular a few years ago, probably before covid.

I would go for the below the knee dress if you already have it. When my nephew got married in October, the bride wanted everyone to wear a gown/long dress. I had just moved back to be closer to my family and could not afford to buy a gown. I wore dressy wide leg pants (only worn for very special occasions) with a dressier top.

If you have any thrift/consignment shops, check them out also.

Don't make yourself crazy over it.

We visited a thrift store. And there was a "nicer than an average dress" on display. I would have bought that dress BUT I could not think of any occasion I would ever wear it. I still think about the dress and think I should have bought it anyway.

Since the nicer dresses are usually only worn once, they are in wonderful condition. I know all my formal dresses were worn once.

Can't hurt to check thrift stores out. Believe me, after attending numerous niece's weddings, thousands of miles from our house. We were always shocked when we got our credit card bill after the wedding (and not in a good way).

Re: Wedding issue

Janey2 — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 00:05:02 GMT

I have gone to many black tie events and never wore a gown. Many of the guests wore knew length dresses. If you have a nice black dress ( or any other color for that matter) wear it. I am sure many of the guests will do the same. Dress it up with jewelry and a pair of great shoes.

Re: Wedding issue

LizzieInSRQ — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 00:10:57 GMT

@ShopperL if its a fancy event and you dont have a fancy dress you can google online dress rental. I know someone who used Rent The Runway. She has a fit figure so she does fit easily.

Check it out. Men can rent black tie, why not women renting fancy dress.

If you do end up buying one, from say Amazon etc. You could wear it more than one time ( think holiday time) especially if you are wearing it out of town, locally would be a different audience somewhat.

When it doubt, you could buy a simple black dress and use accesories, shoes, pins, wraps, jewelry to fancy it up and then be able to wear it again and again.

Re: Wedding issue

Somertime — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 00:28:18 GMT

@ShopperL

If you have a pair of black dress slacks, Nicole Miller has a great sequin top that would be perfect.....A667914 for $59.00. Kim Gravel has seqiun slacks as well A671312 for 60.99. I have purchased both and can highly reccommend them.

Re: Wedding issue

simplyfriends — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 00:34:54 GMT

@ShopperL You definitely want to feel pretty since you are spending money to travel there and it sounds like you are looking forward to seeing other family. I would be sure to find something you're comfortable in and feel good in. These are just suggestions. I don't know your style or what time of year.

Re: Wedding issue

Zoe — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 01:28:54 GMT

If you don't have any cocktail-like attire (agree with not needing to wear a true gown), could you ask your friends if they have anything you could borrow for the occasion?

Just lent my friend my Joan Rivers black ball gown skirt and a sequin top to wear to a winter wedding. She didn't have anything suitable, and this outfit has served me well when going to opera or weddings or special occasions with my better half. She returned it in pristine condition and didn't have to spend any of her money for a one-off outfit.

Also second the options to rent or thrift stores.

Re: Wedding issue

haddon9 — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 01:36:09 GMT

I've been to several black tie optional weddings in upscale venues in recent years and many women wear dressy jumpsuits or flowy chiffon black pants with dressy tops. You could get a dressy blouse or tank with jacket and dress it up with accessories.

I would not buy a gown since I don't like dresses plus it's kind of limiting....where would you wear it again? Separate dressy pieces can be worn to other events or out to a nice dinner or another party.

Re: Wedding issue

Sooner — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 02:23:13 GMT

I would look at Goodwill or Salvation Army or various church thrift shops. After the holidays would be a great time to look! Probably lots that were worn once!

Re: Wedding issue

Sakuya — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 03:42:43 GMT

I would not buy a gown. Black pants from your closet and a nice top with jacket will work just fine. Add a fancy necklace or broach/pin on the jacket and you're all set. If you don't have a nice top or jacket and don't want to try a thrift shop, check out walmart. You will probably find something that will work for a low price.

Re: Wedding issue

chrystaltree — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 08:07:25 GMT

It says black tie optional so obviously, you aren't required to wear an evening gown. Just wear something nice. What you would wear to fancy restaurant and dress it up with jewelry and sparkly shoes.

Re: Wedding issue

ID2 — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 11:19:37 GMT

OP. I wouldn't go. They are somewhat of a distant relative. Give your regrets, send them a nice card with money and call it a day.

Re: Wedding issue

Skyegirl21 — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 12:03:56 GMT

Fancy weddings seem to be in trend right now- But a nice dress is absolutely fine! Look around in thrift and consignment stores if you don't already have something appropriate- Yeah agree, I try not to buy expensive clothing that will not get much wear!